AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

[Kim926]

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son.

We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement.

The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son.

For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings.

They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy.

I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school.

I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it.

AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

What the reaction was, has been left vague.

The reaction. That "upset" the OP. In case that isn't clear.

No it hasn’t
read the thread
the husband sent a response

it you actively go through life seeking to be pissed off… sure, you’d stew on this

To be honest, what upset me more was their reaction after we told them. It made me feel as though they still didn't really understand why it was an unreasonable thing to ask.

Sounds like they took your help for granted. and how weird that they ask your husband knowing you do the work.

What did they that upset you? And have all arrangements stopped now?

The child's mum has never done the school run herself, yet somehow made a point of saying she was the one who pushed her husband. They obviously talk to each other, so I find it hard to believe she had no idea he was asking us to cover their childcare.

My son came home saying their daughter doesn't play with him at school anymore.
Maybe it's all just unfortunate timing, but it does make me think that they are being so petty

Given you have spent the entire thread putting forward your theory that the wife of the CF couple probably had no idea her husband made this ridiculous request, and apparently can't read a fairly simple sentence and grasp its meaning, I'll pass on that.

In that case they have been manipulative with you from the very start. Telling their daughter to play with your child when you took her home from school. Now the request for more lifts has been rejected, she’s been told not to play with your child anymore. I think it’s a good idea you’ve nipped the whole thing in the bud. I’m presuming you’re no longer collecting her child?

What nasty people, getting their child involved in their own issues.

OP, they sound like users from the get go.
Your child will get over this.
I think you will be so glad when school starts that you have no involvement.

Their petty behaviour should harden your resolve.

It tells me everything that she hasn't once done the school run herself.
Just the type to think dumping her child for an hour in the morning pre school is no big ask.

Let her pay someone for such a huge ask.

This cost my friend £15 every morning for 1 hour, and the children delivered to the local school.
A very enterprising nice mum with older children, had a people carrier and used to deliver 8 children to the school having given them a cereal and toast.
My friend felt it was 100% worth it as it meant her husband could drop the children to school without the palaver of breakfast, they got up, teeth washed, and out the door.
She started work at 7pm and collected them after school.
It is a huge ask of a neighbour.

Men are usually very succinct in their messages. Your husband said no. He replied that was fine and they would sort something else.

I wouldn’t get too offended by the lack of effusive apology or recognition that unreasonable

My son came home saying their daughter doesn't play with him at school anymore.
Maybe it's all just unfortunate timing, but it does make me think that they are being so petty

these children are 4 or 5 - it won’t have been intentional.

I think it gets difficult if one of yours is sick then you'll feel awkward letting her down. I think it's too much of a commitment.

They aren't being petty, they have been using you and now you are of no use she can now choose herself who she wants to play with.

I hope youre sorted now. No integrated responsibility for some one elses kids on a regularly unpaid basis.
That kind of arrangement only ever leads to trouble and disagreement.
And you arent insured for it.
Enjoy your valuable time with your own offspring or get paid a proper amount for minding someone elses child on a daily basis.

Just as well they are no longer being pushed together for all the school runs anymore then.

He might be upset now but it'll probably shake out for the best. One sided demands don't tend to last anyway and the fallout would be so much worse if you'd taken it on then stopped.