Over used mumsnet phases?

[WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp]

You/he/she is a narcissist.

You don't sound very nice/pleasant.

I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism.

She/he must have ADHD/Autism.

You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work).

Op: I need a new dress.
Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200.

I hate Boden.

I fancy Greg Davies.

...

What have I missed?

‘I’m confused/I don’t understand……’
Usually used to make the poster feel stupid when actually, claiming that you’re extremely confused because OP mentioned that they had a boyfriend, then later referred to him as ‘they’, makes you look like the stupid one.
The faux-naivety grates on me. I’m sure I’ve read a comment that somebody was ‘confused’ about what an ice cream truck was… “OHHH. You mean an ice cream van?!”

DH has a hobby (think a mode of transport that’s like a tricycle but with only 2 wheels). He does this hobby once a month for about half an hour. We have 2 DC, aged 336 months and 225 months. He’s adamant that he’s doing his hobby tomorrow, but I have a cold and don’t think it’s fair that he gets to go out while I’m poorly and juggling 2 tall, willowy children.
‘Get a shit hot lawyer and divorce him. NOW.’
‘Next time he’s about to head out of the door all lycra’d up, tell him he needs to look after the children you’re going to a spa hotel for the night.’
‘How old are your DC?’
‘Why did you marry someone so thoughtless?! And then go on to have children with him?!’

I have a best friend, let’s call her Denise. I only see her once every 52 months because we’re both so busy. Denise has asked if I would like to attend a bottomless brunch for her birthday next month. This falls on a weekend, which is family time. AIBU not to go?
‘Eugh. Bottomless brunch, how tacky.’
‘How old is she? 8? She doesn’t need to celebrate her birthday as an adult.’
‘She’s a narcissist. Grey rock.’
‘No you’re NBU. Weekends are protected time for you and your little family.’

I have a best friend, let’s call her Denise. I only see her once every 52 months because we’re both so busy. Denise has asked if I would like to attend a bottomless brunch for her birthday next month. This falls on a weekend, which is family time. AIBU not to go?
‘Eugh. Bottomless brunch, how tacky.’
‘How old is she? 8? She doesn’t need to celebrate her birthday as an adult.’
‘She’s a narcissist. Grey rock.’
‘No you’re NBU. Weekends are protected time for you and your little family.’

🤣

AND:

"Why can't Denise celebrate on a Tuesday evening? She sounds very demanding"

"Imagine looking back from your deathbed and wishing you'd gone to a bottomless brunch"

"I suspect there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us"

"I'm clearly in the minority here..." (before expressing the most popular opinion on the thread)"

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm with Denise"

"You all sound exhausting"

Apologies if this is a repeat but I've just seen it and it hit the grumpy button.

'Just use earplugs.'

Despite the OP saying they have young children.

Really? You know that word they use when basically they are accusing you of lying 😂