AIBU Secret spare keys

[ShesGotAway]

So partner and I have recently bought a house in a town nearby to my parents.

Prior to buying to house my DM didn't know the seller but in the process of buying got really really chummy with them and helped them move and clear the house.

We think in this time my DM managed to obtain a spare key. There was only one set of keys declared and that's all we received from the seller. But there was a niggling feeling in my gut about it. My DM hasn't done this before specifically but she has form for other, similar behaviour. Not something I could outwardly ask her about either.

At a recent family gathering someone else brought up the topic of ring cameras and how they have one at home for the dog when they leave her for a short while. I brought up that we'd just purchased a ring doorbell for ours.

Cue a very angry 'well why on earth would you want one of those!' from my DM.

I explained to the group that we'd only received one set of keys when we'd bought the house and I felt like another set of keys could have been left with someone else by mistake (the seller had lived here for an awfully long time). I explained I felt uncomfortable with this as did my partner so we'd bought the doorbell just incase. (We do also receive a very high volume of packages as I use a room in the house as storage for my business).

I don't think I've ever seen my DM in such a silent rage before. And I have quite frankly taken this as proof that she's done exactly what we thought and managed to get a set of keys for our house!

AIBU- she hasn't got a spare

YANBU- she's definitely got a spare key

Me neither.

It's likely an affordability thing as they can be much much more expensive. And you wouldn't necessarily be able to replace a mortar lock with an abs lock without having to replace the whole front door from what I can tell!

Well when you put it like that 🤣🤦

I think my hyper focus on my mum having a key I forgot it was a possibility for anyone else to have one

What the…. 😅

I’m sure PPs must’ve said this, but it’s usually relatively cheap (£30 - £50 max) and very easy to change a lock barrel yourself, if you have the key. You don’t need a locksmith.

Always recommended, as you simply don’t know who might have a key, whether your home was previously rented or owner occupied. If you’re burgled by someone using a copied key, claiming on insurance may be harder with no sign of a forced entry. That’s why if you lose a key when out, it’s best to change the barrel too.

Your mum sounds highly inappropriate. Who catfishes as their own 18 year old daughter to set them up with dates!

I've already mentioned this somewhere on MN. We didn't change the locks and on several occasions when DP was decorating (before we moved in) he found an elderly Bengali woman in the house. She didn't speak much English but we worked out that she was related to the previous owner and would pop in for a rest on her way to pick up the grandchildren from school. We changed the locks.

@ShesGotAway Solidarity OP. I get regular updates from my mum on what my friend is doing. This is a friend I haven't seen for 30 years and haven't spoken to for 20. Always comes with a helpful comment on what friend does to support her mum/dad/aunt with a heavy implication that I'm severely lacking because I live 150 miles away.

Always change the locks! My Ddad's neighbour had a break in and all of her jewellery stolen. Lots of family heirlooms and irreplaceable pieces brought over from Syria. It was the grandson of the previous owner 😡 the most heartbreaking part was she blamed her eldest son and they didn't speak for years.

Reminds me of this novel

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pleasure-Calling-Phil-Hogan/dp/085752188

What??

Of course if you buy a house from strangers you’d change the locks? We did.

You never know who had a spare key and people can lie about things like that and say there was only one key etc.

You’re spending potentially hundred of thousands on a house so why wouldn’t you spend a couple of hundred to feel more secure?

Omg this cracked me up for some reason! Imagine 😂😂

More fool you then 🤷‍♀️

It might be rare that someone would keep a key and still enter the property but why risk it for the sake of a hundred quid vs your belongings if they go missing

Change your locks, or at least add a new one and always lock that one specifically when going out - do this for keyed window locks or back doors too.

It's very common practice to do this and an important safety measure.

I've also never changed the locks - and my last two houses were former rentals!

Good for you… I guess?

it’s like saying “I never wear a seatbelt, but I’ve never had a crash!”

The first house we bought didn't come with any front door keys and the front door was "locked" by propping a lump of wood at the right angle. Needless to say we went one further than changing the locks and put a full front door on it.

Threads like this always make me feel better about my family. My parents had keys to our house only once and only for a weekend. They were confiscated after the weekend after I returned home from a weekend away to a broken oven that my dad's friend was giving away as it no longer worked. Another time he got us a new back door that a neighbour had put in the skip. We had to replace the locks in that one as he failed to ask for the keys.

Right. It's puzzling to me how many people cannot seem to manage basic, standard risk assessment. It's such an easy fix.

Definitely key changed for each of the three places I've bought in the past.

We chose the last locksmith purely because of the name : Goldie Locks.

@NoCommentingFromNowOn I don't think they can !?

Who? What?

I’m sure there are more people like your mum than we care to imagine.

Neighbours, estate agents, carers, cleaners, lovers, all getting extra copies cut of the spare key they’ve been entrusted with - and subsequently give back. Or perhaps never give back. Maybe, like your mum, they do it to feel a certain ‘control’. Or perhaps as a fallback in case they accidentally lose or mislay it.

If some people never have lock barrels changed, a long lost prodigal son may return from decades overseas/in prison and let himself in shouting: ‘Ma, I’m home!’ 😆

That’s why I prefer the peace of mind of knowing who could possibly have a spare.

It’s bizarre that on finding out your house has one set of keys so other people might have copies, your first thought is to get a Ring doorbell to watch your potential intruders, rather than to replace the locks 😂

To add to that excellent advice - look into extra security measures for patio doors and french windows. And if you have thumb turns and glass panels, if someone smashes the panel, they can reach in and unlock the door (same as if you leave your keys in the door!)

Unless you get new locks with the sort of key that is uncopyable in a normal ironmonger/timsons.

Or the ones that you have to send away for.

It should be the first thing you do, basic safety. I still have keys to various peoples former homes - my best friends, my sister, my mum not to mentionmy previous address.

Change the locks???