To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

I love the way you have copyrighted this! 😂

People say the birth rate is falling because of the economy, but after reading this thread I think it's because half the population seem to shit all over themselves when using the toilet.

The couple is trying to conceive - I'm confident you don't normally conceive by playing a female face near male genitals....

Him pooing wouldn't put me off, but him arriving in the bedroom trousers around ankles openly announcing that he's no longer bloated would really kill the moment for me.

Don't be so silly.

Everyone posts predicaments on here.

Nobody is going to identify op's partner from this, are they!

Fucking brilliant.
I am crying here. I haven’t laughed properly in months. Thank you

Jesus Christ. I’m amazed people on MN are actually able to have sex, given the obsession with cleanliness and hygiene.

This thread has cracked me up. So funny.

I keep wondering if someone is going to suggest a shared shower as foreplay.

What a staid and boring approach to sex! You don't think women need a warm up even if they are trying to conceive?

Okay yes you’re 100% right then, this is grim.

Can’t he just quickly jump in the shower?

Not until MN had I ever heard that people 'should' shower before sex or abstain after pooing until they'd had a shower. I understand that the thought of 'toilet activities' is not particularly romantic or sexy, but if I understand correctly, some people think you shouldn't have sex in the evening if you defecated at any point in the day after your morning shower? Seems like an awful lot of work, to be honest!

Yes, but that's nothing to do with the penis holder having just had a poo, surely?

Having a quick shower before sex isn't 'a lot of work' and it makes everything a lot nicer for everyone. Do you have sex in the evening after not showering since the morning?!

so you want him to not go to the toilet when he needs to? That’s just weird. It’s not good to ‘ignore the call to stool’ . Why don’t you just get on with something else until he’s ready.

I am with you OP. My DH likes to shit a lot. I know I am very un-mumsnetty about this, and accept he "can't help it" (although, personally, I think he can - I think he's one of those that can go whenever he wants) but I find it a massive turn off. But I also acknowledge I'm probably the one who's uptight. I would suggest he showers before bed regardless of DTD then it will just be a routine and you won't be focused on the pooping.

Have a bidet installed!

🍿

Depends on whether you peg him or not really.

OP, unless you're planning to lick his arsehole - which I get the distinct impression you are not - this really isn't an issue.

I personally would find it more off-putting knowing that my partner needed a shit the whole time we were shagging than I would knowing he'd been to the loo beforehand.

As for people insisting that everyone should shower before sex... I forgot that in the world of Mumsnet, people are meant to scrub down with Dettol and then sanitise any interlocking body parts with antibac wipes before gritting their teeth and suffering through their duty of having to be in contact with another human body.

Seriously, does nobody on this website ever just have a spontaneous shag? I've literally never in my life, when about to have sex with someone, thought 'Hmm, when did they last have a poo? Was his last shit before or after his morning shower?'

Even when TTC sex doesn't just have to be PIV? What's this nonsense about faces won't be near genitals simply because TTC?

Just because it won't get you pregnant, doesn't mean faces / hands / whatever won't be involved in the enjoyment?

Ah yes, unlikely with their own penis.

Toys?

Brilliant post. A number of posters on this thread desperately need to unclench 😆

Some people don’t just skip everything (foreplay wise) just because they are trying to conceive

Well, I don't tend to get that sweaty or dirty during the day, so I don't feel I need a shower, honestly. If I've been doing something sweaty, then I'd have a shower before bed, regardless of anything else.

And I do think showering is a lot of work if I don't need one. Long hair takes some effort to wash and comb, and I need to moisturise my skin... Maybe I'm just lazy, but on the other hand, DH has never seemed to mind!

A 5min shower out of consideration for your partner seems like a lot of work?

If you’re showered in the morning, then presumably went to work and also used the toilet a few times… why would you want sweaty sex? Just hop in the shower before bed.