Secretly I hate when my friends give up drinking

[CurdinHenry]

Not because I want to go in a heavy night out

Not because I think I have any right to tell them what to do

I just don't enjoy their company so much when I'm having a glass of wine and they're having a fizzy water

to me it has zero to do with "healthy choices"

The issue is you don’t enjoy your friends’ company anymore though, isn’t it?

If your Mums friendships were stiff and boring ones and were never tipsy/mellow/drunk/fuzzy/candid/whatever you want to call it, then theres always the possibility they were just with boring stiff people.

If you and your friends can't roar with laughter, tease each other, be silly, confide in each other, open up, laugh some more, sing along to favourite songs, scream at the football, dance, laugh, be candid and have 'in' jokes and daft conversations without alcohol then it's you and your friends who are boring stiff people too.

Sounds like you've taken after your Mother.

I agree op. It's definitely a vibe thing. Not if there's a whole load of people but if you're out in a small group (as I tend to be).

And it's often people who abused their bodies for years becoming sanctimonious to people who drink in moderation.

I don't have a problem with alcohol - I have a low enough tolerance that I can feel one glass of wine, have plenty of interests, exercise regularly etc etc

There is no need to be this rude to other posters.

Why is it always the non-drinkers who are this awful about other people's choices.

No, other posters are not boring, just because they don't make the same choice you make.

Scream at the football tells me all I need to know about you

Moving on

Agree. It's a bit annoying when people school me on good health before going on to insist it's impossible to exercise every day etc

Where did I say I was a non-drinker? I'm not judging anyone for drinking! Its boring and stiff friendships that aren't candid and fun that I'm critical of. I don't understand why anyone would have friendships like that, or would have friendships like that which they can only tolerate with alcohol.

“I don't understand why anyone would have friendships like that, or would have friendships like that which they can only tolerate with alcohol.”

if you’re not being rude (which I also think you were) then you’ve really missed the point of the thread in the above quote

I can't drink - I have liver cirrhosis and it will kill me.

Sorry that's annoying for you. It's annoying for me too!

Of course, and all the older people on here have acknowledged that. But we (and OP) are still allowed to feel sad about it.

'Second tier day friends'? WOW!

So all responses should just be, “yes OP I get sad about that too”

How much

I don't get why it makes a difference to you what someone else has in their glass.
If I'm having a drink i have wine. Sometimes i have one at home because I feel like it and my husband doesn't.
Sometimes I don't have any when I go out because I'm driving or because I just don't want to. It makes no difference to me what my friends and family have in their glass

How much and how often do you typically drink OP? What sort of drinkers were your friends?

Replace alcohol in this context with cocaine, have an OP state that people who don’t do coke are just boring and she considers them to be second rate friends as she said about those who don’t drink.

Would people be defending that? Saying that anyone who disagreed was rude and boring? No? Didn’t think so.

In this context alcohol is no different. The only difference is that alcohol is legal. But the fact is that alcohol does far more damage than coke, because we have normalised it to the extent that people who don’t drink are considered to be second rate.

What this actually comes down to is that OP doesn’t have any friends. Not real ones.

She is incapable of socialising without the support of alcohol. To the extent that she considers people who don’t drink to be beneath her. She said so herself.

There is a vast difference between someone who enjoys a glass of wine or two and who likes to go out for a drink, and someone who actively judges people who don’t drink on the same night out as being second rate.

Enjoying a glass of wine or two with dinner or on a night out doesn’t make you dependent on alcohol. Although it should never be forgotten that alcohol is an addictive substance.

But being unable to socialise without alcohol, considering those who don’t drink to be beneath you and unworthy of your friendship because you need them to validate your choices absolutely does.

I agree. If her friends secretly had non alcoholic wine in their glass she’d be none the wiser. Or maybe OP can only relate to friends who behave in typically drunk ways. I had a friend who loved a drink and was very much a dance on the table and wave your knickers in the air type, she loved a good time … but, to her credit, she never judged or cared if you drank or not. She was secure in herself and enjoyed herself on her own terms and didn’t care if she was the only one on that table.

This is so silly. Alcohol (unlike cocaine!) has been an integral part of human social activity for thousands of years, done by the majority in a responsible way. The OP is just observing that it's a bit more fun to have a wine with friends than to socialise totally dry, and yeah it is!! Younger generations have replaced booze with weed, which is no better and probably worse given the almost 60% rise in psychotic disorders in young people.

Just because you're teetotal doesn't mean you're healthier. Or better. Or have more control.

But you could be a boring friend, just saying.

Does she have a drinking issue to need to give it up? Many people drink regularly and an easily go through a bottle of wine in a week. I suppose its a slippery slope.

I heard of a party of sober people at a restaurant who were laughing and roaring and having so much fun that the waiters tried to sneak a few 'extra' bottles on their bill, not realising that none of them were drinking... 😄

Yes, I have cried laughing with my friends until I could barely breathe - all without a drop of alcohol.

Thanks goodness I have witty friends that dont need alcohol to be funny 😁

I bet they don’t enjoy yours as much either. 😂

When I stopped drinking, I realised how thoroughly annoying a lot of people I knew were and how much I used to drink to tolerate having to spend time with them. The crying ones. And ones telling that loud story again. And my favourite, the ones who have to drunkenly explain for the 6th time how they definitely don’t have a drinking problem. 🙄

There are lots of people I do enjoy spending time with now. I just avoid the ones who always seem to be twitchy for wine. It’s really nice to actually be able to enjoy my friends and not just tolerate them.

People have been chewing coca leaves and ingesting hallucinogens for a long period of time too. 🙄

OP was saying they don't want to socialize with people who don't drink alcohol because they don't like people drinking non alcoholic drinks around them and they're no fun. That sounds like OP doesn't enjoy themselves without alcohol and feels a bit threatened when others don't drink alcohol too. Who gives a fuck what someone's drinking? Someone who has a problem, that's who.

Er, no? How on earth did you draw that conclusion?