To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

I mean if you gotta go, you gotta go... and what's in your digestive tract (whichever bit) can absolutely have an effect on a chap's 'mechanics'. Personally I'd wash/shower before engaging in subsequent rumpy pumpy 👍

YANBU. How off-putting! No matter what anyone else says, I would find it a bit grim to shag my DH a few minutes after he's had a shit.

Why does your DH always need a shit just before you have a shag? Very weird timing! 😬

A what?

For goodness sake who needs to talk about when their husband goes to the toilet whether it be with complete strangers or not.

'Rumpy pumpy?' Did you just arrive in a time machine from the 1980s? 😂

Yes 😂😂

Feel free to hide the thread. 🙃

OP does. Why shame her for it?

He can't control his bowel movements, and needing a shit during sex is extremely ill advised. The results could be pretty messy.

Surely it's common for people to use the bathroom before sex? To 'freshen up'? And obviously poo or wee if needed as that area will be being used for something else for the foreseeable.

Well, you have left a very good time there! 😘

@Instinct1 @Carrotsurprise from the NHS website
"Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are usually caused by bacteria from poo entering the urinary tract."

So obviously if he hasn't wiped properly even a microscopic amount of poop can be a problem.

I think I'm doing shitting wrong, because I don't need a full shower afterwards!

You lot shower every time you have a shit?

Always fascinated that there are some people who seem to be able to choose the time of when they go to the toilet!

On nights when you're not going to have sex does he not go to the toilet?

Call me childish but this thread has me in hysterics.

A shower for the bum!

Yeah, is that a thing?

I would shower between shit and sex, so would want my partner to as well.

What about washing his bum?

I just spent 5 minutes trying to work out how you get a water infection from having sex with someone who just had a poo - still no idea!

😆💩

I’d always want to go to the loo before sex if possible - nothing worse than trying to relax and enjoy myself when I’m worried about smelly farts or intestinal pressure down there (or a growing urge to pee). I probably wouldn’t fully shower but deffo a quick wash at the sink to make sure I didn’t whiff afterwards.

He’s making sure that sex isn’t either interrupted or that he releases a stink bomb. That seems rather lovely of him really.

Tell me its not in the en suite!?

It's one thing to take yourself off to the bathroom, quite another to shit your guts out and present yourself for a shag as though you'll be gagging for it after hearing all that.

Brown to pink

I think it's reasonable to use the loo before sex.
It's the not showering or at least washing his bum afterwards that is the problem.