To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

So you did so in protest at being referred to Miss.
Basically only achieving that people now think you have been married at some point and are either still married or divorced.

It doesnt make you seem any more separated from the patriarchy despite what you claim.

If you wanted to really step back from being claimed by a man you wouldve stayed as a Miss after marriage.

Or changed your title to Dr to prove to us all how really so much smarter you are than other wee women.

@blubberyboo I think you've misunderstood - I was a Ms before marriage. So it has nothing to do with men or my marital status.
Also - I don't think you understand what Ms means.

Or Professor that'd teach us thickos.

Talking about Professors what's Germaine Greer got to say about marriage I wonder.

@QuintadosMalvados Well I doubt that she was ever a Mrs (happy to stand corrected on this if someone can show she was), but she did marry. Albeit briefly.

Last time I commented on one of these I was lectured hugely.

Im divorced. Kept my ExH name as it's the same as my DD and I still use Mrs.

I think it's a completely personal preference and not one I can get worked up about if systems put something wrong. I just correct it.

I understood perfectly that you chose to change from Miss to Ms then you married and stayed a Ms with partly taking your husbands surname.

and i absolutely do understand that Ms has many different connotations to different people. Mostly connected to divorce, marriage and using maiden name and not wishing to disclose marriage.

Rarely would people assume that you were never married and had just changed your title. Both before and after your marriage. In doing so many people would still associate that with you being a divorcee. Because in the past thats what what many women used it for.

You cannot control other peoples minds so they will still think of you in relation to a man. Even a non existent one.

If you wanted to show that you were truly unshackled from the patriarchy and the ownership of man you would have stayed Miss all along.

But its neither here nor there. Because you are a wife so what has this entire thread been about other than trying to put yourself on a pedestal above other women as if you are somehow smarter and "unowned" by a man?

A true feminist would not be patronising other women for using their own free will in their own marriages.

But I'm bored of you now so........

Not always - Doctor, Professor, reverend, right honorouble

Yes, "bored" because you incorrectly assumed my title was tied to a man/to do with my marital status. And that Ms means divorced.
I repeat - Ms is a neutral title.

@Lifelover16 All of these are of course applicable to both men and women, however.

If you changed your title to Ms at 18 why would you be making such a fuss about retaining that same title upon marriage as though it’s an impressive thing to do? And why would you be so pressed to write a thread about it if that’s a title you’ve held the majority of your life? It’s not adding up.

Convenient to have shared this new piece of information at the death after being challenged about changing titles. Did you feel your argument was being undermined?

This discussion begs the question why we need titles at all? Can’t we just be addressed by our names?

🙌🏼

I agree.

@RomaRoamer Because when I married so many people assumed I had 'automatically' become a Mrs. See title of post.

@Lifelover16 I would have no problem with that at all. Failing that, one 'feminine' universal title to bring us all in line with Mr.

So you correct them and move on, instead of writing a post to slag off other women who have chosen to be Mrs.

It’s not a normal response, the results of the poll alone have proven that.

@RomaRoamer Are you a fan of getting rid of titles altogether?

I couldn’t care less what anyone decides to go by. It’s really not that big of an issue but you seem hyper focused on it judging from other threads.

If you put as much energy into changing something that really does affect women in a negative way, as you do into suggesting we are all thick, you might actually make an impact somewhere.

Cooling off on the judgment would be a great start.

@RomaRoamer Not really what I asked.
So you'd be happy to not be a Mrs, but just be first and last name? As in, no titles.
I think that's a great idea personally.

Except that the whole premise of the thread is nonsense.

Mrs is an abbreviation of Mistress, as is Miss, and Ms. Historically, older women were called Mrs regardless of marital status as a mark of respect. Mrs was exactly the same as Mr, which is a contraction of Master.

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms-untangling-the-shifting-history-of-titles

I can’t stress enough how unimportant mine or anyone’s title is to me. I think most people simply don’t care as it’s such a non issue.

You haven’t addressed why you think it’s acceptable to wear rings or judge other women yet.

I hated when I was called Mrs "my last name" - this is my mum, because my last name is my father's. Mrs is the wife of someone (like of- someone in the handmaid's tale). As I never took my XH's name so I would never be Mrs anything.

MARRIAGE?! It's a bloody load of cobblers, Sheilas. Running around fetching tinnies of Fosters for some ungrateful Bruce all day and night.

(Germaine, please, how many more times, get your own mn account, stop hijacking mine!)

That'll be Professor Greer to you, Quintas whatever your bloody name is.

What annoys me non-medical doctors expecting to be addressed as Dr.

Erm, no thanks.

I do think that perhaps all adult women should be Mrs. I am getting divorced soon and maybe will switch.😂