To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

@samantha9 Thanks for signposting these - appreciated.

No. feminism is about equality with men and we don't have that as only women are given titles based on whether they are married or not.

Reasonable. They wouldn’t guess your name so they shouldn’t guess your title.

If you don't know how I'd be surprised as it's pretty much the most common 'title' of those who don't have Dr or Prof to substitute

But that’s the point. People have to know your preference to be able to address you how you’d prefer. You ticked the ‘married’ box, and whilst you might be offended they referred to you as Mrs, the majority of women are happy to be referred to in this way. Couldn’t you have made a point of mentioning your preference re title when completing the form initially if it’s such an important issue for you?

Because. It doesn't suit your argument to accept that women have a choice. If she doesn't want to be "defined" by a marital status she doesn't have to.

She can stay as Miss
She can use Ms
She can use Mrs
It's her choice
Plenty of women still go by Mrs. That's their choice. No one forced them. I don't have kids but friends gave daughters in their 20s and 30s and they've nearly all changed their name and become Mrs. My age group is 50s, almost all are Mrs. I don't think I know anyone who goes by Ms. Maybe they do. It's not a big deal either way. We've all got professional jobs and decent wages. None of us depend on men. No one has been pressured

Perhaps not if your original surname was as awful as mine. On a par with Johncock or Titterton. I was very glad to see the back of it and willingly took DH's rather lovely surname.

I’m Dr, I put Dr on forms, and yet there are people who still call me Miss, and when I say people, it’s usually men who don’t like using my Dr title, and default to Miss, even when corrected.

It may be small to some, but it annoys me no end, a man with Dr title gets called Dr

That's what Ms does and the reason why it's not the norm is that some women prefer to choose

No they can't. I often just get called mrs without being asked. Anyway, there is no neutral title that doesn't prevent people making assumptions about your marital status.

Which is why any sensible website designer would encorporate a choice of titles. And no, "Mrs" is not "the" norm, else mainstream newspapers such as the FT wouldn't use Ms as the default unless the woman under discussion is actually known to prefer another usage.

@Cosyblankets Of course women are still defined by marital status. Hence the titles. Come off it!

Of course they can choose. If someone called you Ann instead of Jane, you'd correct them. No different with the title. It doesn't mean they can't choose. Just because someone assumes doesn't make it their title

No, ms should be neutral but it isn't. People often just assume I am divorced.

Actually mine is horrendous (but with a very ancient and interesting history) and I also have a frequently mis pronounced first name/given name.

I 100% agree with you OP. And for all those posters sneeringly saying you must have too much time on your hands, why are you overthinking this etc, my response is that they are underthinking it.

A lot of women have fought over many years and invested a lot of time and energy into fighting for women to be seen as individuals in their own right, not as an adjunct to a man. To me, being a Ms and not a Miss or Mrs is a significant part of this.

I don't disagree and would happily adopt the Quaker practice of no titles if everyone did.

I don't want to choose a title though.Men don't feel the need to advertise whether or not they are married. Why should women want to?

Interesting, in academic life this just isn't the case. I was in teaching, civil service and fashion industry and it was the same decades ago.

I personally would go for calling women Ms by default regardless of whether I knew they were married or not if I had to use any kind of prefix. But overall if I typed a person's name in full on correspondence I'd just put first and last name. Save getting it wrong.

Are you always this patronising? I'll let you in on a secret: some of us are capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time.

Absolutely

@UpperLowerMiddleClass Absolutely this. Just the other day I was looking a new car for myself at a dealership. There was a "joke" made to my husband about the cost being worth it to keep "the wife" happy. My husband isn't paying a penny for it, you sexist prat.

Who are all these people using titles?
My first name and surname is used by doctor dentist hospital utility company etc. Who is calling you by a title?

This is another one that gets trotted out on here. I've never once had this happen to me. If I've been buying a car they've spoken to me and me only.