DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

[GiraffePoster]

I’ve been alerted by several people who know me about posts my DH has made on our town’s local community page and underneath articles posted on the newspapers Facebook page.

These are varying level of inappropriate/offensive depending on your views on certain topics. Some are outright rude. Immigration, migrant hotels etc

He appears to have only just started doing this in the past couple of weeks. I’ve confronted him and he has admitted it and basically said he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously.

I have asked him to stop this as it is embarrassing for me and we also have young DC who people will know.

He has said it’s his social media and I can’t control this, and that Facebook will delete his account if they feel what he’s posting is wrong, and they haven’t taken anything down.

Am I being controlling to suggest he should delete his account? The damage is done to an extent, but I want to save further embarrassment.

Depends what he's posting specifically but I'm all for freedom of speech.

What, so he's 'having a laugh' posting racist comments about migrants? That sort of thing?

If so, I'd have to post underneath that you've told him to stop embarrassing himself like this. At least distance yourself.

Just to be clear, is he posting views which are actually his? Because that’s a bigger issue if you’re married to a racist.
Or is he just being a dickhead and posting racist/migrant nonsense he doesn’t actually believe in? Because that’s idiotic and embarrassing your whole family for views he doesn’t even hold, and the kids will be embarrassed as it sounds like people are talking about it.

What does he actually find funny about racism? Has he explained?

Of course he’s not posting racist stuff he doesn’t believe in to ‘wind people up.’ He’s a racist. Do with that what you will op

I think he needs to be careful with what he is posting online. If it is rude or derogatory then he needs to be aware that current or future employers might see this and it could impact his career.

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

I suppose I’d ask him to think about-

if he’d say it to someone’s face,
if he believes what he says

Then I’d ask him to remove all references to me and the kids from his FB because you’re too embarrassed to be associated with him.

Yes I’ve told him that too. He uses his middle name rather than his surname on there but obviously people we know recognise him from his photo. His argument is that employers won’t be able to find him, plus he’s self employed currently anyway

One of our local FB pages is full of people like this 'having a laugh and if you don't like it, scroll on.' It's a complete echo chamber with only about 20 or so regular local people posting now because... well, you can't argue with idiots.

The page is run by one of the regular posters of this rubbish. They often reply 'freedom of speech' to anyone challenging their 'facts' but a lot of it is really more hate speech.

I think that the suggestion by a PP to post a comment under your husbands post is brilliant!

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

So he's a coward as well as an immature (and possibly racist) prat.

I feel for you.

He's showing himself as racist then. What makes you think he isn't?

I wouldn't like it but realistically you can't stop him. I would just think of something to say when people bring it up with you like yeah he's a twat online isn't he.

so am I, but this is about consequences for his children - and his wife.
Freedom of speech is great, but when you decide to have children, you need to put them first.

He's not funny for anyone, and it won't benefit his kids if people think either that he's completely stupid, or a racist and a bully

sounds more like xenophobia than racism.

Neither are admirable quality or a sign of intelligence should I add.

Oh man thats actually really bad. The ick that would give me 🤮

"This is my husband.

Please ignore him. The frontal lobotomy obviously didn't take. Any donations to the Crowdfunder for a Personality Transplant for him or my own personal Get the Fuck outta Dodge freedom fund, gratefully accepted.'

You could ask the moderators of the Facebook page to ban him.

He really needs his phone confiscating.

How is he not racist?

Unfortunately using your middle name isn’t enough to stop people including potential employers finding your social media accounts these days. I’d personally be commenting to disagree/distance yourself - the reply about housing new arrivals is racist, so unfortunately you are indeed married to a racist which can’t look good on social media for your children

It is racism, and potentially misogyny too.

I would not put up with this and would inform him that if he values his marriage then it must stop. Right now! Also, all of his offensive posts must be taken down.

He's a total arse and it's not impressive.

My friend suggested that, but from what I can see one of the admins is just as childish with their comments.

Oh dear. It appears from this that you've married a unpleasant idiot who pays little regard to how his behaviour impacts upon you and your children.