To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

He may be testing your 'joke' boundaries and if you let this one go then they'll get more crude. The more invested in the relationship you become the more difficult it becomes to tell him you're not happy with his smutty jokes. This happened to me and for too long I let it go thinking I need to lighten up, it's only a joke. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable and realised how his 'jokes' were either 'blonde' put downs (I'm blonde) or referring to womens bodies. Ugh! And this guy's in his 70s!

For a 5th date no way! Id be hard pushed to laugh at this from my OH, and we had been together for 31 years and both had fairly basic senses of humour. But someone you barely know, definitely not!!
Pity if he's ok in other ways though.

Maybe that's exactly why she posted in this place, because she wanted womens views.

And many women wouldn't want to be with a man who said those things when he was around men all the time either, so overspill makes it sound even worse.

Maybe a class issue to miss quote common people "I can't help it I was brought up this way, my favorite parks are car parks, grass is something you smoke and birds are something you shag". I was a bar person for years and this is just how blokes talk, usually when their partners aren't around. Some of them were the sweetest kindest most generous people I've ever met. They would absolutely do anything for you and I would not hesitate to set them on a date with a single friend. Maybe just a bit of ignorance, set your boundaries, banter for his mates and respect for you! Maybe bringing his "whole self" backfired. I hate that phrase :)

Sounds like a biased sample if these were just regulars at the bar.

Wondering where the OP is and whether she went on the date after all.

Seriously, what on EARTH are you going on about?

As I said, raise your bar. And get back to watching The Inbetweeners, which you clearly find hilarious, judging by the juvenile and puerile words you're using like 'minge' and 'pongy...' Last time I heard words like that used, they came from a 13 year old boy.

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FGS 🙄

Maybe so, over a quite a few years and a broad age range but the same area, similar socio economic group as well. Maybe its a regional thing??

The OP has to remember that this place is likely full of females, therefore the view is always slightly bias.

Dear God. What pod do these guys spontaneously generate from and can we cork it up?

yes - an obviously OP doesn't share his, hence he's probably not the right man for her...

Right, well your response implied that because the OP didn't like that particular comment that that meant she didn't value a sense of humour and can't take a joke.

It's good to remember the bias though, do you not agree?

I remember the dating days, they would only last 4 weeks, then I'd get rid of them and be honest about it why. Mainly because they just had nothing going for them, a dead end job, no drive for betterment (education or travel), reaching aged 40 with a couple of children to different parents, therefore just existing, a slow march to death.

For me, if people didn't like how I was, or what I said. I would just move along to the next one until I found my "one". My "one" was a mum to 3 children. Together, with the blended family we have 5 children 🤣.

It'll be good to see her dating history, how many get to date 5...

Women often only want womens opinions on dating men seeing as they're the ones who understand the issues and dynamics from a womens perspective. I don't think 'bias' needs to be pointed out unless you think people are stupid. I don't think women who turn to women for advice forget that it's just women that they turn to for advice......

I also don't think that the men who post on MN are in any way indicative of the rest of the male population if she did want a male opinion.

Oh and I'm not sure why you just gave me your dating history, I didn't ask and it's not in any way relevant. 🤔 I do know that many women on here including myself would dump a man immediately if we found out he posted on MN, so I see your little list there about all the women who were less than you that you dumped (in your imagination) but I can assure that you wouldn't exactly be seen as a catch yourself.

"are people stupid?"

Yeah, some people are and i've met some really stupid people.

I think we're going back to these days with your views about "men" posting here 🤣 ~ Link

They're probably the type who grew up with On the Buses type humour and are stuck in the past. Old fossils!

Well I'm sure some stupid women really appreciated you mansplaining to them how MN is mainly full of women posting. How clever and observant you are.

What an asset to the site you are.

Thank God we have a man (well, a load, actually) here to remind us that it's mostly "full of females" and therefore isn't the perfectly objective place of blind justice where he presumably spends the rest of his time. I don't know about you but I totally forgot, what with my female brain being full of frills, lace and menstrual blood. Now they have spoken, I totally realise we should be accepting of disgusting unfunny jokes that repel us. I have been corrected. I have seen the light.

Do you think there might be anyone else who has forgotten it's mostly "full of females" here and therefore needs to be bored into submission?

Not really a term that I use or understand, however thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Hopefully the Op returns one day and gives us an update on how things went.

What do you mean, back to these days? You never left them. You don't even talk like a modern MRA, you sound like the ones from 1996 and you can't even try to be funny. If he weren't dead I'd think you were my dad. I would ask if you could hear yourself but I know you can't.

Ah 1996, the good old days of dark night clubs, sticky carpets and large warehouse raves.

Thanks for taking the time to reply and post. Have a good day.

And MRAs who thought this kind of thing was the height of great wit even though there's literally no joke in it.

I'll give my dad this, he was also hugely threatened by female-oriented spaces, thought they needed supervision and correction, called women "females" like they were prize sows and thought they needed to have it explained to them that their spaces, and they themselves, weren't perfectly objective in every way (thank God you're here).... but he was sometimes funny.

The only funny thing about these ones that post on MN is the tall tale that all of them tell about how they had to fend off all the unsuitable women who were beneath them until they found the perfect one for them 😂

Unsure what you mean, however thanks for breaking my shift up.

That's ace, thanks 🫡.

I describe it as wanting to buy a car. You want a car, but you don't know which one. You don't really have a max budget, so you test drive alot of cars!

Some cars are high maintenance costs, they attractive, a Buggati etc. Some are really reliable, but not very attractive, like a Dacia...

Eventually, you work out what you want, or don't want....