DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

[GiraffePoster]

I’ve been alerted by several people who know me about posts my DH has made on our town’s local community page and underneath articles posted on the newspapers Facebook page.

These are varying level of inappropriate/offensive depending on your views on certain topics. Some are outright rude. Immigration, migrant hotels etc

He appears to have only just started doing this in the past couple of weeks. I’ve confronted him and he has admitted it and basically said he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously.

I have asked him to stop this as it is embarrassing for me and we also have young DC who people will know.

He has said it’s his social media and I can’t control this, and that Facebook will delete his account if they feel what he’s posting is wrong, and they haven’t taken anything down.

Am I being controlling to suggest he should delete his account? The damage is done to an extent, but I want to save further embarrassment.

He sounds really unpleasant.

I would think it could still potentially affect his income though. I mean if the man who does my yard work, who is self-employed, started posting racist stuff on Facebook I would be canceling his contract and going with someone else.

Many a true word spoken in jest

He sounds awful

I wouldn't want to be associated with him. Are you friends on Facebook? If so, I'd unfriend him

Jump the shark is a pretty well known phrase. It’s not a weirdly niche MN thing.

I'd make an all caps post on the local page saying something along the lines of "I HEREBY DISAVOW ANY/ALL POSTS OF A POLITICAL NATURE MADE BY <INSERT HIS NAME> AS I FIND THEM DEEPLY OFFENSIVE".

Oh God, one of my friends is married to a husband like this, and I used to absolutely cringe every time he posted some "edgy" shite on Facebook (I've muted him now).

She got married very young (18) and I think she just didn't realise that he wasn't very bright.

She is lovely, but I do judge her a tiny little bit for staying married to a twat. I think it would be a dealbreaker for me.

I know exactly the sort of Facebook bloke you're describing your husband to be and NGL, I'm finding this thread utterly hilarious

Obviously, OBVIOUSLY you shouldn't be married to this idiot

There was an absolute clunge of this ilk calling a local mayor a woke commie Nazi under her perfectly innocuous post of her being mayoral at a local event the other day.

I clicked on his profile- because I'm always curious about these idiots- and it was full of nice selfies with his partner. I had to assume that she shares his views. In the light of this thread, I am seriously feeling for her if she doesn't.

He also used his real name and had his ex employer in his bio 🤦‍♀️. Guess he won't be having many future employers...

Is this behaviour very out of character? if so, I'd be asking what's precipitated it.

This is urgh. Even if these aren't his real views, surely he realises these types of posts amplify and validate these beliefs?

Ah, so he's a coward as well as a thick racist! Quite the catch!

Farage had to be! I really hate this man!
Well, he is taking over. There are a good number of people who do agree with him.
I think he is nothing but a scam. He is there to make money for himself and has zero idea of how to run the country. Which can be said of many politicians. But I think in his case, he will be quite the same as Trump in US.
I really thought Farage followers here would change their mind when they see what is going on in US. But nope.
In the meantime our DHs do not turn into rabid racists, going out to burn people, like the riots in the summer. I think everyone is fully entitled to a political opinion and to express it. Within the law. And we should not ban anyone from talking about their thoughts, bar promoting violence. We will have to learn to live through these days. Hear all the Farage copy/ paste rubbish. Hopefully he will never ever be PM.

Ask him to explain exactly how his jokes are funny. This always trips them up.

If he makes racist jokes, he’s being racist. He is racist. Saying you don’t believe someone to be racist when they are actively choosing to say racist things is peak ignorance on your part. Call a spade a spade.

I always scout trades on our FB group and last week was looking for a plumber.

I genuinely click on a few profiles to see evidence of work etc and came across several that had the standard 'Reform' posts scattered on their profiles.

Easily sifted out

I have come across such remarks and attitudes, I certainly couldn't live with that.

I hope you challenge him when he says such things, find out what he really thinks, what he has to back up his opinions.

Facebook is rife at the moment with that sort of stuff, some folk revel in it but if you ask them why or dispute anything they say, they show their ignorance and are frequently quite defensive.

The other thing is obscenities. There was a man in a group I post on sometimes who posted the most unbelievably lewd things, really yeuch (he loves bodily functions and excretions), offensive to both sexes but particularly women for whom he appeared to have no respect,more or less saying they were slags. He also came up with really ignorant, and sometimes cruel, racist remarks. His defence was that he 'likes winding people up', I am not so sure. It is very much of note that his wife, of whom he has posted the odd photo, is not on FB. I would die if that was my husband. However I have to say he seems to have vanished.

If your husband is doing that, he is behaving worse than a child, Giraffe.

Jump the shark is a very well known phrase. Just because you don't know it doesn't mean it's not "normal English".

Exactly. It originated from an episode of Happy Days that aired in 1977. So it's been a common phrase for nearly 50 years.

Where he commented "I bet she's single", could you simply reply "As will you be if you keep this up"?

The organisation I work for has a social media policy that forbids posting anything that could damage the reputation of the organisation and explicitly references material that could be considered racist, sexist, homophobic or xenophobic. It might well have transphobic included now, my contract was issued 18 years ago.

Something like this could well be a disciplinary matter if your DH worked for them!

Op didn’t say racist. They just said about migrants. Doesn’t mean it’s racist. The DH might have said welcome migrants! Oooh people like you love to jump on the everyone is racist bandwagon!

Well it depends on what he’s saying. I do wish the contingent of people equating being anti uncontrolled immigration to racism would actually educate themselves as to the impact it is having on the country, especially poorer areas.

Having strong views about the problems uncontrolled immigration and lack of integration causes is not the same as racism.

Only you can tell what his wider views are, we don’t know.

Nothing like being a racist misogynistic troll for laughs.

I would divorce as I'm mixed race and don't tolerate racists and misogynists. But I wouldn't have married him in the first place.

You and your children will always be associated with his racist and offensive posts.

That wouldn’t be rude, as stated in the OP.

This is just leg crossing for me. I wouldn't fancy my DH if he was like this. Would he shut up if you told him this?

I think I'd put the disclaimer up, 'this idiot is sadly my idiot and I do not share his views'.
My BFF moved in with her hot younger man and he turned out to be a fascist. Vile statements. He'd kept it well hidden for nearly a year. He told her Polish SIL he admired Hitler and Trump.
She's moving out thank God.

Where does the OP say he’s posting racist comments?