To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

[justabigdisco]

I was woken last night by the bed shaking and my husband heavy breathing. I asked him WTF he was doing and he said ‘just trying to get comfy in bed’ however it was clear he was wanking next to me while I slept. There have been other episodes where I’ve been woken up and thought ‘is he…?’ but never been sure until last night.

I haven’t said anything to him yet but have been thinking about it all day. He has a higher sex drive than me and I know this frustrates him, but AIBU to find it a bit gross and disrespectful?

This

That op has a lower sex drive so isn’t up for it as much as him? That his prob done it before without waking her up ?

Apart from the bit about being sent to the bathroom, this seems to be about the size of it.

In my mind wanking is like using toilet - should really be done in private. It creates all kind of thoughts and feelings that are not helpful in a relationship. I bet he would not like waking up seeing you having a wank.

I thought that. Join in, op, you take over, slowly and gently. It could make you feel very sexy, in command and be really nice.

I think it's preferable to wank than go elsewhere, as he can't get enough sex from his wife.

No, it's the kind of thing that should be established in advance. If they have had sex a few times, they should have an idea whether she would be OK with it. It's telling that he felt embarrassed about telling her about it and lied. That tells me he either didn't think she would like it or had no idea.

He shouldn't have done it if he thought she wouldn't like it or just didn't know. There were other options. And given she thinks it's happened before, he had had time to broach the subject. My partner and i have talked about these boundaries and what's OK.

This is where it depends if she is in the mood.

Apologists, lol.

I couldn't get worked up about this. Though I'd definitely nod back off quickly and not let him know I was awake. I can barely be arsed to get involved when I am brimming with energy...middle of the night no chance.

Agree.🙄
Obtuse or what?
The issue is being woken.🙄

Yes it would be. It's her own body and her own choice.

As I say rather than have to ask and get permission or be told to go to the bathroom I would just move into a different bedroom personally.

I think there are a few men on this thread, that have not had a successful relationship with a woman @BettysRoasties @MemorableTrenchcoat

Wtf

Best let the world know I birthed three children though my penis 😂😂

Genuine first man giving birth world record here I come.

Cheap

What on earth makes you say that?

It’s a no from me.

Because clearly only a man could like sex or wanking.

🥱

I had a boyfriend do this and it gave me the ick. We didn’t last long after that.

And I'm out..

As I understand it if OP's H hasnt asked for her consent to masturbate in her prescence then this is technically sexual assault.

Sounds like you need separate bedrooms.

I am the partner with the lower sex drive in our marriage and one thing that led to us sleeping separately (as we now do) was that DH would not only not have sex with me, he wouldn't let me have an orgasm by myself either. In his case, I would warn him I was "going to bed early" and he'd dash up the stairs after about 10 mins and stumble into the bedroom, sometimes switching the lights on too.

I personally found it very controlling. Sexual appetites are natural and healthy. Sending someone to the bathroom (cold) in the middle of the night is nasty.

Either accept he will sometimes have a quiet wank or suggest sleeping separately.

…do none of you do this? Really? I do this quite a lot when I can’t sleep 😕 no idea whether it bothers my husband or not.

Because of this. It's not about liking sex or not

Rightandwrong · Today 19:49

As I understand it if OP's H hasnt asked for her consent to masturbate in her prescence then this is technically sexual assault.