To be devastated about this minor thing...

[Ninerina]

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. Why would they pretend to be shocked because you told them how old your son is?

It's the menopause

eh?

I am 54 and my eldest child is 35

only once has someone said they could not believe I had a child that age but that was ages ago, now I have been mistaken for an OAP once or twice, thanks to ill health and grey hair😂

Don’t be ridiculous. They probably have children the same age and think nothing of it.

It sounds like your book club members actually were the type of decent people who don't comment on others people's looks and age. Actually quite a rare thing on MN where there have been numerous threads about the rude and upsetting comments people have to put up with about how they look from friends, acquaintances and randoms alike.

And just because they didn't say anything no way means they didn't think you looked good for your age. Although why their thoughts on this is important to you is a bit worrying.

I don't think people give it that much thought - maybe if you had said your son was 2 months old or 66 years old, they might have thought about 'the biology maths' but if it's remotely in the right range they won't think about it

This isn’t about OP’s son’s age to be living at home, it’s about them not reacting “oh my god, you don’t look old enough to have a son that age!”
I don’t think it’s devastating to look your age.

What happened at 53 that stopped people commenting that you didn't look it ? [am guessing this thread is said jokingly]

😂

You'd love me - I'm always super shocked when my colleagues have fully adult children, regardless of my colleagues age!

Because the truth is you will absolutely look the age to have a son that age.

No one can stop time. Really try to stop caring, it doesn’t matter.

Really?

You’re joking, right?

OP says her 7 year old stepson thinks she looks 38 on another thread; it’s obviously a bit of a fixation

I mean, I’m 52 with a 12 year old. I probably look exactly my age, but I can’t say I’ve given it much thought. I quite like what I look like, but whether I may look younger than I am doesn’t really feature in my thought processes.

Ah, OK.

99% of people look their age give it take a few years. No 35 year old looks 21
despite what the headlines may say “I’m 35 and I get mistaken for a school girl when I get on the bus”!

You had your son at 26 so completely normal age. Had you had him when you were 16 and he was 39 then people would no doubt still gasp.

YABU 🤣

Yes I'm joking!
Sort of
But a part of me does feel sad about it obviously
I mean, I even did a dramatic pause waiting for their reaction which didn't happen 🙃
Anyway it sounds like the majority of you are not my people
My people would understand what I'm saying and commiserate with me

So you look old enough to have a 29 year old son? I really don’t see what issue is.
The members sound polite and friendly a little chit chat and then on to the book.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to gasp oh you don’t look old enough to have a 29 year old. You may have had him as young teen, he may be your step son etc. I also wouldn’t expect strangers to start questioning why he still lived with you. It’s nosy and potentially opening a can of worms.

So you're 55 and you look 55? I don't see the problem 🤷

This. I was very used to the 'you don't look your age', but meno seems to have halted that. 😫

OP, I laughed.

It probably actually is a bit rude to comment on age and looks if you don’t know someone, even if positively. Maybe they were just of this kind of mindset.

Whatever you do op don’t post a photo . You will get the usuals piling in to tell you that you look 83

You have my sympathies! I have to tell the Uber Eats delivery person my DOB when we get an order with wine in it. They are usually astonished. On the occasions when they aren’t, I’m deeply offended. 🥹

I honestly give virtually no thought to someone’s age most of time. Occasionally something will be said and I think gosh I didn’t know they were that age but it’s pretty rare.