AIBU to think parents drinking heavily on a kids rugby tour is inappropriate?

[phoenix72]

I am currently on my DS's (11) weekend long rugby tour. It's the third day and I am thoroughly pissed off with alcohol being the focus rather than the kids or the rugby. The evening activities have been focused around drinking games (yesterday this was after a beach barbecue where the majority of parents were drinking) and the worst was the 'kangaroo court' last night where any perceived 'silly behaviour' or slight 'infraction' over the past rugby season by a parent resulted in taking a shot or downing a drink. Parents were penalised for their own actions and for their kids. By about 7pm most adults were so drunk they couldn't find their caravans, let alone their kids.

Most parents have been too hung over to spend time with the kids in the day or do any kid-friendly activities. In the afternoons and evenings they have been too drunk to look after their kids. This is not a one off - my DS has been to tour with three different rugby clubs and each one has been the same when it comes to tour.

AIBU to think this behaviour is highly inappropriate and irresponsible, and that it teaches the kids that getting completely wasted several nights in a row is acceptable?

Ours were like this too. I didn’t tend to go , it was more “lads and dads” but the alcohol was insane.

I remember just seeing the coach on the way down to Bristol one year which was full of boxes of beer! I shuddered. DS (18yo) survived (but doesn’t drink!).

I am really surprised at the number of people disagreeing with the OP on this. It sounds fucking horrendous, even if there weren’t kids there with them. Being bullied in to taking shots?! Seriously?? Sounds like my worst nightmare. I don’t mind a drink, I don’t mind getting a bit tipsy but this is a whole other level of bad behaviour!

You back now?

Did they win the tournament??

They came third out of 12, so not too bad at all thanks. The one saving grace of the weekend.

how were the coaches?

One of the coaches started the taunting when I refused the shots. Immediately joined by the other coach and team manager.

This isn’t the club for you!

So will you be going for a 4th club?

I think tour isn't for me. The club have been fantastic other than this. My son loves the team so I can't leave, and this is the third team with the same tour mentality, so at this point I have to concede that it's sadly commonplace. I am disgusted with the behaviour, and think the parents and coaches should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves, but there's been a lot of messages on the team chat about how they've pulled off "another awesome" tour, so there doesn't seem to be a shred of shame there.

I am completely baffled at how this weekend can be called successful in any way, other than they had another year where they could get absolutely shitfaced and palm their kids off to another parent. I will be complaining at the highest level I can, but I can't see it getting anywhere as the culture seems to be engrained.

I am exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically, and have to go back to work tomorrow after a hellish weekend. So, for all of you that told me to "lighten up, it's just a bit of fun" - you are a huge part of the problem. Selfish, arrogant, and completely unaware of the hell you put other people through so you can have some "light relief" at the cost of the real parents who had to pick up your slack for a whole weekend, and the staff at the site who have to tolerate witnessing your behaviour, cleaning up after you and keeping an eye on your kids while you're too busy getting hammered.

But yes, clearly I'm just too "uptight".

Idiots.

Can his dad take him in future?

No, I'm a single parent.

Pretty soon he’ll be of an age when parents don’t need to attend.

mine didn’t even at 11!

I agree with you OP. The alcohol culture is so ingrained here, esp with sports like this, that people genuinely can’t see it. And they think that people like you are ‘uptight’. They are wrong, and are bringing up a generation with the same unhealthy mentality, where they cannot enjoy themselves without getting blind drunk.

I'm speechless. That's just shocking and so, so, so wrong.

Yeah that’s not a good influence OP.

Tbh I feel like any benefits your son gets from being involved in this team sound like they are likely to be undermined by being in an environment with adults who are such dicks.

Totally agree op

it’s actually so embarrassing and dated they way the rugby people behave