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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU Secret spare keys

424 replies

ShesGotAway · 30/06/2026 20:43

So partner and I have recently bought a house in a town nearby to my parents.

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.

We think in this time my DM managed to obtain a spare key. There was only one set of keys declared and that's all we received from the seller. But there was a niggling feeling in my gut about it. My DM hasn't done this before specifically but she has form for other, similar behaviour. Not something I could outwardly ask her about either.

At a recent family gathering someone else brought up the topic of ring cameras and how they have one at home for the dog when they leave her for a short while. I brought up that we'd just purchased a ring doorbell for ours.

Cue a very angry 'well why on earth would you want one of those!' from my DM.

I explained to the group that we'd only received one set of keys when we'd bought the house and I felt like another set of keys could have been left with someone else by mistake (the seller had lived here for an awfully long time). I explained I felt uncomfortable with this as did my partner so we'd bought the doorbell just incase. (We do also receive a very high volume of packages as I use a room in the house as storage for my business).

I don't think I've ever seen my DM in such a silent rage before. And I have quite frankly taken this as proof that she's done exactly what we thought and managed to get a set of keys for our house!

AIBU- she hasn't got a spare

YANBU- she's definitely got a spare key

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 30/06/2026 20:44

I don't understand. The first thing you do when you buy a house is change the locks.

Vaxtable · 30/06/2026 20:45

Why didn’t you just change the locks! That’s what I did when I moved. You have no idea who may or may not have keys

Daisydoesnt · 30/06/2026 20:45

I think if I were you I’d be changing the locks. In fact, I definitely would.

KateSixer · 30/06/2026 20:45

It's always a good idea to change the locks when you move in. You can never know who the last occupants might have given a key to.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/06/2026 20:45

You sound pretty paranoid, maybe she just thought you were being weird.

rwalker · 30/06/2026 20:45

Just change the locks and don’t tell her best £10 you’ll spend
really easy YouTube videos

WaryBlueFish · 30/06/2026 20:45

Just change the locks. Dont tell Mum. Move on, She is being weird for a reason, guilty as charged.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 30/06/2026 20:45

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 30/06/2026 20:44

I don't understand. The first thing you do when you buy a house is change the locks.

Exactly!

morgan56 · 30/06/2026 20:46

I’d just change the locks as a standard? You never know who may have keys / a copy.

LooksLikeIPickedTheWrongWeekToQuitDrinking · 30/06/2026 20:47

None of us have any idea if your mum has a key or not; just change the bloody locks!

Surely it’s better to keep an uninvited person out than wait to catch them in the act?!

OhBettyCalmDown · 30/06/2026 20:47

It definitely sounds sus but in your case id be changing the locks like everyone has said. I also wouldn’t be telling anyone either

BaronessBomburst · 30/06/2026 20:48

YABU because you should have changed the locks!

outerspacepotato · 30/06/2026 20:49

Change your locks.

Don't tell your mom.

Don't ever leave keys where she can get access to one

Stop explaining anything you do to her.

Still put up the doorbell cam.

Hayley1256 · 30/06/2026 20:50

You should change the locks, everyone I know does this when buying a new house

mimbleandlittlemy · 30/06/2026 20:51

Change the locks as others have said. For many insurance companies that is a requirement anyway.

Shedmistress · 30/06/2026 20:52

Ive never changed the locks, but then again my mother wouldn't have a secret set of keys to my house.

Parchedpeas · 30/06/2026 20:55

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.”

Forget all the key and locks talk, this is the maddest part of this story for me 😂.

FieldsOfFields · 30/06/2026 20:55

It is very simple to change the lock, there are a lot of videos on Youtube on how to do it. You just replace the barrel inside the door handle and you just need to know what length barrel to get.

When we first rented a house we were given 2 sets of keys by the estate agent. Then the previous tenant shows up on our doorstep and offers to sell us the keys for our house that she still had!

In this house our keys are ABS ones which means you need a specific code to copy the key, you can't just take our key and get a copy made. This makes it great for any time we left the key with someone.

ShesGotAway · 30/06/2026 20:56

DP is changing the locks tomorrow. (I'll probably end up doing it when I'm finished with work or at least acting as vanguard so the cats don't get out in the process but he can at least go to Screwfix alone).

OP posts:
Ilovemyshed · 30/06/2026 20:56

Change the locks🤷🏽‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Gardenisablooming · 30/06/2026 20:58

Never ask her to feed dcats or water plants. She'll be straight to the key cutting place.

ShesGotAway · 30/06/2026 20:59

Parchedpeas · 30/06/2026 20:55

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.”

Forget all the key and locks talk, this is the maddest part of this story for me 😂.

Imagine walking into the house to get keys and have quick walk around of where meters ect are and your mum's already there vacuuming. Truly batty.

OP posts:
maudelovesharold · 30/06/2026 20:59

Hayley1256 · 30/06/2026 20:50

You should change the locks, everyone I know does this when buying a new house

No-one I know has done this when they’ve moved house! Is it really a thing or is it one of those quirks peculiar to MN?

palran · 30/06/2026 20:59

Good to hear you are changing the locks. I won't lecture you on why it wasn't the first thing you did on moving in!

Say no more to MIL, live your lives and best of luck in your new home...

Make sure DP doesn't give MIL a spare of the new key though!

palran · 30/06/2026 21:01

maudelovesharold · 30/06/2026 20:59

No-one I know has done this when they’ve moved house! Is it really a thing or is it one of those quirks peculiar to MN?

It is bloody obvious that you would change the locks. Anyone could have a key for the existing lock. Neighbour, friend, family members, the gardener, the cleaner, the dog walker, I dunno, who have I left out!

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