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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex noise from neighbours

211 replies

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

OP posts:
Discone · 16/03/2025 20:07

I'd then be more quiet. I'm genuinely not sure what else someone would do? I don't have sex on schedule like that but I get what you mean.

Also on the porn thing, I could hear banging too. I did think this initially.

OP posts:
offmynut · 16/03/2025 20:07

Just thought of something next time op crank up marvin gaye or something similar.

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 20:08

🤣🤣🤣
Wrote a note, oh OP 🙈🤣🤣..
Wish i was getting it on Sunday middle of the day !!! 😆

Branleuse · 16/03/2025 20:08

Shitty move to do that for a first time hearing it.

RealEagle · 16/03/2025 20:08

I can’t believe you done that ,

Bitofanchange · 16/03/2025 20:09

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:53

Hi we can hear you having sex really loudly, perhaps put some music on as its Sunday afternoon. Thanks

Did you tell them the woman sounded like a porn star, so they could judge you for watching porn?

icelolly12 · 16/03/2025 20:10

Are you sure he wasn't just watching porn?

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

OP posts:
icelolly12 · 16/03/2025 20:11

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

Well there can't be that many neighbours he shares a bedroom wall with

offmynut · 16/03/2025 20:11

Missj25 · 16/03/2025 20:08

🤣🤣🤣
Wrote a note, oh OP 🙈🤣🤣..
Wish i was getting it on Sunday middle of the day !!! 😆

Me too.😂

BigBoden · 16/03/2025 20:13

You have Voice Memos?
Then record it and play it back at 3am, though a speaker
The couple next door are so quiet now that she wont scream during childbirth

Dweetfidilove · 16/03/2025 20:14

You're super sex positive (whatever that means), but so embarrassed by sex noises you left a note?

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:15

Bitofanchange · 16/03/2025 20:09

Did you tell them the woman sounded like a porn star, so they could judge you for watching porn?

Sorry what could you explain your post please? Where did I say I was watching porn? Or do you mean in order to know what porn sound like I must watch it? I feel like I can't reply as I'm not sure what you mean..

I didn't think it was kind to say it sounded like porn as I said they may like the ott vocals. So while I think it's a bit much, I don't want to judge styles d preferences and by mentioning it it's a judgement. The noise if that's your thing, just put music on!

OP posts:
SherlockHomies · 16/03/2025 20:16

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

Cowardly.

If it's this important to you, you should've signed your name to it.

Now he might be blaming someone else in his mind, without saying anything to them.

Way to stir up shit amongst your neighbours.

Catwoman8 · 16/03/2025 20:17

If this was happening frequently and keeping you awake at night then I think a conversation at that point (or letter in your case) wouldn't be unreasonable. However for a first time offence, and the fact you've said he's a good neighbour, I think you've acted Unreasonably.

Zeroperspective · 16/03/2025 20:17

Oh wow I'm cringing for you OP lol I think given its the first time you've heard it (and it might not have been her faking it, some people are more vocal than others during sex) then I'd have left it and maybe put on my own music. If it became clear it was a new relationship and likely to continue happening then yes the note would be a good call.
As for not knowing its you, I mean it's a terraced house so I'd say he will know it's 50/50 if it was you or those on the other side and depending where his bedroom is on the adjoining wall.....

SexAndCakes · 16/03/2025 20:17

If it's the first time you have heard it and he is single then it was probably a new partner. He may already have been embarrassed by her noise (you said it was her you heard, not him) but you can't exactly tell a new partner to shut up for the neighbours sake the first time you bonk. You jumped on it way too quickly OP.

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 20:18

offmynut · 16/03/2025 19:55

Omg you didnt did you a note because of loud sex ffs oh the shame im embarrassed for you why didnt you put your music on.
It would not bother me one bit id think good for them put my music on and get on with my life.
If it was me id get louder on spite.😂

Glad you’re not my neighbour. You’re obviously very inconsiderate and sound rather immature. I’m embarrassed for you.

Zippidydoodah · 16/03/2025 20:19

I used to get woken up at 4am pretty much every day by the neighbours in my uni house. They weren’t students. Their headboard must have been on the other side of the wall to mine. Bang bang bang. Mind you, they probably hated us!

offmynut · 16/03/2025 20:19

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 20:18

Glad you’re not my neighbour. You’re obviously very inconsiderate and sound rather immature. I’m embarrassed for you.

Thank you have a good evening.

Grammarnut · 16/03/2025 20:20

What does sex positive mean in this context? Bearing in mind sex positivity is distincly unfeminist being as it supports porn and prostitution as 'work'.
And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours having sex. I'd put on some loud music.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 16/03/2025 20:20

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:15

Sorry what could you explain your post please? Where did I say I was watching porn? Or do you mean in order to know what porn sound like I must watch it? I feel like I can't reply as I'm not sure what you mean..

I didn't think it was kind to say it sounded like porn as I said they may like the ott vocals. So while I think it's a bit much, I don't want to judge styles d preferences and by mentioning it it's a judgement. The noise if that's your thing, just put music on!

So you just thought you'd completely humiliated him. Great.

Redbushteaforme · 16/03/2025 20:20

Better to let him know first time rather than waiting to tell him and him possibly being even more embarrassed.

I still wish that I had told my neighbour the first time after he removed his blinds on his bathroom window with a low window cill (old house, upstairs bathroom) that his frosted glass wasn't as frosted as he thought, and that I was getting the full frontal effect every time he stood naked at the window and I was standing at my kitchen sink.

NimbleTiger · 16/03/2025 20:21

Me and my now exp were guilty of being noisy in the sex arena we were unaware we were affecting anyone else. Our neighbours during a fence chat asked if we could hear them in their day to day lives that very clearly sent the message which we acknowledged... we all laughed... it cleared the air and we were more aware going forward.

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