To feel that I can’t get married…

[weddingembarrassment]

…because it will be embarrassing to not have many guests to invite?

Long story ss short as possible. DP & I have been engaged for 2 years now. I desperately want to plan our wedding but I’ve been putting it off because (this may sound silly), between us we don’t have many people to invite, and I feel embarrassed about this.

I have the following people to invite: my Dad & his partner, sister and BIL & her 3 kids, my other sister (single, no kids), 2 half siblings (both single), adult daughter & her boyfriend, daughter’s best friend, and 4 friends at most (plus their partners). That is the extent of the guest list on my side. Anyone else would be an acquaintance at best and I’d likely invite around 10-15 extra to the night do, but these would fall under the category of acquaintance rather than close friends to invite to the ceremony and the meal.

My fiancé has his parents, and two close friends (one of whom would be his best man). He does have a slightly wider friendship circle than I do - he has hobbies etc and knows more people through his job, so I imagine he could generate a list of approximately 15-20 night time guests.

Can we have a wedding with these small numbers, or would that be totally embarrassing?!

I really want to be able to call him my husband, but I’m so worried about how ridiculous it will look to not be able to fill more than 2-3 tables 😢

Has anyone had a small wedding like this? Was it OK?

Have a wonderful wedding OP. Smaller weddings are definitely more of a thing. I've seen them called "microweddings".

Your vision sounds beautiful. Get that barn booked and get planning!

Have you thought about asking your father if he would like a couple of friends at the wedding? (Likewise any adult children). It’s quite normal for parents to have a few friends. I appreciate that you are in your 40s and this might be inappropriate but if there is someone it could be lovely for both you and your dad. Enjoy the wedding planning.

I had 2 witnesses, that were strangers! Got married at Gretna Green, and had a party when we got back to London, inviting friends, family and acquaintances

I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse than a big wedding now I’m older. When I was engaged in my early 20’s we were planning 100 - 120 people but went to my the fiancé’s cousins wedding of roughly the same number and I was completely overwhelmed. His cousin (the bride) barely got chance to sit down as she was chatting to various groups of family and guests all afternoon. I decided then and there that we would do 50 people max. We ended up splitting up anyway but if I was to get married now I think 30 would be my absolute max. I wouldn’t do day guests/ evening guests with that number as seems a bit odd. I would just have who I really want there for the whole thing, if that’s just 15 people then so be it. It would be much more intimate and relaxed IMO

We only had close family at our wedding (2nd time for both of us) 3 grown up children and partners, and 2 grandchildren. It was lovely! You book a suitable size venue and it will be fine.

i think they’re may be something else bothering you, as the size of the guest list is no one’s concern apart from you and your partner.

We had 25 people at ours, immediate family and close friends only. It was lovely and we're still together 21 years later.
It'll be fine. I love an intimate wedding.

Of course it would be lovely. You just pick a venue suitable for the numbers you have. Don't rattle around in a massive ballroom. There are venues for weddings of all sizes. With 30 people you'll find venues much easier to come by too. I know people who had their reception in a restaurant, in a pub and at their Mil's (mid-terrace) house! I think fondly of all of them.

With lower numbers you have time to interact properly with all your guests too.

100 this
The princess for the day.. the big dress... the entourage of bridesmaids
Never mind the expectation of an engagement gift... hen party at home.. hen party abroad
I would never do bridesmaid again... having to traipse round bridal shops on a Saturday (my day off) in a crowded town and put off with cold bridal shop staff
And the bloody what's app hen group chat