To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

Do you know what he's doing in there? He might be taking steps to help him last longer when he joins you.... IYSWIM.

Doesn't he wash after going to the loo?

Are you suggesting he is having a wank in there or actually using the loo?

Do you mean he’s doing a poo?

If he's having a poo does he not shower after if he's going to have sex?!

Yeah girl, we need to know what he is doing in the toilet

Is there a smell after? If so, yanbu

Otherwise he could just be freshening up? x

Sorry, yes I meant he is using the loo (no.2) and openly says he is making sure he isn’t bloated. He doesn’t shower after, no.

Ffs, so what?? I can't imagine being told when I can go to the loo
Just mind your own business

Hmmm, I wouldn't be too keen on this OP.
Chuck him a couple of Rennie's just before you go up, they'll disperse any bloating 👌

Not ideal I would feel the same op.. hard to feel intimate then..

As a bloke, if I need/half need to have a poo, I'm not going to be relaxed enough to enjoy sex. And I'd be more likely to fart....

Presumably he wipes his bum and washes his hands afterwards?

And they say romance is dead 😂

Can he not have a shower?

"Excuse me darling I am just going to slip out something uncomfortable." 😂

I wouldn’t feel like having sex if I needed a poo so perfectly reasonable he wants to poop first. Presumably he is wiping his bum? I don’t see the issue here. Do you shower after pooping or hold in your bodily functions until after sex? Sounds uncomfortable!

He can't help needing the loo but he needs to shower afterwards, otherwise you are at a higher risk of a water infection.

Yabu wanting to dictate when he shits.
Yanbu to expect him to have a quick shower afterwards if he wants some hanky panky.

How? I think I'm doing sex wrong!

The pooing, fine. The not washing after is a hard no for me though.

I already feel sorry for the child you are yet to conceive. Not because of your issue with your husbands toilet habits but more the need to post it on the internet

He should shower. I’m guessing he doesn’t use a bidet shower or bum gun?

Change the time of your shag, if him having a poo beforehand upsets you so much. It's not like he's having a shit then wiping his bum on the bedsheets, is it? You can't dictate to his gastro-intestinal tract what time he needs to have his bowels open. If it's always evening, initiate a morning shag instead - although you'll probably be put off by morning breath and fusty genitals. Poor man.

In case you’ve missed it, this is an anonymous forum.

Its literal reason for existence is to post about things you may not want to discuss in real life.

Wha??

Why is her not wanting to have sex with someone with bad breath and fusty genitals a bad thing?

It's not very sexy is it? I'd find that off putting too. I guess he can't choose when he needs the loo, but it's not particularly appealing as a precursor to intimacy.