AIBU Secret spare keys

[ShesGotAway]

So partner and I have recently bought a house in a town nearby to my parents.

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.

We think in this time my DM managed to obtain a spare key. There was only one set of keys declared and that's all we received from the seller. But there was a niggling feeling in my gut about it. My DM hasn't done this before specifically but she has form for other, similar behaviour. Not something I could outwardly ask her about either.

At a recent family gathering someone else brought up the topic of ring cameras and how they have one at home for the dog when they leave her for a short while. I brought up that we'd just purchased a ring doorbell for ours.

Cue a very angry 'well why on earth would you want one of those!' from my DM.

I explained to the group that we'd only received one set of keys when we'd bought the house and I felt like another set of keys could have been left with someone else by mistake (the seller had lived here for an awfully long time). I explained I felt uncomfortable with this as did my partner so we'd bought the doorbell just incase. (We do also receive a very high volume of packages as I use a room in the house as storage for my business).

I don't think I've ever seen my DM in such a silent rage before. And I have quite frankly taken this as proof that she's done exactly what we thought and managed to get a set of keys for our house!

AIBU- she hasn't got a spare

YANBU- she's definitely got a spare key

The first thing I do once the decorators are done is change the locks on a new house.

I once gave MIL a spare key in case she needed to let herself in when we weren’t here. She then started letting herself in when we were home!! So I had the locks changed after a builder did some work here and never gave her a new key!! She would have been offended if I’d challenged her 😆

Thank you! Was beginning to doubt myself!

Same. Been here 10 years. No one has let themselves in. Insurance didn’t ask , if it was a condition we would have.

In defence of the seller I think you'd assume on the face of it that it perfectly reasonable for someone's mum to have a spare set of keys when they live in the next town over.

I doubt she was actually lax with keys otherwise as she refused to even have a for sale sign because she didn't want people knocking on her door.

Change the lock!!

I have a weekly trauma dump over beverages with mine and DPs best friend on a Sunday evening. They both have horrifically nice parents.

He gets all the wacky stories and gets to read the genuinely insane WhatsApp messages I receive

Always change the locks on moving in, especially if the property has been a rental, you have no idea how many keys may exist. New builds are equally as vulnerable, keys are available to almost anybody on site and are easily copied, often several houses will have the same locks and keys. Cheap locks from Screwfix will do as a temporary measure until you can get some proper secure ones that have a Kitemark and 3* marking. ABS are the recommended ones because you can't get the keys cut on the high street, but they can be ordered easily if you know the code. They can also be made so your front and backdoor use the same key. They are expensive but cheaper than being burgled and some insurers insist on them. Cheap locks can be easily picked or "bumped", your insurance won't pay if their is no sign of breaking and entering. Also beware of flexi things that can reach through the letterbox and turn the thumb latches.

You change your locks the day you moved in surely...

We’ve only been in one house but we didn’t change the locks. Didn’t even occur to us 🙈

We had a lot of building work when we first bought our house. We were going to change the locks once the builders had gone (as they had keys too).

Part way through the building the old owner lay himself in to see if a stray Amazon package had ended up there.

We definitely changed them after that!

(Sorry you have a ridiculous mother!)

You can change the locks if you’re a tenant too.

Absolutely this.

I don't know anyone who has done this either 🤷

YANBU - it doesn’t matter sound very possible she has a spare set of keys. It’s a strange thing to do though, as surely she could be discovered anyway even without a camera.

Why haven’t you changed the locks?

I think you’ve definitely caught her out, hence the reaction.

The footage from the ring bell would have been gold if you’d just put one up without her knowing.

We are changing the locks tomorrow!

But mostly because of my batty mum.

We're in a safe area and you can't sneeze on our street without the neighbours knowing but in a nice, reassuring way not a nosey way.

I think the most valuable thing in the house is my mattress and they'd struggle stealing that 🤣

Like many of the commentators on here, it's not really a done thing from anyone I've heard of as a general moving house thing. I actually messaged my friends who moved the week after after all the comments to see if they had and they haven't (and her DP is a policeman!).

They have moved to a similarly low crime, sleepy town though.

Plot twist:
This thread was written by the mum

That is so weird of your mum if true! Why do you think she would want access to the house? Was she/ is she quite controlling?

Go for one of those keypad locks so you can regularly make sure she has no unpermitted access!

🤣

Oh she'd absolutely never fess up to it in public.

If she'd written it I'm sure the headline would have included the words 'ungrateful' 'wretch' and 'daughter' 🤣

I was hoping this would be like that episode of The Mentalist with the secret key.

Why can't you all change the barrel of the key so she can't get in even if she dodges the door camera? It's a very simple and inexpensive thing to do. I've done it on every property I've ever lived at.

Your DM is very odd BTW, why would she want a set of keys???

How on earth did your mum get to know the buyer that well OP? I’m very confused about that part of the story.