Over used mumsnet phases?

[WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp]

You/he/she is a narcissist.

You don't sound very nice/pleasant.

I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism.

She/he must have ADHD/Autism.

You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work).

Op: I need a new dress.
Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200.

I hate Boden.

I fancy Greg Davies.

...

What have I missed?

Singular they is grammatically fine and has been used for centuries.

Personally I still find it very irritating when the writer knows the gender of the person they're referring to, but use "they" to obscure it.

But I don't see how calling an unknown person he or she instead of they is any better.
"I went to see my doctor."
"What did they say?"
Not confusing or modern in the slightest.

Oh yes, I'm the same for children , as gender not obviously going to be central to the post.

But in a post where the Op is talking about relationships, for example when I am trying to understand whether a woman lives with a man or another woman, if they were to say "them" and if I were to write anything, then I at first assume her partner is a he..Unless the post seems to be in some way pointing to the fact they are in a same sex relationship. For children, yes the precise gender isn't often that significant. It's really questions on couples and their relationships.

@WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz
Yes agreed. In the case of seeing a doctor I agree nobody is going to care what the gender is.

For me, I feel a need to know the gender in a post about relationships. If a woman is a SAHM, and refers to her partner as "they" and lists all the ways this partner was useless or, controlling the finances, or was emotionally distant or had thumped her, or whatever, then I would mentally want to know the partner's gender and if I were to comment , at that point I would make an assumption. And wait for confirmation from Op to me or to another user saying anything.

Agreed, gender is definitely relevant in relationship posts.

I can't stand it when OPs withhold the sexes of the people in their stories. If you don't trust our judgement when we have the full details, why are you asking our opinion at all? If you think we're so sexist that our responses are worthless, go ask someone else.

It's not difficult. Often about things OP acknowledges shouldn't be hard but she's struggling with. I wonder if posters realise what an arse it makes them sound.

If I don't know if they're her or him what am I supposed to call them? 😉

Is this when responding on a thread? If I don't know and feel it's relevant then I make a clear guess. It seems it doesn't affect others so they go along with they. It's individual at the end of the day

Toss a coin,.go by the rest of the context, go for what you think fits the question..I just guess and wait to be supplied with the answer, assuming the Op reads and wished to confirm or deny..But there's no law about this. You can continue with a vague them or they if you like to do that.

edit -
my apologies - think I already posted a comment to you..For some reason I've had the app and the browser version going today and it's messing with my little mind. Sorry to keep going on

I use they in 'real life' though. If I invited a friend to lunch and she/he said 'Oh, I've got a friend staying then' I'd say 'Bring them along too'. I wouldn't feel the need to interrogate whether the friend is male of female, and I certainly wouldn't guess.

It's a quote from Joe Lycett. The answer is in the question and shows that actually we all do it naturally. Sorry, the wink was supposed to be a clue.

@Bosee oh I see..Far too clever for me. If I don't know I guess . And in the end it generally becomes clear. Most of the time in Mumsnet threads it is actually a him or a her..

That’s what I immediately thought of as well. It does my head in.

I also shudder when I see “handhold please”. It just sounds so pathetic, sorry.

I cringe when anyone refers to mumsnet as a “ nest of vipers”.

Finally, I’ve noticed over the last couple of years that rather than just asking “what do you think I should do about this?”, so many posters instead ask “has anyone been through something similar?”. It really irritates me for some reason.

Sit him/her/them down and tell them ……
why can’t we have a serious conversation standing up any more?

Not a phrase but I hate the guessing game threads where the OP asks people what ths outcome of a situation was, then finally comes back 3 days later to tell us it was basically a non event.

Tinkly laugh.

Anyone said 'get a grip' yet?

That needs to be said more tbh, it's embarrassing sometimes

Even worse is "is that you o.p's sister/mum/work colleague," firstly not as witty as they think and secondly jsut another way to try and shut down different opinions without answering them

As it has been been used since at least the 14th century, but people on here are...well we all know why people are so determined but wrong about acceptable language use

You'd have to go back a long time...

I'm a high earner

People who are obsessed with "logging" things with the police. Not actual crimes or potential crimes but ridiculous things like "my neighbour was playing Abba in the garden yesterday. I hate Abba" - "You should log this with the police, OP".

As if the police have this huge leather bound book of irritants we've all logged with them, with zero purpose at all and it's completely useless but at least it's been "logged". 🙄

I didn't want to read and run.

@VividPinkTraybake yes when I posted that it hadnt occurred to me there were indeed various cases where gender doesn't matter and the gender of the doctor you see is a great example.

But when an entire thread revolves around a couple's relationship and you know the gender of the Op but ( usually she, as men don't post so often). Then starts using a them, that is really unhelpful in considering the likely dynamics..Sexist perhaps but I'm pretty sure genders of the characters have a massive bearing on the replies we give.