“Hurry up” just before sex

[Uglymug2]

I’ve been feeling disgusting recently, I don’t know what it is. I’ve always been slim but recently I’ve been feeling wobbly and just not attractive at all. I’ve voiced this to my DH (of 4 years) who’s told me I’ve not put on weight or anything.

Sex has been a big part of our relationship but I feel like it’s dwindling. We used to have sex daily but now it’s about twice a week, which is fine. I’d like more but don’t want to pressure him.

DH has an addiction to weed and constantly needs it to function. He will smoke at night and spend hours in the garden doing so.

Anyway tonight when we were cuddling on the couch I started kissing him and touching his clothes. He said “hurry up then I need to go to the shop” (I’m not stupid, the “shop” is outside for a spliff or 3). he took his clothes off and just kind of sat there. I said I didn’t feel in the mood now.

he’s in the garden smoking and I’m just sitting here feeling like an idiot. I’m only 30 but feel so undesirable and like I’m throwing myself at my own husband.

husband said I’m overreacting - am I ? Would anyone else be upset with this comment?

When the glass of wine becomes a bottle and a bottle becomes addiction then, like too much weed, it’s a big problem. Addiction in whatever form is horrendous for the non-addict to live with. The reason he’s a ‘walking ick’ is because of his weed addiction.

I'm so pleased you are angry OP. Hold onto that.

@Uglymug2 "It sounds like your sex drives are imbalanced and it's not fair to expect him to stand to attention and perform at your command in order to make you feel better - what about how he's feeling?"

How he's feeling? This is a man who spends 3 plus hours a night in the garden smoking weed, getting stoned and driving them both into debt. You seem to have a curious amount of sympathy for him. If this is your lifestyle and you're cool with it then fine, but most married women wouldn't be and for very good reason.