“All the trimmings” - to find this quite vile?

529 replies

Penelopefly · 02/07/2026 20:58

I’m away with my boyfriend at the weekend. In the course of messaging about our respective days, I’ve mentioned I am starting to pack. He said ‘remember some nice lingerie with all the trimmings’. I queried what trimmings meant - he clarified stockings and suspenders.

I feel like a piece of meat!

OP posts:

NovemberMorn · 06/07/2026 16:34

WilfredsPies · 06/07/2026 16:28

I haven’t got the energy or the patience to explain it again.

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Good.
Waffling gets boring after a while.

HumberSquid · 06/07/2026 16:38

WilfredsPies · 06/07/2026 16:28

I haven’t got the energy or the patience to explain it again.

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Good. First rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.

aliceyyyy2654 · 06/07/2026 17:37

WilfredsPies · 06/07/2026 16:28

I haven’t got the energy or the patience to explain it again.

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That’s a shame, I enjoyed watching you get flustered

JillyComeLately · 07/07/2026 00:33

WilfredsPies · 06/07/2026 12:25

Fuck me you’re persistent 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m not a back tracker at all and it’s not what I implied. I said what I said and I meant it. That you don’t have the capabiliy to interpret and understand it correctly is not my problem. I’ve tried explaining what the problem is with what he said. As have many others. I’m going to have one last try at clarifying that particular statement, and then you’re going to have to ask someone else to explain it to you, because I don’t have the patience for you.

I said "because there will always be women whose bar is on the floor and who will just laugh it off as banter." That does NOT mean that women who deal with situations with humour are ‘lesser’. Of course it fucking doesn’t mean that! What it does mean is that there are instances where a man’s ’jokey’ comment should not be treated as banter but where he should be pulled up and not be allowed to get away with it. And even if a woman’s bar is on the floor, that still doesn’t make her less than any other woman. Is that clear now? Because if it isn’t, then you’ll just have to draw a line under it and move on.

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Swearing and talking down to people does not convince anyone that you didn't imply some women were less than others because they choose to see humour where others do not.

Sometimes on forums it's better to keep quiet and move on.

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