Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

[Pinkie89]

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

Where's the relevance to Sarah's law?

The father of OP's child didn't leave the child alone with a stranger, did he? He just allowed the two to interact under his supervision. That's normal, perfectly responsible parental behaviour.

Exactly. Why lie. You make a decision, live with it and standby it.

I’ve only reacted this way because he introduced her to my son after knowing her for all of 2 weeks. He’s lied because he knows that’s wrong. If it was a long term relationship I’d have no problem. I have encouraged him to meet someone, I want him to be happy.

Jesus christ, what a loser. Agree his behaviour sucks all round but there's nowt you can do. Hope she has sense and doesn't have a kid with him. You're obviously super protective of your little chap and want to create as much stability for him as possible. Just don't forget your own peace.

He had known her 2 weeks.. how do you know they weren’t alone together in his flat last weekend, when he was cooking tea or he went to the bathroom (it had been 3 weeks by that point). Where did she sleep in his one bed flat?!

Do you trust him to keep your child safe fed ect? If yes he can have as many friends as he likes. Children can learn people come into our lives and leave. If he is moving women in and out on a whim its not ok but if it was a male friend would you be bothered?

How do you know they were? That's all conjured up in your head.

Thank you 🥰 My peace went a long time ago. Perimenopause doesn’t help.. I’m ready to attack at any given moment 😅

His time with his son is something you don’t have a say in. Unless there is a safeguarding issue (which there isn’t). You can’t police what he does just because you don’t like it

I don’t, and I didn’t say I did know?

The point was that the person who said that comment doesn’t know they weren’t.

So if you don't know, what was the point of your comment?

Yes he didnt move her in he introduced them what is the issue and what does Sarah's law have to do with it?

Women do this all the time with new men

I don’t entirely trust him no. I trust he wouldn’t intentionally harm him, but I don’t trust his judgement on things like this and leaving him alone etc.

I wouldn’t question any true friend. But this isn’t a friend.

I said the point of my comment in my reply to you.

Then you shouldn't have had a child with him.

But since you did, you have to accept he has parental responsibility when he is looking after the child and that includes whether he decides to allow a girlfriend over at the same time as he has his child over.

Hi Op,

I think its clear to see here, certain people have certain motivations. Your motivation is protecting your son. That can never be wrong, jealousy, overstepping, interfering are irrelevant when this is about his safety and wellbeing.

Good luck x

Ignore the arseholes on the thread. It’s Saturday and they’re lonely and frustrated.

I’d be annoyed too in your shoes. Presumably, he’s interviewing new women as surrogate mums to save him the effort of parenting alone, so that’s why he’s introducing them so early. It’s what the majority of newly single dads seem to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So why have a child with him?

You don’t get to dictate what he does though. You can fester and froth about this all you like, you will achieve nothing.

She didn’t ask if she could stop him. She asked if she was BU to think it was abnormal and concerning.

It’s obviously concerning. Judging by some of the comments on this thread, it isn’t particularly abnormal.

I'm confused, or maybe I've missed something. What was it about the Instagram post that indicated that this relationship is now seen as long term and serious?

You’re saying her child’s safety is the important thing in the world, and must be protected at any cost? What dramatic nonsense.

Well maybe butt out of asking your EX personal questions about his life he has no duty to answer and he wouldn’t feel the need to “lie” because he doesn’t want to answer.

Yes, your son’s life is your business. His dad’s life isn’t. Nor is it your business what his dad does as the equal partner when he’s being the main parent.

safeguarding? Who do you get permission from before introducing your children to people?

Thank you 🙏 I’m really shocked by some of these replies. How can some women turn a blind eye to the care of their child just because they’re not physically with them at the time. Like the moment my son leaves me I’m meant to not give a damn? That’s insane to me!

Yes it would have been nice to have been told. I’m surprised he didn't tell me the truth but I think he probably knows it’s too early for them to have met.

Fully agree I can’t control or stop him and I don’t intend to, it’s already happened. I have raised my concerns with him and he’s changing his story about who this girl is. I don’t like the lies, that makes me uncomfortable.

You have to have very poor critical thinking skills to not see the inference in a question 'is this abnormal and concerning' is 'and that he should not do it'.

OP's follow on posts very clearly indicate she wants to make her ex not introduce girlfriends in the same way.