To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

No, but if I'm going to have sex I shower! I would never have a poo and then go to have sex without showering in the meantime

Unless he was using the en-suite and letting stink enter the bedroom I cannot see the issue.

All this about water infections if your partner has a poo before sex just seems ridiculous too, I mean I’d expect him to be capable of cleaning his bum!

Not immediately after a poo, no. But in between a poo and sex? Yes, always shower!

I’m with OP, I’d find it gross too

No it’s not (we don’t have one), but the bathroom is next door.

Oddly the tip of my dh penis is nowhere near his bumhole…not even on the same side of his body, one bit’s on the front the other on the backside…
when dtd to ttc there’s no need to involve the bumhole.
dh showers lots, after a poo? No wiping is fine. Maybe it’s the super thick Costco toilet paper we use?
e-coli from poop to HANDS, to vagina, key is handwashing not showering.
like others I must be dtd wrong.

Everyone should have a shower after a poo if they’re going to have sex 🤢

Sex at the end of the day without a shower oh god no.

Just the thought of him peeing all day and need even giving it a rinse under the tap fills me with the willies.

I’m pretty sure that means your own poo and own urinary tract and is why we’re advised to wipe from front to back.

I don't know about bum holes but when I have sex I like faces to be fairly close to genitals and genitals are pretty close to bum holes - I don't want either me or my partner to be up close with an unwashed bum hole. And before people complain - yes I do know how to wipe my bum and no, wiping is NEVER as clean as a wash.

Either he shits and you hold back on the rimming, or he doesn't and you hold back on the pegging.

👏🏻👏🏻 Howling at this 😂

Can he poo on command? I am marvelling at the scheduled shits. If this man could have periods he'd get it all put of the way on the weekend. What else can he do?
Or does he have such a backlog (I'm sorry) that he can go whenever because he's full of it?
It would be like telling me I'm about to do a long car journey so I need to go to the loo now. I'd sit there completely unable to go until the following afternoon. No long car journey or ttc for me!

It's clearly working then.

@Woompund faces to genitals won’t help you conceive.
key here is piv.

I'd at least expect him to shower after having a no.2 if sex was on the agenda

As long as he washes his hands I dont really see the issue. People have to poop

😂😂😂

Apparently there's some people that can do this, I first read about it on a thread or some social media page about whether someone would poo on a night out and many people said no, that's weird, they'd just make sure they went before they went out!

Nobody wants to have sex with someone will smelly breath and sweaty genitals, I simply meant that by the sounds of it, there will always be a reason not to want to shag, hence the poor man comment.

Might I be so bold as to suggest the equivalent of a penis beaker for your reassurance and hygiene OP? I give you... the bum hole beaker ©

Unless you are mandating shower pre sex, I dont see what the difference is doing a poo and wiping your bum 10 mins before sex or 10 hours before sex.
And the one who mostly needs to shower is actually the woman because the way the male genitals lie they are far away from the no 2 dispensing hole but on a women it's all a lot closer hence risk of UTI

'shit your guts out'

My life, romance ain't dead yet is it

You’re not being unreasonable at all. My DH has done this too. Does my head in. It just makes me feel, like, ugh. Pooing is not attractive 😂
Obv we all do it, but it’s not what I want to be thinking of before trying to get in the mood. I’m 100% with you. I mean, he can’t control when he has to go, I guess. Maybe try having sex at a different time?

After reading this thread, I'd be amazed if most posters wanted to have sex again, ever! 😆