Sex noise from neighbours

[Discone]

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

Oh good lord, imagine going to the kitchen for a post-coital glass of water and finding that note!

😆

Why does everyone always say people who make noise when enjoying sex are trying to emulate porn? I’ve watched porn maybe twice in my life for a few seconds when boyfriends have tried to get me to enjoy it with them and it gives me the ick.

…But I’m vocal in bed. It’s an automatic reaction. Sometimes I have to stifle it as my kids might be home or I’m aware it’s super late and my neighbour might be next door…but to stifle it every single time I have sex for the rest of my life? Sorry but no

Why does everyone always say people who make noise when enjoying sex are trying to emulate porn?

The only person who said this (that I have seen) is the OP in her opening post. (She said the sex noises next door sound like porn - even though she has NEVER watched porn!) 😂

Omg it happened once! Put your own music on

We had neighbours like this. We used to cheer and applaud when they had reached their climax.

I had neighbours like that years ago, it was her, moaning and shrieking like a banshee on Halloween. Then she moved in and it gradually calmed down then they got married and it reduced even more, then they had a baby and it stopped!

I resorted to loudly playing Oasis 'Morning Glory' after being rudely awoken yet again by fake porn screaming from the neighbour.

I did also tell everyone at work fully in the knowledge screaming neighbours cousin worked in the team next to us in the open plan office and she was goggle eyed listening in 😆.

Neighbours eventually got married.

Not sure which of the 3 things above finally stopped it but there's no fake porn squealing anymore 🤣.

@Bepo77 I know right! I never knew so many people had silent perfunctory sex. How does your partner know you’re enjoying it if you’re just silently thrusting?

Exactly the right thing. Nip it straight in the bud.

I don't think I could have done anything as direct as writing a note. Maybe have a conversation along the lines of "these houses are not very well sound proofed are they?" and see if the penny drops.

You. She’s talking about people like you.

Why do men not feel the need to communicate in the same way?

So, I did this once and put a note through the door of my neighbours.
Totally get how it’s possible to get worked up over this and want to nip it in the bud.
Unfortunately for me, it turned out my cat had developed a porn star snore and had found a new napping place under my bed.
When we realised, I went round and left some apology muffins in a tin on the doorstep and thankfully we never, ever spoke of it.
It will be fine and it’s good to reflect on these decisions we make in the heat of the moment - I always give it 24 hours now and see how I feel, usually the panic passes!

He'll probably just feel really proud of himself and take it as a compliment.

@Redpeach They have done in my experience

Fucking hell you heard them have sex once and put a note through their door suggesting they put on music? That’s appalling

Why did you ask them to put music on? That’s just making more noise! Why not ask them to keep it down in future?

Ok fair enough iabu. It was so loud and not even just towards the end. Like how women in porn sound. So it just felt quite inconsiderate as you deliberately make that noise. So I wanted to nip it in the bud.

I’m sorry, you say you’re ‘sex positive’ (whatever that means) but you also think there’s a certain way women should sound during sex? Maybe you’ve just not had a good enough partner? Worth considering

They probably wouldn't be if their kids or parents were in the next room though would they?

It's unnecessary.

My neighbour can definitely hear us 😄

Music won't help unfortunately.

Maybe look into what you can get to soundproof your wall

What do women in porn sound like?

I had a couple above me in a hotel. It was horrendous and went on for hours. I wouldn't be surprised if they had broken the bed. The woman was incredibly loud, all the time. I couldn't bear it if that was next door and I'd be embarrassed if my child heard. I don't blame you OP

I don't buy that because sex is 'a part of life' we should joyfully accept hearing our neighbours making excessive noise in the throes of passion. Everything that makes noise is a part of life. Cleaning is a part of life, but I wouldn't hoover in the middle of the night if it would wake or disturb others.