To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

It appears your you're not "educated enough" to use basic spelling and grammar correctly, or to clarify who you're addressing in this nonsensical post.

You’re*

Ah! Now I do recognize the ‘no, you!’ rebuttal from childhood, up there with ‘my mum says you’re just jealous’ as a sophisticated comeback for seven year olds.

If you truly cannot conceive of this not being someone’s normal experience, or you’re under the impression that standards are nothing more than an affectation then well, like I said, we have very different lives and values.

I’m not sure why you’re assuming expertise on the subject of ‘class’ (still just standards!) as if you’ve ever familiarized yourself with the concept. Not that it has to be beyond you - keep on following that yellow brick road, Dorothy, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get there in the end.

Oh yes of course she shouldn't trust her own feelings and gut or the opinions of women ad she should go and ask some other men 😂 I'm astounded you would suggest that.

You'd banter back and then later on say you don't like that sort of thing? That's just weird. Why encourage behaviour you don't like only to tell him later you didn't like it?

If that's his attempt at connection then God help him. Maybe he should go and speak to some women he knows and ask how he should connect with women.

And she would also have decided you weren't worth having in the first place.
A woman dumping a man doesn't mean she is bullying him 😂😂

What do you mean 'we'? Are you a woman?

There's nothing immature about dumping a man who makes a crass comment, and i highly doubt that any man making comments like that treats any woman like a queen or fosters an enjoyable masculine/feminine dynamic within a relationship.

In other words the only women who are offended by this must not clean themselves properly? 😂😂

I have no interest in being a cool girl and laughing along with jokes I don't find funny or just ignoring them. I'm not desperate.

Don't tell him why you cancelled. If you tell him he could hide his real views on some poor future date. Let him show everyone the real him and let them decide.

Oh @PebbleBeAPenguin, you’re funny 😁 The Inbetweeners was a comedy. It was popular because the boys reminded many of us of how boys behaved when we were at school in the 90s. They were crass and vulgar and didn’t know how to be attractive to the girls they liked. Yes, we were supposed to be quite fond of the characters in the end, and want them to succeed in their romantic efforts, but they weren’t in any way supposed to represent normal adult men- they were teenagers! No grown woman with any self-respect will be wooed by a Jay Slater making vulgar remarks about clunges and minges.

Men joking about the smell of women’s genitals is misogyny. The intimate areas of human bodies- male or female- will smell unpleasant if not washed properly or if there is infection present. Most women know how to keep their bodies clean. You don’t have to have a ‘whiffy growler’ to find men who make such comments unattractive.

It’s a joke ffs, men are immature anyway. I don’t know what half of you are expecting. If he’s great in all other ways and has said one thing for a joke… it’s a joke.. it’s a JOKE . . after a few dates loosen up a little, a relationship/ dating doesn’t have to be all newspaper and slippers already. Yes it sounds abit vile, If you don’t like it tell him, if things have been great upto now surely if he’s ok to say words like that you’re ok to tell him you don’t like words like that. Or be even more disgusting and put back there no chance of having a clean growler in this weather 🤣 see what his reaction is. It’s banter. If you can’t have a laugh move on to the next. I’d hate to have someone so serious.

Had to look that one up...its low class...it won t get better

It certainly doesn't have to be all newspapers and slippers, I'd actually like to remain attracted to the man I was with, which I wouldn't be if he made such crass 'jokes'....therefore the relationship would end up as newspapers and slippers.

I've seen some videos of couples who talk to each other like this and it is definitely not my idea of fun or banter.

You'd hate to have someone so serious, and plenty of us would hate to have a man who said things like that, there is someone out there for everyone and we're not all going to like the same people.

No don t agree with your comment
.. but..is he a builder ..then thats what you get

If you have to tell people it's funny, then it's not funny.

But wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with someone you actually like/are on the same level as? Rather than ask someone to change themselves (and their skanky sense of humour) for you? Which let's face it, will never work forever. There will always be more jokes like it!

The fact she’s asking in here shows she’s not going to go on another date, Ever in doubt throw it out. So if she’s doubting it already then not to go on it.
and yes they clearly arnt on the same level are they.

@Homesweethome93 Can you explain the joke? I don’t get it.

I've never had a man talk to me like that ever.

They may talk about my vagina but in a sexy way, they certainly don't make crass jokes, so I definitely wouldn't be expecting that.

Sorry - but I thought this was hilarious! For me, having a sense of humour is a must. If you are so easily offended and don't get a joke, he's probably not the man for you...

Oh yes, having a sense of humour is a must @thedyslexicmothership, I agree. It’s more important than looks to me and it’s why I find men like Sean Lock and Rik Mayall attractive. Jim Davison and Roy Chubby Brown not so much.

Do you know that there are different kinds of humour or were you not aware of that very obvious fact?

I didn’t get the joke @thedyslexicmothership- can you explain it?

That’s a truly awful thing to say. I’d be really upset that he was trying to tell me he finds me smelly. I’d be way too self conscious to want to be intimate with him again regardless of how clean I was. id also not want to be with someone who thinks it’s ok to say things like that after a few dates; I’m not sure I’d even be happy with my husband saying it!!

Op hasn't been back

The OP has to remember that this place is likely full of females, therefore the view is always slightly bias.

4 dates completed, into the 5th. He's made it so far, however made a joke which was taken badly. At this stage, you don't really know each other, therefore poor alignment at times can be expected.

If he's great in all others areas, you could just tell him during the date that you didn't like the joke. Let him explain the background or dig a hole.

He probably spends all day talking men-to-men, therefore an over spill.

If you simply said, I need to delay due to getting a shower and you've promised / discussed staying over, then I can see where the comment has come from.

I'm 4 years into a relationship, she'll let me know when she wants sex. She'll get a shower before bed...

Christ Chester I have a shower every night before bed! But not necessarily a shag.