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Original poster

DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

216 replies

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:16

I’ve been alerted by several people who know me about posts my DH has made on our town’s local community page and underneath articles posted on the newspapers Facebook page.

These are varying level of inappropriate/offensive depending on your views on certain topics. Some are outright rude. Immigration, migrant hotels etc

He appears to have only just started doing this in the past couple of weeks. I’ve confronted him and he has admitted it and basically said he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously.

I have asked him to stop this as it is embarrassing for me and we also have young DC who people will know.

He has said it’s his social media and I can’t control this, and that Facebook will delete his account if they feel what he’s posting is wrong, and they haven’t taken anything down.

Am I being controlling to suggest he should delete his account? The damage is done to an extent, but I want to save further embarrassment.

OP posts:
Ddakji · 09/05/2025 07:44

He sound embarrassingly infantile.

Serpentstooth · 09/05/2025 07:53

Men like the this used to have such conversations in the local pub with a few supporters and a lot of avoiders. Now that going to the pub after work is no longer a thing, we're stuck with them in the house, spouting away on SM. They are as boring, friendless and tedious as they ever were. Pub bores at home.

Lengokengo · 09/05/2025 07:55

I would frame it to him in a way that will get to him. He clearly gets a kick out of teasing/ wind-ups, without caring of the impact.

Having been on the receiving end of these wind-ups, and hating them with a vengeance, the only thing that worked to counteract them was to somehow chip away at the bullies self image.

Declaring their actions ‘boring’ or cowardly in a dismissive tone. ‘Oh God are you at your cowardly nonsense again. It’s so boring…etc.’

ComeAsYouAreAsAFriend · 09/05/2025 08:01

If he is really getting a kick out of this, as many do, get him to open a new account under different name with no profile pic. He is being judged by everyone that knows or doesn't know him and some will agree and some will despise him as a result. He is wrong that any potential future employer might not find his posts some can be very thorough. He sounds pretty immature tbh and bullying people for the laughs is pretty horrible behaviour.

2dogsandabudgie · 09/05/2025 08:06

wizzywig · 08/05/2025 17:10

Maybe he'll stop if it impacts on his work. I wouldn't give my money to a gammon like him

That makes you just as bad calling him childish names.

Cornflakes44 · 09/05/2025 08:09

Blackdow · 08/05/2025 16:20

Just to be clear, is he posting views which are actually his? Because that’s a bigger issue if you’re married to a racist.
Or is he just being a dickhead and posting racist/migrant nonsense he doesn’t actually believe in? Because that’s idiotic and embarrassing your whole family for views he doesn’t even hold, and the kids will be embarrassed as it sounds like people are talking about it.

Not sure what would be worse out of these two options. Actually a racist or thinks it’s a laugh to pretend to be. Either way I’m not sure I could be in a relationship with someone like this. I can imagine it’s not just this where he behaves like a dick.

KnittyNell · 09/05/2025 08:13

ObliviousCoalmine · 08/05/2025 21:44

Maybe @KnittyNell is OP’s husband.

I’ve just asked my lovely DH and he confirms it definitely isn’t him.

HTH.
😁😁

JifNtGif · 09/05/2025 08:13

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:30

My friend suggested that, but from what I can see one of the admins is just as childish with their comments.

Show quote history

Ah so he's a keen racist then..cool cool cool.

Swiftie1878 · 09/05/2025 08:17

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 17:10

Yes I’m in the group, I’m far from an avid social media user but have been on there more often since my friends told me. He seemed to be toning it down but then started up again yesterday saying he thinks Farage should be the next PM which kicked off a big debate.

Show quote history

Sounds like you’re married to someone you don’t really know.
You can’t control him expressing himself online, but you can control how you react to it face to face.

Confrontayshunme · 09/05/2025 08:23

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

Show quote history

I work in immigration. I hate to say this, but being racist means helping to uphold a system where one people are more important and worthy of respect or privileges than another. Your DH is creating and supporting that system, therefore he is a racist. No matter what his intention is.

dayslikethese1 · 09/05/2025 08:24

He sounds horrible. And stupid. Sorry OP.

Hoppinggreen · 09/05/2025 08:42

LBFseBrom · 09/05/2025 03:46

I can assure you there are people who will bring racism into any conversation at the drop o a hat, If you get to know them you wait for it, hoping to be wrong of course, that this time will be different, but five minutes and they are in. My late husband had an uncle like that. I know a lot of people do have embarrassng uncles but he took the biscuit.

It doesn't surprise me at all that a decorato does it.

Show quote history

I had someone come to give me a quote for some work and he seemed really nice. I said that I had to leave soon as we were going to vote in The Local Elections and he started talking all sorts of racist shite.
I just looked at him and said that we really needed to go out now and I think he realised and tried to back pedal telling me he had "black friends".
I told him not to worry about sending a quote, he did anyway and I ignored it and his follow ups.

EstherGreenwood63 · 09/05/2025 08:46

100% I would leave a man like this. He's garbage OP. You can do better.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 09/05/2025 08:51

My neighbours husband does this.
He posts racist, misogynistic and homophobic content regularly.

He's married with a teenage daughter who had just announced she's gay.

I can't believe his wife stays with him. He's disgraceful.

StMarie4me · 09/05/2025 09:04

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

Ew.

Even without the widow detail this reveals him to be a vile misogynist as well as a racist.

I could not stay with him.

Ew.

insomniacalways · 09/05/2025 09:11

As an admin of our local community Facebook Group, I would say he needs to be very careful. In some cases, other members have identified people who do this on our group and notified employers or shared detailed information on the people posting. I remove this but the rules of our group are pretty clear and racist misogynistic stuff also but sometimes on a Friday / Saturday night a thread will get out of hand - often as someone is just "winding people up".

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