Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

[Pinkie89]

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

He clearly hasn’t. How is it in the best interests of my son to introduce him to the girl he’s known and been dating 2 weeks? Enlighten me please.

As for dealing with the split, I ended it, I asked him to move out.. 6 years ago. And there really wasn’t much to get over! It wasn’t a loss to me.

Exactly what I think - at 7 surely he takes that she's her dad's 'friend' at face value, so what does it matter how long the dad has been seeing her? Yes if this was going on every week then it's not great, but it doesn't seem like it is. Like a PP said people come and go in kid's lives anyway, the same as with adults. That's just life, so from what the OP has said this doesn't seem like a big deal.

My ex follows me on insta, he likes my posts of my son (and vice versa although he posts about once a year!) and sends me random videos occasionally. I’m not sure why he’d disapprove of me following him. There’s been no reason to not follow him, we share a son and both like to see what he gets up to when he’s not with. It’s as simple as that, there’s really no big drama or ulterior motive.

I’m really surprised grown adults can’t see how 2 parents can maintain a friendship following a breakup without one being in love or a jealous ex.

At 7 they know more than you would think. Dad has also told him he has sleepovers at her house.. why I don’t know!

My son has spent 2 Saturdays in a row with her.. after 2 weeks of dating, if that’s how it’s started I’d imagine it’ll continue.

He can introduce his child to whoever he wants

You might not like that but it’s reality. You do need to get over it.

In the 6 years since you split up, assuming he's had contact with his son during that time, has his dad ever done anything to cause you to worry that he's not looking after him properly? Does he come home happy, fed, clean & rested?

Fuming at him won’t make him change behaviour just helps him prove to the girlfriends you’re a crazy ex.
a calm child focused email with the help of chat gpt about the impact you worry this could have on child and some suggestions of boundaries you can both agree for people you date would be the only thing that might has an impact.
legally you have no say so don’t waste your energy on this.

My son is three and still asks for his dad’s ex girlfriend and her child who he hadn’t seen for over a year. My ex moved in with them a few months after our son was born then they broke up a few months later. Awful decision for both of them (probably worse on her daughter as she was there more and older)

Do you have two sons? Otherwise, this isn't making sense. However, @Pinkie89 's ex isn't cohabiting with his GF. Ofcourse, rapid breakdown of a living together arrangement isn't good for children but introducing them to people you have a relationship with - whether friends or lovers - is not the same. I often spent consecutive Saturdays with my closest friend. As I said previously, unless they are being inappropriately intimate infront of the child, I don't see the problem.

You don't come across like a jealous ex at all. I have a similar relationship with my ex and neither of us is jealous or looking to get back together. We have separated (many years ago), resolved any feelings we may once have had for each other and remained friendly to make co-parenting easier.

I completely agree with you objecting to introducing a new partner so quickly too. Co-parenting isn't two sets of different rules and no-one ever communicating about what they are. In my opinion...it is two parents who communicate to establish as consistent an approach as possible, including how new partners are introduced. I would not introduce a new partner without discussing it with the other parent and vice versa. And by discussing, I don't mean ask permission. I mean agreeing a timeline and an approach that has been thought through so that kids are consistently supported in both households.