AIBU Secret spare keys

[ShesGotAway]

So partner and I have recently bought a house in a town nearby to my parents.

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.

We think in this time my DM managed to obtain a spare key. There was only one set of keys declared and that's all we received from the seller. But there was a niggling feeling in my gut about it. My DM hasn't done this before specifically but she has form for other, similar behaviour. Not something I could outwardly ask her about either.

At a recent family gathering someone else brought up the topic of ring cameras and how they have one at home for the dog when they leave her for a short while. I brought up that we'd just purchased a ring doorbell for ours.

Cue a very angry 'well why on earth would you want one of those!' from my DM.

I explained to the group that we'd only received one set of keys when we'd bought the house and I felt like another set of keys could have been left with someone else by mistake (the seller had lived here for an awfully long time). I explained I felt uncomfortable with this as did my partner so we'd bought the doorbell just incase. (We do also receive a very high volume of packages as I use a room in the house as storage for my business).

I don't think I've ever seen my DM in such a silent rage before. And I have quite frankly taken this as proof that she's done exactly what we thought and managed to get a set of keys for our house!

AIBU- she hasn't got a spare

YANBU- she's definitely got a spare key

Key safe, hidden where only you know and a combination no one would guess.

THIS!

But it’s not. As evidenced on this thread . I’ve never done it and nor has anyone I know!

Exactly that

And have you ever asked everyone you know whether they changed their locks? Because when we did, it didn't occur to me to tell friends and acquaintance, because why would I? It's not conversation worthy. It was a fifteen minute job among the very many jobs were had to do that week.

I'm amazed that so many posters are confident in saying that no-one they know did it! I suspect they don't actually know whether they did or not.

YABU for not immediately changing the locks anyway.

For me it as cushions and curtains, I deliberately messed cushions up and made my curtains uneven and messy to prove I wasn’t turning into my mother 🤯

I do wonder if it’s a very 1 British thing 2 middle class thing.

Most British people don’t move around much unless it’s parents to uni to parents and maybe shared accommodation to owning eventually. Brits ( I’m a Brit) tend to stay long term in places, homes, jobs etc.. When living overseas it was practically an unwritten law when moving to change locks, I moved a lot.

im from a working class, council estate family, we’d change locks every time we moved, ironically we’d still put a spare key out under the plant pot 😂

I’ve never changed locks on any of the 4 properties I’ve bought over the years, be quite good if a neighbour had a key , I’ve been known to lock myself out. 🤣 Nowadays, I don’t lock the door unless I’m going away for a week. Saves carrying keys

We made the mistake of not changing the locks when we bought our first property. I was just coming out of the bathroom after having a shower, and just wrapped in a towel, one morning, when I heard the front door open (we lived in a bungalow), so I stepped out of the bathroom only to find myself faced with a group of 3 strangers! It turned out that 2 agents had been instructed to sell the house, and the previous owners hadn't ever told the second agent that they'd sold the property, so they were still offering it for sale, and had turned up to do a viewing! Obviously they'd been given a key that the owners had forgotten all about. Even though I was still pretty young (only 17) and not very sure of myself, I demanded the key back there and then. Needless to say my new DH was horrified when I told him what had happened, and of course it wasn't helped by the fact that this all happened while I was only wearing a towel!

So if you don't want to risk that OP, get a new lock a.s.a.p., and then look forward to seeing the look on your Mum's face on camera when she turns up while you're out, and can't get in! 😂

Now that you know that she does have a key for the house I would get the locks changed ASAP and say nothing about getting it done see if she brings it up or not.

Change the locks and do not EVER give her a key. She had been found out and does not like it. She has no fucking right to a key. What us she upto. I would call her on it as well.

My dh always changes the locks!

When my children were in their teens, they ánd my husband went to artschool every saturday morning. I didn't go with them, my language course was on tuesday evening and my art classes were fridays afternoon. My inlaws thought it was not-done for a married woman to leave the house - especially in the evening - without her husband. They also told me to go with my husband to his artclass, what reason did I have to stay home anyway? (Well, laundry, cooking, cleaning......) My husband was perfectly fine with me doing extra courses on my own, and he told his parents again and again. They still said it was indecent. (Yes I'm serious.) Then a saturday morning, just after DH and DC left I got a phonecall. Landline. Private number. After a few seconds of nothingness the person hung up. Same scenario the next saturday, same time and everything. It continued several weeks. I suspected my inlaws, who had a private number, but couldn't prove it. So, the next time we visited them, I complained about the anonymous hang-ups, and told them I went to the police, who were now monitoring my line. The face of my MiL !!!!! While mumbling something like oh, do they now, to me, she hissed from the corner of her mouth to FiL "have you heard what she says?" and he nodded.

And that dear friends was the last of the anonymous calls on saturday 😃morning

‘Surely the obvious response was to pick up the phone every time and say ‘Hi Carol, what’s up?’

Do you have any passive aggressive relatives?

Get a key safe installed and don't give her the code? Then there's a spare key to hand but tantalisingly beyond her reach! You can then watch her trying to safe crack it on the doorbell cam?

I did! I said their names, asked them if it was them! They never answered, and since it was a private number I could never be absolutely sure it was them! Untill I told them I had gone to the police - of course I did no such thing, the police has other priorities than my anonymous caller,😊 But me saying so obviously did the trick, they stopped their calls on saturday morning.😅

Yes! Key safe and doorbell camera - great combination.

actually it depends how long ago it was. My DH got some really horrible anonymous phone calls quite some years ago now and he did phone the police for advice. He was told to change his number and go ex directory and if BT said it would take any length of time to say that he had been given that advice by the police at xxx station (it was even before centralised service) we had a new phone number that day. Ex dir took longer then because of paper directories, although of course it was our old number in there, but we were removed from directory enquiries that day too. Now I sound REALLY OLD!!

Only ever heard it on mumsnet.

Change the locks. Its a 2 minute job.

This. This is a very easily solvable situation.

also cancel the cheque and penguin bollards

Yes change the lock and cancel the cheque.