Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex noise from neighbours

211 replies

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

OP posts:
Justgoodforthegetting · 16/03/2025 20:38

So many posters talking about loud sex being performative and attention seeking. Some people just have REALLY good sex and are loud about it. If you know, you know🤣

Having said that, I wouldn’t want kids to hear.

ByWildLimeCat · 16/03/2025 20:39

Our old neighbours when we lived in a flat used to have really raucous sex on a Sunday morning. Such thin walls we could hear everything.
One weekend we got Alexa in our room to play ‘I Just Had Sex’ by the lonely island as soon as they’d finished; could hear them sniggering on the other side. I will say, they were a bit quieter after that day 🤣

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:40

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:31

@Discone You watch porn, so what? Nothing to be embarrassed about!

Where did I say I watched porn? I'm also really surprised at the lack of awareness of sex positivity as movement. You've clearly got an axe to grind from your comments. So I think I'll leave the thread there as the replies seem to have moved away from the question I asked if iwbu about! Which I was.

Thanks all

OP posts:
Luddite26 · 16/03/2025 20:40

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:30

So is having a poo, but no-one needs to hear anyone doing that hey?!

Have you lived in a new build semi or town house?💩

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:43

Justgoodforthegetting · 16/03/2025 20:38

So many posters talking about loud sex being performative and attention seeking. Some people just have REALLY good sex and are loud about it. If you know, you know🤣

Having said that, I wouldn’t want kids to hear.

You can have really good enjoyable sex without screaming like a banshee and letting the neighbourhood know you're getting fucked you know! 😂

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:44

Luddite26 · 16/03/2025 20:40

Have you lived in a new build semi or town house?💩

No. And I don't think I want to now! 😂

smilingontheinside · 16/03/2025 20:44

Good job you don't live by me and my neighbours. Can often hear them at it, my partner and I giggle because it only lasts a couple minutes but is often at 3am. Not sure what they make of us though because have to say when we have sex I get completely lost in it and am sure I make "a noise". Thing is though we go on for ages. We are old, experienced and making the most of retirement and no kids at home now 😜 Live and let live, rather hear the odd sex encounters than their screaming child when she's at home 😁

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:46

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:40

Where did I say I watched porn? I'm also really surprised at the lack of awareness of sex positivity as movement. You've clearly got an axe to grind from your comments. So I think I'll leave the thread there as the replies seem to have moved away from the question I asked if iwbu about! Which I was.

Thanks all

Sorry ignore the last bit @BatchCookBabe I got your user name and another mixed up.

Re knowledge of porn. It's so all over our culture, unfortunately. I'm not sure thi really need to be a question. But I'm a woman in my 30s so this is my experience.

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:46

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:40

Where did I say I watched porn? I'm also really surprised at the lack of awareness of sex positivity as movement. You've clearly got an axe to grind from your comments. So I think I'll leave the thread there as the replies seem to have moved away from the question I asked if iwbu about! Which I was.

Thanks all

Of course you watch porn! How would you know what women in porn sound like if you don't?

From your OP.

He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

Shot yourself in the foot there babes! 😆

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 20:47

I cannot believe some of the frosty replies here !!!, when it’s a funny story 😂😂
Clearly some well needed Sunday Sex for others posting here 😁..
Guys lighten up ffs !!!!! 😂😂

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:47

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 20:47

I cannot believe some of the frosty replies here !!!, when it’s a funny story 😂😂
Clearly some well needed Sunday Sex for others posting here 😁..
Guys lighten up ffs !!!!! 😂😂

SEX ON THE SABBATH?!

Shame on you!

😆

Ritzybitzy · 16/03/2025 20:48

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

The fact that it was anonymous makes it worse.

It’s a terrace. It’s a 50/50 situation.

DoComeToMeKitty · 16/03/2025 20:52

OP do you have kids in the house? Sex noises is something they should definitely not be having to listen to. I'm not sure where the law lies with this though.

I've heard vague grumpy pumpy noises from next door late at night but nothing as bad as you've described. I don't think any of the kids would know what it was even if they were awake.

However, porn type noises are not on though, especially when kids are likely to be awake and likens to some type of indecent exposure.

