To think being single is not all it's cracked up to be

[BrokenWingsCantFly]

I see a post every day that makes me think "thank god I am single and don't have to deal with that". But really, people only post when they are feeling down dont they? I assume the majority of relationships / marriages are ticking along nicely, but no one is going to post about how happy and content they are, so we only read about 1 side.

I'm here now on a Friday night doing DIY alone, in the hope of selling my house in a few months. This has stirred a few thoughts. Firstly, if I was in a relationship, then like in previous relationships, I would have someone to do fun things with tonight instead of this. Then, if i had found my person years ago, we would be doing the DIY together as a joint gain. Or they would be doing it like many relationships. Then, when it comes to buying i have a decent budget but just think about how many more options I would have if I had a partner on a similar salary with a similar deposit.

It feels sometimes like trying to live life with 1 hand tied behind your back. No matter how strongly independent you feel, life would be easier with a partner. There is no safety net, which terrifies me often, if I loose my job, even for a month or 2 I would really struggle as no one else is going to pick up the bills for a while.

I'm 38 so no spring chicken. Growing up i assumed everyone just met their person and got married and life just worked out. Luckily I know a couple of other successful beautiful women my age who have also been unlucky in love, so feel less odd or alone in this

It just feels like no matter what I achieve in life. I could achieve more with a supportive partner by my side

I'm sitting here at 6am on a Sunday morning - a time most would say should be peaceful.
Instead I've got my dh speaking at me - and I do mean at bombarding me with trivial bullshit before I've opened my eyes and had a single sip of coffee.

I've had enough. Out soon.

I'm staying single thank you very much.
I prefer living in my small flat alone than sharing a mansion with a partner.

Not always choice. Many of us just making the best of the hand we were dealt.

If you are with the right partner, it’s great to be part of a loving and supportive relationship.

If it’s not the right partner, then that’s a whole new ball game.

There are many, many happy couples, but people only tend to post about relationships that are going wrong, which gives an unbalanced view on forums like this.

Completely agree.

The fact that marriage mixes financial and emotional objectives means confusion about how “happy” people are. It’s very hard to decouple the two.

In many cases women are better off in marriages financially than they are single. In my view from an emotional standpoint women are often sold out in marriages: marriages benefit men more than women in terms of the way domestic labour is allocated etc.

I personally am far happier unmarried than I was married. I hated being married. I felt stifled, controlled and bored. Yes I was in a bad marriage but the whole institution felt like a weight which I couldn’t shift.

It may be different for others. But I am significantly happier single.

Not all partners are a pain in the arse. But I've decided not to bother looking for one of those. Too many arse pains out there. I'm very happy not being in a relationship

I only have to read some of the posts on here most days to say that I don't think marriage/long term relationships are all they're cracked up to be either.

I've been both and I am much better off in all ways by being single.

You are allowed as an individual to prefer being in a relationship.

Equally other people are perfectly happy and/or prefer being single.

I am middle aged and much, much happier on my own. Definitely a choice for me and I would never consider living with or sharing finances with a man (too many bad experiences) and I like my freedom and peace too much.