To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

Literally nobody believes them. Even the women on here who are not like other girls know it's not true. Fuck's sake, they're bigger fantasists than the women who claim to be incapacitated by walking past McDonald's.

Y'know, Dad was a total sexist 90s MRA dinosaur and he said some quite amazing shit. But he was sometimes funny, and actually he would never have made a foul "joke" about a woman's parts, nor would he have tried to pressure women into accepting it because they're too female to understand a joke or that they aren't perfectly objective in everything * or whatever. I probably don't remember his good points enough so the thread has been good for something, I suppose.

• Itself a stupid argument, because that "joke" is objectively unfunny.

The threads been good, it's kept me away from the ironing pile...

Anyone know how to create an emoji high5?

Ok, we've established the conversation is beyond you.

Get back to work. This is the problem with workplaces that are likely full of males, they can't stay focused. They're too easily distracted by explaining that groups of mostly women reflect their demographic and trying to get them to date losers. Did you know that you have biases, Mr Drawers? It's true, really. You can spend the rest of your shift absorbing this incredible revelation and thanking me for enlightening you. Then you can get me a beer.

I've broken the ironing board out (sad emoji).

It's one of these roles (Operations Manager) where I just need to be available online (to react) and can work from home. Although, I'm often found cutting the grass or making lunch, with screams of "the office is making a noise!" meaning a teams call or so. At nearly £80k salary, it's definitely the future for everyone.

Anyhow, all this is mumsnet fault, they emailed me a list of threads 🤣.

Dude, no woman wants a mans advice on how to keep a man. Its not the 1950s! We'd be happier on our own than putting up with a load of unecessary shit now!

Your comments about drive and betterment would be a hard left for me if I saw you on a dating app. So worried about what other people think and being better than others! Nothing about personality, living in the now, emotional intelligence... you are a pure cringe stereotype!

Your definitely late to the party on this, thanks for taking the time to respond. Please don't reply, I've got 7 people's ironing to complete before the F1 starts 🤣.

Again, no one's laughing.

Maybe the guy the OP was dating could give you some tips on being funny, I mean the majority didn't find him funny either but there was at least a few of the women who said they laughed so that's at least a better response than your 'jokes' get.

Again, more cringe. Literally no one gives a shit about your salary or whether you iron. What is the joke?

I know that generally one should cut conversations with men like you once it becomes clear that they've started enjoying it for all the wrong and ickiest reasons, but I do have to ask, and this is actually a sincere, genuine question: how do you think this post makes you come across, and what effect do you think it has on those of us reading?

OP's fallen asleep and missed the date. Mission accomplished.

All these women he set aside because they didnt have enough drive or whatever really missed out. Because now hes earning £80k for doing nothing AND he irons. Don't all swoon at once!

Because that's all women want isn't it? Money and a man who really throws down and does the ironing.. women like that are definitely not marching to death.. not at all!

Well actually, I can believe that an MRA who was dug up from the 90s and now spends his working hours whinging about being a victim of sexism on Mumsnet is in a managerial position. That much checks out.

But I really am interested to know how he thinks this post, complete with the silly try-hard emoji, makes him look, even if we were to believe it?

Ah, my thing is that I couldn't care less if hes a manager ;)

Imagine putting all the effort into 5 dates, being decent kind and open, having the lady enjoy your company. Everything appears to be going great. Then one small mistake one misjudgement of the acceptable sense of humour level. (There’s people who find this funny and people that don’t neither is right or wrong). That’s it binned off by people who only want to judge on that one thing. People have many sides to them not all of them are perfect. Let’s have some empathy for others and speak with them about what they said, discover if it was based on a underlying misogyny or if it was just an off the cuff, foot in mouth moment that isn’t representative of their actual character or values. Horrified by the comment section here jumping to conclusions without any context. You’re all just modern idiots with pitchforks and torches going out on a witch hunt.

Obviously nobody cares, just that it's a very common manager personality type. I'm surprised he thought it wouldn't occur to us. But yes, I would like to know how he thinks posts like that make him look and what effect he's trying to have.

Be fair, mate, we're going on an unfunny socially inept loser hunt. Witches are as passe as 90s MRAs. Hope you get a date soon.

@Rcgc The whole point of dating is to find out if you are compatible and see other sides than the carefully controlled side they might choose to share initiallly. Once you get a glimpse of something unsavoury, that is their hidden personality that will come out more and more. That does not appeal to the op. It might appeal to someone else but again that does not mean op should continue. He needs to find someone who finds that acceptable conversation a pick me with poor boundaries.

What I expected was precisely what I got. Which isn’t the type of man so culturally, socially and/or intellectually limited that he thinks ‘whiffy growler’ constitutes humor. He’s actually funny.

You may be under the impression that because you’re surrounded by ‘lads’ that its the norm for us all, but that isn’t the case.

He was binned off by one woman (well that's if she did, presumably she did as she said it gave her the ick) the rest of us weren't dating him.

I don't think that's the kind of comment that someone makes because they misjudged a situation. It's not likely to come out of just anyones mouth.

Yes let's have some empathy for others, the OP said it gave her the ick, that's not something she can help, many of us empathised with her. Where is your empathy for the OP? You now seem to want to make her feel guilty for not wanting to continue with him? You clearly don't have the ability to empathise with women who had a strong reaction to this and who found it disgusting, why are you jumping to conclusions and banging on about pitchforks instead of trying to understand why degrading jokes about women often provoke a strong reaction and trying to show some understanding for why that may be 🤔 Instead you just want empathy for the poor man.

“Let’s have some empathy for others and speak with them about what they said”

✨ No ✨

Oh too much too early. Not sort of thing I’d ever want a partner to say tbh

My ex was looking after my dog for a couple of days whilst I was away. He took the dog into a pub and a bloke recognised it as mine and said "you're still shagging her then"! It's how some men talk but we don't have to like it or put up with it. My ex thought it was funny which reminded me why he's my ex.

Just foul and vulgar, not funny

It’s flattering to be seen as modern, and I don’t mind at all being seen as an idiot if an idiot is a person with boundaries and a decent sense of humour. My DH has been making me laugh for nearly thirty years without once being crude and base about women’s bodies.