Over used mumsnet phases?

[WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp]

You/he/she is a narcissist.

You don't sound very nice/pleasant.

I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism.

She/he must have ADHD/Autism.

You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work).

Op: I need a new dress.
Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200.

I hate Boden.

I fancy Greg Davies.

...

What have I missed?

‘Is this outfit fashionable/on trend/stylish?’ followed by 200 posts saying ‘Who cares? Just wear what you want.’ 😡

’I want to try a Hollywood wax. Any tips?’ followed by 200 posts saying ‘why do you want to look like a pre-pubescent child?/this is the fault of the porn industry…’ 🥱

Get a shit hot lawyer

So does this mean an expensive lawyer or an attractive lawyer or maybe both😀

"Four kids. Went on holiday to Spain. Husband absent" etc.. just type it out properly!

This made me laugh. Like bullet points for a presentation.

Then there are the posts that are so long, with no punctuation or paragraphs. And if you have the will to read it, in there will be abbreviations for the most basic words
Gna tell ya abt wt hppnd last nite

I often wonder if it is one of those puzzles we used to get. To see how long it could take to read, and make sense of, a wall of abbreviated words.

My autocorrect would be having none of it though.

'Life admin' is such a slog.

What?

Like setting up a DD for all your bills to be automatically paid from your bank?

Using a comparison website to choose a new insurance policy or phone contract?

Firing off an email to the school now and then?

Handhold please
Hubby has a hobby
lets call her………
Say what?! (Pretending to be in absolute shock)
HOSPITAL NOW!!!
A&E NOW!
OP can I gently suggest….

Anything “trumps” anything else.
It didn’t occur to me/would never occur to me.

Yes definateley
Or if its your ex they are a Narcissist

"I don't like confrontation".

No-one's asking you to grab your neighbour by the throat, just ask them to stop using your bin Sheila 🙄

For context…

Check into the nearest Premier Inn. Or Travelodge.

I didn't want to read and run.

I really wish you had...

“Unhinged” and it’s rarely used appropriately. Some instances do warrant the “unhinged” status they’re given, but more often than not it’s a very ordinary situation and the person involved did something slightly irritating…but regardless they’re labelled as unhinged eg. “my neighbour asked me not to put bird feeders out next to her fence because it caused the birds to poo on her patio” and then the response is “Omg she sounds completely unhinged”. No love, she sounds mildly irritating rather than clinically insane 🙄

"Screaming" - as mentioned above, it usually just means slightly raising your voice.

"Typing through tears" - you're not in a bloody Mills and Boon story. If you are actually crying then put your phone down.

"Well my Mum is dead and I'd give anything for one more minute with her". This is usually in response to someone writing about something absolutely awful that someone has done.

"I'm a people pleaser" (usually with LOL added). It's really nothing to be proud of, and it certainly isn't funny.

‘I’m confused…’ used very passively aggressively to make Op look illogical.

I absolutely hate this.

Mine is from S&B "grey hair is so ageing" and "no one wears hats to weddings anymore".

Turkeys voting for Christmas 🙄

What have I missed?

A thousand other threads on exactly the same topic?

Squirrel some money away

🙄🙄

"What about....."

Usually followed by something so unbelievably ridiculous and irrelevant I genuinely cant work out if the person is being facetious or is just very very dim.

In the trenches

Find your tribe.

This reminds me of a thread some time ago - I can't remember the question but one response suggested the OP set up an orphanage 😂

Get your ducks in a row

Grinds my gears

Boils my piss

Is this too white to wear at a wedding? (usually nasked about a dress that has minute patches of white)

All phrases I have only ever heard on MN, never in real life

😂

Or when people say "is this all you have to worry abou

No mate, I just have this weird ability to be concerned about multiple things in one go 😂

"I'm a people pleaser" (usually with LOL added). It's really nothing to be proud of, and it certainly isn't funny.

And I always find myself thinking “If this is the people pleaser version of you, god help us if we see the selfish version” 😆