Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

[Pinkie89]

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

Assuming he has parental responsibility, he can do as he thinks best when he has his child with him. You have no say.

Did he use the wording about taking it slow to the child, or just to you? If he just introduced them to your child as a friend, then they probably won't think that deeply about it? I don't think you can do anything about it.

Because he lied to my face about the situation.

But he’s your ex. He doesn’t have to tell you anything about his life.

I agree, what he does isn’t my business...until it involves my son and then it absolutely is my business.

Why are you following your ex on insta?

I don't think it's an issue introducing 'friends' to children, non single people do it all the time. I'd hope they're not making him uncomfortable by being all over each other, but other than that Mummy & Daddy are allowed to have friends.

its not unusual for a 7yo to still sometimes miss a pet they were fond of, it's unfortunate, but it could have just as easily been a neighbour's or friends that have moved away.

He doesn't owe you anything re his personal life.

So it’s ok for him to lie about situations involving my son? Personally I don’t think it’s ok to lie in any situation, especially when it involves my son.

The child is his son as much as yours. It’s not any of your business who your ex is seeing or whenever he chooses to introduce her to his son, etc. These things are his business, not yours.

It's his son too. I get why you're pissed off but you can't do anything so let it go.

It's none of your business.

In the best interest of a child you/he shouldn't be introducing them to partners until a year into a relationship.

But you chose to have a child with this guy so there's not a lot you can do if he chooses to do this.

Yes, he can do as he thinks best while caring for his son. Just as you can do what you think best while you care for him.

He's only lying because you're interrogating him. It's not your right to know who he's dating or who he's introducing his son to as it's no business of his who your son spends time with when he's with you.

I do understand why you are annoyed, it is too soon to be introducing random girlfriends.

But DS is his son too, not just yours. I haven't had direct experience of co-parenting but I thought that unless a Court has said otherwise both parents have equal rights? So within reason what he does on his time is up to him.

Because of some dogs and cats?

So your child misses the dogs of woman he met a couple of times two years ago??

There are many reasons why kids shouldn't be introduced to new partners too early, but this is really scraping the barrel I'm afraid.

It’s definitely not a friend. It’s gone from being a friend he’s taking things slow with, to something that’s going to last long term in the space of half an hour… which would obviously be less concerning if it were true.

If the shoe was on the other foot and I introduced him to every guy I dated I would fully expect his dad to be concerned.

It actually sounds like he's being very honest and not lying to you? If he first said they are friends (maybe they were) and then said they are taking it slow, he's being very open with you rather than waiting to tell you when he's deep into a relationship. Not that he has to tell you anyway.
You said he did it before, but that the child is asking about the dogs 2 years later, so if this is the second girlfriend in 2 years that's not constantly introducing lots of partners.

If you posted about that scenario on here you would probably be told by many that he was jealous and controlling...

Ultimately, hes an adult making choices. Not the same as yours but that's his choice.

I know its uncomfortable but its how it is.

There’s really nothing you can do about this. Best to take a step back and realise that he will do what he wants in his own time with your son. I try to make sure my kids know I have their back as some of my ex husband’s decisions have been questionable.

Why would it be less concerning??

Honestly, either way it really doesn't matter. People come & go in kids lives & they get on with it. Just concentrate on your relationship with your son being strong & stable & let your Ex get in with his life & his relationship with his son.

if your son starts being unhappy to go there, then you help him navigate that, but until then there's nothing you need to do.