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:53

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:46

Of course you watch porn! How would you know what women in porn sound like if you don't?

From your OP.

He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

Shot yourself in the foot there babes! 😆

I've addressed that in several replies. I don't know what else to say. Honestly I'd prefer porn wasn't as widely around.

I don't think I've ever had a stranger tell me about myself and something I definitely do before. So thanks for giving me a new experience I guess.

OP posts:
LiveinHarmony · 16/03/2025 20:57

Classic MN, sorry op. A note through the door to a neighbour to highlight having sex too loudly.😂
Op, you're braver than me, it's going to be awkward now when you see him. You'll just both know and not be able to say anything, a polite head nod perhaps?

HeartyViper · 16/03/2025 20:57

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:53

Hi we can hear you having sex really loudly, perhaps put some music on as its Sunday afternoon. Thanks

Oh OP, I’m cringing just reading.
I would be mortified if my neighbours posted anything of the sort..
I have heard my neighbours in the past, and I just get on with life because adults are allowed to have sex in their own home. Particularly, if it was the first time it’s ever happened. Just pop some music on next time, they won’t be at it for hours.

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:58

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 20:47

I cannot believe some of the frosty replies here !!!, when it’s a funny story 😂😂
Clearly some well needed Sunday Sex for others posting here 😁..
Guys lighten up ffs !!!!! 😂😂

I thought of it like this and also it would be laughing at me more than anything. As whole it wasn't the right thing to do, in the scale of wrong and bad it's really not horrific. Obvs very wrong. But aibu is like this, honestly it doesn't bother me in real life.

I mean the accusations of hating sex, watching porn, being rude, making up sex positivity, etc that doesn't bother me. Obvs I care i made the wrong decision re the note. So would not act so quickly in future.

OP posts:
MsCactus · 16/03/2025 21:05

Side point, but why is everyone saying loud sex is attention seeking?! Some people are just noisy during sex

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 21:06

Why are you so incensed at the idea of people assuming you watch porn @Discone ?

And seriously, you described the sex noise as porny. And then go on to say you have never watched porn. Makes no sense to me.

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 21:07

Ah OP don’t take any notice of the one’s giving out on this , unfortunately they’re people posting on this forum & all they do is give out & slate 🙄
You wrote a note , so what !!! 😂😂
It’s not like you wrote a litany of abuse !
When I read your post , I was laughing 😂😂

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 21:08

MsCactus · 16/03/2025 21:05

Side point, but why is everyone saying loud sex is attention seeking?! Some people are just noisy during sex

Side point, but why is everyone saying loud sex is attention seeking?

Because it is. 😂

offmynut · 16/03/2025 21:08

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:58

I thought of it like this and also it would be laughing at me more than anything. As whole it wasn't the right thing to do, in the scale of wrong and bad it's really not horrific. Obvs very wrong. But aibu is like this, honestly it doesn't bother me in real life.

I mean the accusations of hating sex, watching porn, being rude, making up sex positivity, etc that doesn't bother me. Obvs I care i made the wrong decision re the note. So would not act so quickly in future.

Op whats done is done let it go.
Ive been quoted a few times already because i find it funny some on here just like to pick.
Type a whole thread some will pull out 1 or 2 words and use it against you sad really no one sees the funny side. Too many have to be serious all the time miserable sods.

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 21:08

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 21:07

Ah OP don’t take any notice of the one’s giving out on this , unfortunately they’re people posting on this forum & all they do is give out & slate 🙄
You wrote a note , so what !!! 😂😂
It’s not like you wrote a litany of abuse !
When I read your post , I was laughing 😂😂

Yeah you weren't the only one who was laughing! 😆

Ritzybitzy · 16/03/2025 21:09

Showed my husband this. He said you’ve just invited louder noises.

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 21:09

offmynut · 16/03/2025 21:08

Op whats done is done let it go.
Ive been quoted a few times already because i find it funny some on here just like to pick.
Type a whole thread some will pull out 1 or 2 words and use it against you sad really no one sees the funny side. Too many have to be serious all the time miserable sods.

WTF are you talking about?

Swipe left for the next trending thread