Over used mumsnet phases?

[WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp]

You/he/she is a narcissist.

You don't sound very nice/pleasant.

I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism.

She/he must have ADHD/Autism.

You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work).

Op: I need a new dress.
Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200.

I hate Boden.

I fancy Greg Davies.

...

What have I missed?

I've been in my room crying all day.

“Race to the bottom” - not just overused, but incorrectly used too.

“l just couldn’t get worked up over this” - bully for you! What help is that to anyone?

“You have an alcohol problem” - roughly translates as “You have dared to actually enjoy a couple of drinks”.

“But why do you neeeeeed to do XYZ?!” - it’s okay to just WANT to do something!

“Imagine all this fuss over £x” - how about YOU be grateful you only gave to imagine it rather than living it?

Advising someone to LTB for a minor infraction, after only hearing one side of the story.

Asking someone if their DH is having an affair despite there being absolutely zero evidence.

”with a massive salad”

"think" as in "DH has a hobby, think early weekend starts and long trips away".

It's so unnecessary. I'm reading what you have written if you have written it well I will already be thinking of what you're describing!

Your marriage is breaking up and youre devastated? Just have a spa day

Going bankrupt? Take in ironing

Is this a line?? Go to a dr!!

I earn £1m a year but can't afford my window cleaner. Can I claim benefits?

“We had baby with us”. THE baby. Not baby. Irritates me every time.

You do you.
Wind your neck in.

“I have a friend, we’ll call her Petronella, who is married to man, we’ll call him Archibald”

I can definitely see a line on that clearly negative pregnancy test - congratulations OP!

SEN.

How much ironing is there in the world 🤣🤣🤣

Mine is all the mumsnetters living next to children who “scream” from 6am -11pm. When questioned, they confirm it is “literal screaming”

You're a nanny with a fanny. Absolutely hate it.
Niche job/hobby.
Links to dresses that my sofa would be embarrassed to wear!

These are less frequent nowadays but used to be standard MN posts:
Reference to being "large of nork".
Naice ham.
"Have you thought of taking in ironing?"

And its twin... "I'm a sahm and DP earns £28k which I know is loooooads and we should be grateful for such a good salary..."

Myself and my partner
Sat here in tears.
Keep your sticky beak out
Not my circus not my monkeys
You sound hard work
No is a complete sentence
Plate up, fry off.
I love the bones of him

“My sister has had a three year affair with my husband, has embezzled my life savings, killed my cat, and when I raised it she urinated on my living room rug and set fire to my car.

I’m really upset and want to go NC, but DH says I’m overreacting. AIBU?”

I think this is the one that annoys me the most.

ND. Everyone and every child is ND and this is the reason for all misbehaving.
It's a MIL one.
Why are you doing that for your ADULT child?

I'm 49 and have 15 children, should we try for another.
Of course you should OP, my uncle Eric's barbers next door neighbour but one had a baby at 60, (conceived naturally) and she couldn't be happier. Go for it, you only regret the things you don't do.

The term "boundaries" when used to mean doing exactly what you want with zero conscience about the impact on others (or even just basic politeness).

Are you me?

One I’m in two minds on:

“What’s the point in asking OP why she had children with this man? It doesn’t help her now!”

Well no, it doesn’t help if she’s struggling with a month-old first born and he’s turned out to be useless. But when it’s the third child and an OP is wailing “He did nothing for the first two, but he promised it would be different this time” - then yes, absolutely ask the question!

‘I just snorted my coffee over my keyboard’ - no, you didn’t.

‘Please be gentle’ - fuck off. That one makes me want to be the opposite.

We no longer see the old ones that were trotted out daily such as ‘dons hard hat/gets popcorn/gavel/don’t let the door hit you on the way out…’

“It’s a tricky age”

Said about every possible age between 0 and maybe 25