To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

[justabigdisco]

I was woken last night by the bed shaking and my husband heavy breathing. I asked him WTF he was doing and he said ‘just trying to get comfy in bed’ however it was clear he was wanking next to me while I slept. There have been other episodes where I’ve been woken up and thought ‘is he…?’ but never been sure until last night.

I haven’t said anything to him yet but have been thinking about it all day. He has a higher sex drive than me and I know this frustrates him, but AIBU to find it a bit gross and disrespectful?

Why shouldn’t he be comfortable?

He’s a disrespectful pig, sorry.

Woken by him wanking?
Grim.

Because I’m lying there next to him, sleeping?

I think someone carrying out a sexual act in the same bed as you requires consent, he doesn't have yours and that's why you feel off about it

I don't think there is anything wrong with this. Why is it disrespectful? It certainly doesn't make him a pig.

I would have no issue with it at all. We have kids so I wouldn't want him doing it in the shared areas of the house in case they wandered in and I dont particularly want to do it in the en suite so I dont expect him to.

Besides Im asleep and if I wake up its nothing I haven't seen before and no I don't find masterbation gross or disrespectful.

Not unreasonable. I’d be disgusted.

I honestly don't see the problem. It's his bed too, and you were sleeping. But you're bound to get support. People on here seem to think men should hide away in the bathroom like teenage boys.

So he needs her consent to masturbate? Controlling, much?

This - seems grim to me especially if it woke you up.

Wanking is a private encounter.. As in bathroom or home alone...

Can’t be do it in the shower, with the door locked? Then he can clean himself and the sheets stay clean….

You know, everyone has their own boundaries and if it makes you uncomfortable then , it does. I can see both sides. But the bottom line is, does he know you are uncomfortable? The fact he covered it up seems to read that he does .

Exactly this.

Eww 😷

Grim.

YANBU

I think ‘controlling’ is a bit of a stretch. I’m not suggesting that he can’t have a wank, I just don’t want him doing it lying in bed next to me. And especially if it wakes me up.

To be fair, no he doesn’t know that I know / how I feel. I think he was probably too embarrassed to say ‘just having a quick wank dear’

Youre free to like / dislike whatever you chose.

This wouldn't bother everyone tho.

Let the man wank in his own bed, I say.

And that means your husband has your consent which is fine. Not everyone has to consent to the same things and if OP doesn't like it he should respect that

Im sure he can. I wouldn't be getting up to do it at night if I was already in bed.

As you this post has already shown people have very different views. I find some the laungage immature and pretty sexually repressed to be honest. As others find it disgusting and gross.

Clearly you both have different views on sexual expression, boundaries as well as sex drives.

If he's right next to her then yes, he probably does need to check she's ok with it.

I'd watch 😉

And does the same apply the other way around?