“All the trimmings” - to find this quite vile?

[Penelopefly]

I’m away with my boyfriend at the weekend. In the course of messaging about our respective days, I’ve mentioned I am starting to pack. He said ‘remember some nice lingerie with all the trimmings’. I queried what trimmings meant - he clarified stockings and suspenders.

I feel like a piece of meat!

The only reason I’d be offended by this is because of the suggestion I’d have “forgotten” to begin with.

Ok, now I just want some bread sauce! Sorry!

I like putting on that stuff but it's not an everyday occurrence. I'd maybe do it for a night away together but wouldn't put a lot of thought about it.

If he's otherwise your cup of tea, I'd put it down to him being excited about you and making a clumsy comment. The real test would be if you turned up in your comfiest mismatched underwear, and if he took it well or kicked off!

Oh, get over yourself.

Twat

Minime22 me too all of the above and since 😉

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

I wouldn’t say it’s vile, no. I think it’s his way of getting excited for the weekend and suggesting he likes the idea of you dressed like this.

If you don’t like this then just have that conversation. Where sex is concerned people have very different tastes and boundaries. He has his and you have yours. If they’re not compatible best to just call it out now.

He is not in the wrong with this request per se.

Do yourself, and him, a favour and just have the grown up conversation

The level of sensitivity on this forum is astounding 😅 why don't you dump him ASAP and stay single forever?

this is impossible to judge because we have no idea about your relationship. It wouldn’t bother me at all if my husband said this or even had at the start, it would’ve made me feel sexy and a bit giddy which for me is just the sign of a healthy relationship (been together 25 years). But the fact you’ve come on here and reacted like this shows either you’re not a good fit at all or it’s too early in the relationship. We can’t just say ditch him there are loads of very open lovely guys out there who would say something like this. Jesus it was your ears only or that’s how it was meant… this doesn’t mean he’s a twisted pervert the poor guy would probably be mortified known he was being torn up on here

Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars; Mumsnetters are from a different planet altogether.😏

If you're not compatible in the bedroom it won't work.. you will always feel u der pressure.
Its a weekend away some fun to look forward too as two consenting adults i dont see the problem here id of packed sexy stuff without needing a prompt.

Me too! Id think I was in for a good weekend. I also think as you get older and embarrassed about saggy tummies and other bits then a nice basque will make you feel confident and in control. Works for me anyway

Ive also read some of your replys i feel sorry for your boyfriend poor guy ...oh well hopefully he meets someone he is compatible with in the future and you do too.. loosen up get a wine down you ,you might have some fun.

Grow up, that’s ridiculously OTT

Agree with this but stockings arnt kinky they're just sexy .
I'd have heels the lot on .. 🤣

Oh dear .

😂🤣😂🤣

Me too

'Dont forget to pack'...sounds like a jokey comment to me....who forgets to pack when they are going away? And that’s exactly the point. If she wanted to wear lingerie and stockings etc, she wouldn’t have needed a reminder to pack them. What he’s actually saying, in the most clumsy and unsexy way possible, is that he expects to see her in them. No ‘would you…’. No discussion of what he likes, or what she likes. Just ‘this is what I want, so make sure you pack them’. Instant ick and no wonder it made her feel like a piece of meat.

Absolutely agree with the last bit. I think this pairing is currently dead in the water.

And yet still an ex. I hate saying this but can men win?

I would pretend I had misunderstood and say that I had presumed we would be eating out but if not I will bring all the veg and Yorkshire puds if he brings the turkey, presuming we had a kitchen available! Suggests he pops in some washing up liquid and rubber gloves if you want to freak him out! I would love to know how he responds....

That is a bit icky, but you did ask what they were. Make a joke out of it and maybe sneak them in the luggage anyway. As I assume by your response to his question that this you already have some offending items personally and wouldnt need to buy new! But only wear them if you feel comfy and not when he says unless its fun to do so at the time. At the end of the day a guy will get excited thinking about it, you won't have to get tangled up with all the elastic after all. I would get worried if he starts pressurising or any weird stuff like that. Usually it's just the idea, they like . But its good to keep things like that handy as a surprise if the holiday gets boring! That way it would be your choice and not his

Okaaaaaay 🤭 I’m the odd one for not screaming LTB for a throwaway remark. It was hardly a demand.

Good god, I feel sorry for men these days.

give the lad a break. he was thinking we're going away and maybe we can have different sex in a different environment. it was a way of telling you he'd like that. maybe you need to listen to the subtext or gently talk to him about it.

No, you’re the odd one for not understanding the concept of nuance, thinking that your sense of humour is the only sort to have and for believing that because you don’t get the ick over something, nobody else has a reason to either.

And you really shouldn’t feel sorry for them because there will always be women whose bar is on the floor and who will just laugh it off as banter.