Why are so many men perverts?

[Larna4t]

I just got sexually harassed by a tarot card reader. The most bizarre place to be sexually harassed! It was at one of those walk in places near a beach

He was looking at the cards, talking about my relationships and he said "it looks like you are single ". I said ""yeah i am i want to be single i don't want a relationship reallly'
He said "oh yeah you can just go out for a few shags that's just as good".
I was taken aback. He said again "you can go out and have a good shag'
I said "no i dont do that".

He then said "did someone just die. " i said "yes my dad'
He said 'i bet you were a naughty girl for your dad. You naughty naughty girl'.

I said "im leaving". What the fuck!

Last week i was at a poetry group. We all wrote and read out a poem. The women all wrote about families , love , beach walks etc.
The man wrote "a funny poem (his words)" about his testicles and sex. No one found it funny.

In my last workplace two of my male colleagues were "joking" about masturbating. I felt a bit sick

I used to have a male friend - nice guy, worked hard, all about his kids and parents and sister and would help anyone. I had had a few dates with him too which were fun and respectful, huge range of interests he’d discuss. He said once that I really wouldn’t want to know what men really think about mostly - they’re awful beings thinking awful sexual stuff too much if the time - and he included himself in that.
I liked to think that’s not true of a lot of guys, and I have met many apparently genuinely nice fellas who behave on a basic level and don’t seem to obsess about sex or perve. But also I’ve been reminded of what he said a lot over the years tbh with disappointing revelations in one way or another - today, as a bit older now, I’m often less visible to folk, which suits me, but I still get to be disappointed observing normal people being such dicks - sadly.
I think perhaps it’s actually that there are many men who genuinely love their families and/or want to be decent human beings seeing everyone as equal and being respectful, but then there’s that other side that’s just dire in nearly all of them when off their lead. Very disappointing.

One man told you this, when he was presenting himself as the Nice Guy Fighting His Base Instincts, and you’ve decided that 50% of the human race is ‘dire’ based n a sample size of one?

Did you read her post

No she said its from her lived experience with many different men too

But it’s not a sample size of one is it? It’s many women, here and across all types of social media saying the same thing and various news events across the years confirming it to be true.

Don't be so stupid

Many men dont care, and in fact enjoy bullying amd hurting women

A male acquaintance said to me once, "men love the power. Of course men are going tp bully those weaker than them (women)

Not happened for a while but I used to get regularly groped, breasts felt etc. Being a teen at the time I would just freeze.

Your headline reminded me about some men I've seen on OLD. Married but wanting to hook up for the kind of 'kinky' sex they wouldn't dream of having, or requesting, with their wives. Makes me sad when I see that.

Report to police.

Spot the “cool girl” (or a bloke).

🙄

I am not denying that's your experience, but I have NEVER been groped, breast felt! And neither have my sisters or my friends! Who does that!

Sounds like the type of thing Jimmy Savile would have said

You're fortunate @thetrumanshow .

Yes I've had my breasts groped by a hotel worker who was fixing something in my room. Being a teen I didn't know what to do. I didn't even tell my parents.

I should also add I've had my bum pinched numerous times. In the street by men passing by, in bars.

Doesn't happen anymore but I rarely go out these evenings and it shouldn't happen anyway. No one should be assaulted like that.

Oh I forgot about my friend's BF pinching my breasts on a night out too. Tried to do it in a jokey fashion to make it appear more 'acceptable' :( I wouldn't let anyone get away with that these days.

Men are a whole different species to women and the internet has widened the gap immensely.
I barely trust any man (thoughts and potential behaviour) anymore, which is so so sad.
In particular, I feel so sorry for younger women who are growing up knowing no better than a man hurting them during sex (strangling, hair pulling, slapping, spitting) and him only being interested in his own selfish needs and expectations.
I’m not sure that emotions (love and respect) and balanced relationships are even a ‘thing’ anymore for a lot of men.
The amount of men who will happily have sex with their partners knowing their partner doesn’t even want to is just fucking baffling.
So, yes, we’re often just treated as objects.
It’s beyond grim.

There are so many pervy, creepy men around. Almost every time I go for a run alone or with female friends, men make pervy comments. Sometimes even when I’m just doing something like shopping at Tesco, a man finds a way to make some creepy comment. There are loads of pervy men on mumsnet too.

I do have good men in my life, but I think there are more bad than good.

There is no way you wouls get that from tarot. The Devil reversed may suggest a block regarding sex/"bad" habits but nowhere does tarot mention underwear. What a freak. Sorry you experienced that

Sure, Jan. 🙄

That looked like i was being arsey with @ApplesinmyPocketthen!

I was agreeing with you.

This reminds me of an episode of Red Dwarf where the roles are reversed and it is the women who make all the suggestive remarks.

Spot on.

My teen DD gets catcalled most days, builders on the street, white van guys, she has been followed home twice now. They seem to love a pretty girl in school uniform 😡.

Funnily enough teen DS has never once been harassed by grown women.

Again, I am not denying any of this, but what I find puzzling because it's a common occurence on MN, is that these incidents seem to happen to some women A LOT, and to others never.

I don't get pervy comments when I run, at most I get a good morning/ evening and the only ones who don't move away are women. 99% run out ot the side to let me carry on the path where I am.
I have never heard a creepy comment when shopping.

It's only examples to reply to your post, but I am never dealing with pervy men. I am not complaining, it's just odd the difference.

Yes I've regularly been inappropriately touched in public and at work.

One verbal perversion that really struck me was that at work three professors (medical) arrived to attend a meeting. I politely asked them if I could get them anything to drink. One of them said "yes, something warm and wet" or something along these lines, definitely inunendo and totally inappropriate. I poured them a coffee and didn't comment further. This was within the last 10 years.

I think some just want a reaction from you. Pervs.

All of the women in my life that I know well enough to talk about this with have dealt with multiple incidents since being teenagers, sometimes earlier. I have a teenage daughter and she and her friends are experiencing it too. It’s depressing. There doesn’t seem to be anything they have in common, other than they’re female.

I even had a pervy comment from a man when I was at a funeral a few years back. Some men are just disgusting.

I suppose you’ll have to remained puzzled, or maybe take it up with men.

Just to add to this, if I run with my partner, son or any other man, I get no comments from men. My partner, son and male friends never get any comments.

There’s a perv over on another thread wanting to know who shaves and who doesn’t.