AIBU to think parents drinking heavily on a kids rugby tour is inappropriate?

[phoenix72]

I am currently on my DS's (11) weekend long rugby tour. It's the third day and I am thoroughly pissed off with alcohol being the focus rather than the kids or the rugby. The evening activities have been focused around drinking games (yesterday this was after a beach barbecue where the majority of parents were drinking) and the worst was the 'kangaroo court' last night where any perceived 'silly behaviour' or slight 'infraction' over the past rugby season by a parent resulted in taking a shot or downing a drink. Parents were penalised for their own actions and for their kids. By about 7pm most adults were so drunk they couldn't find their caravans, let alone their kids.

Most parents have been too hung over to spend time with the kids in the day or do any kid-friendly activities. In the afternoons and evenings they have been too drunk to look after their kids. This is not a one off - my DS has been to tour with three different rugby clubs and each one has been the same when it comes to tour.

AIBU to think this behaviour is highly inappropriate and irresponsible, and that it teaches the kids that getting completely wasted several nights in a row is acceptable?

Oh it’s not great that for sure
but not something I’d get too exercised about if a short while later he was sideline and rooting on the team

Yanbu OP this is horrendous. No idea why anyone is defending parents being so pissed they can't put their kids to bed, it's neglectful. I can remember finding it mildly frightening when adults were drunk when I was a child. As for that court incident, honestly words fail me

Can’t stand Pisshead Parents. I’d give them a wide berth if I were you. Grim indeed!

What a sad attitude.....would it not be nice for the parents to spend some quality time with their kids at a KIDS event, rather than selfishly sitting around hungover leaving them to fend for themselves!

TOTALLY inappropriate! Adults should not be drunk in charge of kids.Who is organising this thing?! Are there not professional coaches involved or is it just an informal club run by the parents or something?

I was wondering this!

I personally wouldn’t have my kids anywhere near all this revolting behaviour!!!

you say this is the 3rd club/tour??? Why are you putting your child and yourself thru this??

I do not miss rugby parents. Biggest load of twats I’ve ever met.

I’m quite honestly sick of British drinking altogether. I Get it, I used to drink too and remember wanting to for any occasion. Since I’ve stopped drinking I’ve realised how bloody obsessed everyone is with alcohol. It seems constant! And so many days out etc structured entirely on alcohol. It’s so empty of meaning.

No wonder the country is overweight, depressed and sick.

Except she absolutely is a better parent than them because of that…

It’s not safe for the kids, it’s a terrible sporting culture and any school my kids went to I’d expect them to express their disappointmet very clearly and shut thetripsdown

I really don't like this behaviour. I've had many experiences where I've been out without kids and other parents who are pissed are neglecting there kids so they end up talking to other adults. Safeguarding aside, this really annoys me. I'm out for a night away from my own kids, I don't want to then have to babysit your kids! I have been in the type of world you describe growing up and I really didn't like it as a kid. Yes I was vulnerable and yes it had consequences.

They sound like 18yo's on their first trip away! Seriously! And the replies on here. 'Kids sport is boring so you need a drink' 'lighten up' etc. I'd not want to be around any of them either OP. And the poor kids must be cringing at their parents thinking they're cool, playing drinking games and getting shit-faced.

Yes I get what you mean. You end up babysitting everyone else’s children instead of spending time with your own! I think you’ll have to just walk them all back to their parents caravans and tell them to stay with them. The only alternative would be to stop going to these things.

Yes she is better than them because she is able to not only parent her child, but their children too. Parents need to save getting hammered for appropriate times e.g when they have a baby sitter or one parent doesn’t drink. Why should OP be responsible for all their children who are knocking on her caravan door asking for help?! Why can’t people just have a couple of low alcoholic drinks? Why can’t they control how many they have instead of vomiting then collasping?! It’s truly sad to be that selfish. You cannot be wasted and actively parent. Competent parents can see it and absolutely judges them for being “that parent.”

I agree. The pissed up parents don’t care their kids look to the sober ones for safety in these situations. I think a lot of these rugby parent types gravitate towards each other because other people drinking a lot legitimises their behaviour. The worst people I’ve ever had the misfortune to spend time with.

I’d say she is a much much better parent and person than them actually, being too drunk to supervise your kids at a team sports trip is bad parenting as well as generally poor adulting, I would never want my kids that age even around drunk adults.

That's exactly what I thought as I was reading it.

The "kangaroo court" has always been a feature of adult rugby tours, but they seem to have completely forgotten that they're to make sure the kids are ok, not to act as though it's the adults that are on tour.

A very poor example to be so drunk amongst children as to render yourself useless in an emergency.

Maybe suggest four parents each night to be under .02 (legal driving) - everyone taking their turn?

@Hassell shit parenting is shit parenting, and no amount of squealing at the sideline would compensate.

Yep, crap if consistent. One off…. Pretty pants but hopefully vommed and then got stuck in

No, she's not spoken to me. In fact, she seems to be avoiding me, which isn't surprising. I'll speak to her quietly after tour.

This is being run by the club. The coaches and manager have organised the tour and all the 'fun activities' .

I’ve seen multiple MN threads where people say that one parent must remain sober at all times and you can’t have a drink together ever in case kids need driving to hospital.

Now this thread where (according to some) apparently a weekend is boring if you can’t get falling down drunk and sod looking after your kids because 11 year olds (and younger siblings) should be independent.

In my world most parents are perfectly capable of having 2 or 3 drinks at an evening bank holiday barbecue, having a nice time while ensuring their kids are ok, and not aiming to get as drunk as possible or act like a twat. It’s not that difficult.

My son was so excited to go away with his teammates to play the sport he is passionate about. I was hoping this team would be different to the others, but clearly it's worse.

My dc do rugby too and this is my experience too. Parents don’t go.