Why are so many men perverts?

[Larna4t]

I just got sexually harassed by a tarot card reader. The most bizarre place to be sexually harassed! It was at one of those walk in places near a beach

He was looking at the cards, talking about my relationships and he said "it looks like you are single ". I said ""yeah i am i want to be single i don't want a relationship reallly'
He said "oh yeah you can just go out for a few shags that's just as good".
I was taken aback. He said again "you can go out and have a good shag'
I said "no i dont do that".

He then said "did someone just die. " i said "yes my dad'
He said 'i bet you were a naughty girl for your dad. You naughty naughty girl'.

I said "im leaving". What the fuck!

Last week i was at a poetry group. We all wrote and read out a poem. The women all wrote about families , love , beach walks etc.
The man wrote "a funny poem (his words)" about his testicles and sex. No one found it funny.

In my last workplace two of my male colleagues were "joking" about masturbating. I felt a bit sick

No, indeed as I said, it's not the same thing at all.

I was just originally responding to the suggestion that, whilst many men have no filter or sense of appropriateness when randomly talking about sex and intimate things to other people who may well not appreciate it, no woman would ever do anything remotely similar.

There have been lots of threads on here where female OPs have had to endure unwanted sexual comments from their husbands/partners - not some random man on the street - which has very understandably left them feeling uncomfortable and disrespected.

Creepy, boundary-crossing behaviour exhibited by loads of men doesn't automatically become absolutely fine if a woman does similar.

I think a lot of them don't see us as human, just things for their sexual pleasure.

I agree.

A lot of that is down to how women are presented and represented, though. Even in the mainstream.

How women are presented in films and TV. Constant nudity, and sex where only the woman is naked. Obligatory shower scenes when there's no other way to shoehorn tits in.

Constant scrutiny over women's dress, make up, physique, sexual appeal.

Clothing/cosmetic trends that promote these.

I agree. I'm too old to attract pervy men, but when younger I, thankfully, never got the kind of attention most mumsnetters get. I got flashed at once and groped on the tube once and that was it.

Are men bolder and more badly behaved than they were 40 years ago?

I remember, when i was about 15, being pinned against a wall (in broad daylight, and on a busy street), by a boy i knew well (I actually thought we were friends).

And he was trying to kiss me and grope my breasts.

Yes, women everywhere in the world are constantly assaulting, harassing and intimidating men. We just can’t control ourselves. 🙄

Women CAN be as bad but on the whole, they’re not.

Spot on, @FigTreeInEurope

So sorry that happened to you @ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews

Someone I had been friends with for nearly 20 years grabbed my breasts on a night out. It’s so upsetting when it’s someone you think you know and like and that you think likes and respects you.

I dont think anyone goes into tarot readers, taking it really seriously. Its just a bit of fun and entertainment (sometimes). Not this time.

If i ever go again, ill go to a woman

That's not the same at all,she was talking to her boyfriend not announcing it at the office or at an evening class.

I see the poem about the man's genitals as a form of flashing. It's revolting, a woman wouldn't write a poem about her vagina and read it out to the class.

Sadly age doesn’t stop it, my mum and friends were still getting it in their 70s.
And they said it was even worse decades ago, more catcalling from builders etc and bums pinched in queues, more pervy comments from older men when they were teens etc.
You are lucky

I was groped aggressively by a passing man in a nightclub once. It hurt. A male acquaintance saw me looking upset afterwards, I told him what happened and he said “ well you have great tits”. Obviously my own fault then.

He was thinking "id like to grope them too" which is the male point of view.

They think of themselves.

You feeling uncomfortable or upset wouldnt even enter his mind. Its very hard to get through to people like that.

I remember a male celebrity once said this.

He said 'women are telling men that they are upset and hurt. But the man doesnt see it at all when she says it. There is a disconnect, because men don't see women as all the way human".

He compared it to slavery. When the slaves would complain thaf they were hurt or upset. It didnt matter at all to their owners, because they didnt see them as human

It’s socialisation, they believe they have the right to do so. I’m sure most women have sexual thoughts, but we know it’s not polite or appropriate to repeat them.

Maybe I have a "don't mess with me face"?

Or maybe it is because of where I live - rural with not great public transport, so I mostly drive. When I get the train I have my head stuck in a book.

Our village streets aren't teeming with people and it is usual to his hello to anyone you walk past whether you know them or not. The only time I come across lots of people is at work, in town or the supermarket.

men don't see women as all the way human

that's when I believe this is ridiculous, and untrue.
It's not a case of "not all men" 🙄, it's simply that men are not a different species or by definition and nature litter ally an enemy or a predator. That is nonsense.

NO ONE is pretending there are no pervs. but you could compare with child abuse. No one is denying that child abuse exist, and it's uncomfortable to understand why it even happens in the first place. It doesn't mean that "all parents are potential abusers, because they see children as inferior and not all the way human, but some hide it better than others". It would be exactly the same reasoning.

I think the men can also sense weakness and they prey on more vulnerable people.

I had a very abusive childhood and no love at all. So i have low self esteem.

I read an article where a rapist said he always went for women who had low swlf esteem as they were more likely to blame themsleves

Did you have a good loving childhood?

I have a very don't mess with me attitude and I think men see it as a challenge not a deterrent. Sadly my experience has been the nice guys are few and far between and I've traveled so met lots of people over the years. Male entitlement is alive and kicking.

I’ve had women talking about their labias, hot gardeners and feeling so horny they could shag anything.

also women go out to pull all the time.

No woman I know, goes out to pull all the time

Its not me who said men don't see women as human beings. It's men who have said it.

tap

STEFFON CAMPBELL... a lot of our masculinities are defined by how many women [we have]
ALL WOMAN,HEALTH & FITNESS,ISSUES
July 13, 2020
‘Some men don’t see women as human beings’
WITH intimate partner violence being a harsh part of society, an advocate is opining that a crucial part of the problem is that some men are not socialised to “view women as human beings”.
“[They are] objects to be had,” opined Steffon Campbell, communication specialist and podcast host.

But you are not disproving my point

‘Some men don’t see women as human beings’
Clearly, or there wouldn't be any abuse/ rape and pervs in general.

No one is denying this, but it doesn't mean we assume that every man we see is a potential perv, anymore than we assume that every parent we see is potential abuser until proven otherwise.

If I walk past 500 men and ONE man tries to sexually assault me, I will only remember the perv, and might get wary of everyone in case I end up facing another one. It doesn't mean that all 500 men are potential rapists because one is.

But where did anyone on this thread say that we see all men as potential pervs? I didnt say it as the OP. I didnt see anyone else writing it.

We are talking about the men that ARE pervs. No one said ALL men are pervs

You’ve reminded me of this video of role reversal. Getting old now but makes the points.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UWxlVvT1A&t=8s&pp=2AEIkAIB

Men are just primates, locked into primate ape dominance patterns, and since neither thought nor intelligence are valued nowadays their animal selves are being unleashed.