AIBU Secret spare keys

[ShesGotAway]

So partner and I have recently bought a house in a town nearby to my parents.

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.

We think in this time my DM managed to obtain a spare key. There was only one set of keys declared and that's all we received from the seller. But there was a niggling feeling in my gut about it. My DM hasn't done this before specifically but she has form for other, similar behaviour. Not something I could outwardly ask her about either.

At a recent family gathering someone else brought up the topic of ring cameras and how they have one at home for the dog when they leave her for a short while. I brought up that we'd just purchased a ring doorbell for ours.

Cue a very angry 'well why on earth would you want one of those!' from my DM.

I explained to the group that we'd only received one set of keys when we'd bought the house and I felt like another set of keys could have been left with someone else by mistake (the seller had lived here for an awfully long time). I explained I felt uncomfortable with this as did my partner so we'd bought the doorbell just incase. (We do also receive a very high volume of packages as I use a room in the house as storage for my business).

I don't think I've ever seen my DM in such a silent rage before. And I have quite frankly taken this as proof that she's done exactly what we thought and managed to get a set of keys for our house!

AIBU- she hasn't got a spare

YANBU- she's definitely got a spare key

It is often a requirement of your house insurance that the locks are changed.

It's my Mum not his!

His parents have the official spare set of keys (but also have a healthy respect for boundaries!)

Don’t make a big thing about it. Change the lock and say nothing and don’t leave any copies of keys lying around!!

This always this. Anyone could have a key.

I had to jump through some hoops for my house insurance (due to running part of a business from the property) and this was never brought up!

Ha ha, I'm laughing out loud, I missed that one, since it's usually the MILS that are the culprits. OMG.

Still do as I advised anyway. 😊

Ive voted that you’re being unreasonable because you should have just changed the locks the day you moved in.

I think those suggesting changing the keys are missing the point of the post. It’s not “what should I do now?” (OP knows they can change the locks) but “Do you think my Mum might actually be this f*ing weird?” 😆😆 From what you’ve written, I think so, yes.

Dont tell her you're changing the locks.

It'll be more fun that way.

The estate agent! DBro’s estate agent used to let themselves into his house in the evenings while it was on the market (not for viewings). Fuck knows what they were planning on doing but they had absolutely no business being there. They got a shock when they found DM and me in there doing some cleaning.

To be fair, we were shown around the house by the seller not the estate agents (we're still changing the locks!)

Exactly this. I've changed the locks on every house I've ever bought including btl houses and I change locks in between tenants too. I just keep locks and switch them to another house later.

I'm glad you recognised for what is was. A sanity check when I feel like my world has absolutely none 🤣🤣

To be fair I think dp is looking forward to the footage of her trying. He's been tempted to park a few streets away when he's been home on a weekday just to see if she'd dare 🙈

Me neither. I’ve bought many houses and have never once changed the locks. Don’t know anyone else who has either!
Although in this instance I think I would, she sounds bonkers.And I agree, never give her a key to water the plants or whatever. I can scarcely believe the cheek of some peoples parents and in-laws !

Now I know MN love to blame MILs but how on earth is it her fault when it's the OPs Mum!!

Only time I've known the locks be changed was from keyed to thumb turns on the inside in buy to lets when the laws changed around fire safety

Never heard of this either

See my uh oh post above, my comprehension test was a fail. 😂

My MIL is an absolute gem of a woman. I can see where my DP gets it from. She is also disabled so he learned how to be a contributing part of a household before being released onto unsuspecting partners!

Never been asked this by an insurance company ever. And I have moved a lot.

I will point out that I don't think we're at great risk of being broken into (by anyone but my mum!).

This was an admittedly performative conversation so my mum knows we're taking measures without fully calling her out

We’ve always changed the locks when we’ve moved in somewhere, usually on moving day. This is because I was the previous tenant who once, as a young stripling, got very drunk on a night out, went back home, made a brew and fell asleep on the sofa…of my previous abode, not my current one.

I was woken up half an hour later by a very confused homeowner (thank god I was young and female as they’d probably have called the police on a bloke). Lock changes help keep reprobates like me out.

Glad you’re changing the locks - my mum would 100% have tried this on. Shame you told her about the Ring doorbell - it would have been way better to just catch the footage of her sneaking into your house with her secret keys. And why oh why did she become friends with your seller? 😱 You poor thing, OP, I bet you have some cracking anecdotes from your childhood and teenage years. Glad you can find the humour 😂

Should I talk about the time she once impersonated me on a dating app or the fact she's now best friends with my childhood best friend?

Obviously your mum has keys. Batshittery at its finest.

However, I'd want to know WHY she felt the need to secretly have them. In your shoes, I'd have set up a "sting" operation with various hidden cameras to catch her in the act.