AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

[Kim926]

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son.

We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement.

The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son.

For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings.

They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy.

I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school.

I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it.

AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

Sorry but they are just trying to take you for a mug for free childcare.
Why can’t the Mum just drive? Why can’t the Dad take all 3 children when doing drop offs?
I have 3 children and had to always take my younger two when dropping my eldest off when they were younger.
If you choose to have children you prioritise your life around them not dump them on someone else!

As you well know it is a commonly used phrase when people type in capitals.

So what happens when your child is sick or you have other things on? Are you still going to hsve into accommodate your neighbours child? Or are you expected to coordinate your leave and make sure they can cover??

Equally if one of your kids is ill, you would then still have to drag them out the house somehow to get this other child to school. I'd say I'm happy to help on the odd occasion or in an emergency but don't wish to do so on a regular basis. And I'd recommend the breakfast club.

Easily!! Or mum could get the bus

@Kim926 Are we sure the mum is a CF? Isn't it rather the dad- who has been asking OP's dh about school run- who is a cheeky fucker? Perhaps he told her "hey, Kim will take Lisa to school " and she said "No, I can't possibly ask her this" and he went ahead and contacted OPs dh. Which is bonkers because he's not the one there in the morning. Just saying. It might be that they are cf both of them and planned this together but I feel sorry for the other mum if she's innocent...

It’s an unreasonable request,she’s a cf. This would a layer of chaos to your morning which would build up over time. They might be late, be high maintenance, distract your children, mess around with your kids. Don’t do this, getting young kids to school in the mornings is difficult enough without adding extra work. She should not have asked.

I've been in your shoes and I would say don't do it. I'm all for helping out other parents occasionally but I also think that parents need to make independent arrangements. When DS was in yr1, I was asked if a classmate could be dropped off at mine because mum was returning to work and dad worked shifts. I didn't appreciate how much it changed the dynamic in the morning. I suddenly had to be dressed, ready for when they arrived instead of my usual washing DS, then leaving him with breakfast while I had a shower, bathroom door open. DS would mess around because his friend was there, faffing about instead of eating his breakfast. His friend didn't always want to go to school so had to deal with that too. After two months, his mum was made redundant and the arrangement stopped but something that sounded simple on paper was actually a total pain.

It’s already come up and he can’t pick up the ops child… because he has two younger children. Make sense? No, me either. My eldest has two younger siblings and I miraculously got him to school and back 🤷‍♀️

GPWM

Sorry but that's not an acronym I've seen before. Would you care to elaborate ?

GPWM: Good Point Well Made @TheBlueKoala

No way, she’s asking you to provide a very valuable wrap around childminder service for free. We’re talking possibly £2,500 a year of free (women’s of course) labour. It will be such a pain when your child is ill, has a doc’s appointment, you’re ill, have a holiday, you need to start work early etc. You’ll have to virtually have to contact them to ask permission

@Kim926 As many people have said YANBU, this neighbour is taking the piss, and they bloody well know it. 'That doesn't work for us' should suffice.

Good luck!

I'm a bit slow with the new website, but I've now read every comment. Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply and for all the helpful advice.

My DH sent them a message explaining that we can't commit to covering regular school runs because of their work commitments, as that's something that needs a long-term solution. He also mentioned that it wasn't fair to ask me, as I've started working too. As some of you mentioned, I think they may have assumed I was a stay-at-home mum.

They replied saying it was okay and that they'd manage.

Excellent! Well done @Kim926 That can't have been easy.

They are CF chancers aren’t they. Instead of getting on with it they took their chances asking you first. And the possibility that they asked because they thought you are a stay at home is even more annoying. Sahms aren’t free childcare for people.
I wouldn’t have helped them either. I’m glad you said no.

Good point, well made.

Edited to say, I see @BatchCookBabe has already addressed this!

Why can’t the husband take the child to school?

😅 And here I was thinking it was something sarcastic because most acronyms tend to be (HTH, RTFT etc). Thanks 😉

😆 Easy to think on MN!😘 I have found @ConstantlyFuriosa to be a pretty pleasant poster though, so would have been surprised if she posted something snarky.

Well thank you very much, @BatchCookBabe That’s lovely.

And I get your point @TheBlueKoala and almost posted ‘good point well made’ in the first place in case it was misconstrued!

‘Sorry, Sally. It’s a bit too much for me to handle with my toddler in tow. I hope you find a solution and I’m still able to help with ad-hoc when I can’.

Per OP:

My DH sent them a message explaining that we can't commit to covering regular school runs because of their work commitments, as that's something that needs a long-term solution. He also mentioned that it wasn't fair to ask me, as I've started working too. As some of you mentioned, I think they may have assumed I was a stay-at-home mum.

Well it’s there if anyone else needs it.