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Original poster

To be devastated about this minor thing...

311 replies

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 09:51

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

OP posts:
WhoamItoday11 · 13/12/2025 06:40

OP, I get where you are coming from. A new work colleague asked me recently if I had kids and before I could answer she asked if they are grown up. 😳

No, they are teenagers (a mere 12 & 14). I was most offended (but didn't let on).

Never mind the fact that I am old enough to have grown children and some people I went to school with are grandparents. I'm 49, just a month shy of 50. It was still a bit of a blow to my ego.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/12/2025 06:57

Yep I very suddenly look my age after 3 decades of people saying I look much younger. The glow of youth fucked off with the menopause.

Apollonia1 · 13/12/2025 07:05

I used to look younger than my age.
I was 47 having my kids. When I went to my first consultant appointment while pregnant and gave my date of birth, the doctor looked astonished and exclaimed “you don’t look 47, you don’t even look 37!”.
Now my kids are 5 and I’m post menopause, I look about 107. No one would gasp on hearing my age anymore!

BunnyLake · 13/12/2025 10:25

Ninarina · 13/12/2025 06:19

I am jumping back on this thread because there were some nice people who commiserated with me and my 'devastation' and also I am full of cold and feel like crap and I always like it when posters do updates so here is mine
Not doing it to be controversial I just thought some people might be interested

Anyways, I had accepted that I no longer look young for my age, its fine, that's life, but then a few things have happened this year where people have commented the following :
At a party talking about menopause and I piped up about my symptoms and the other women all gawped and said I looked too young
At the same party I mentioned my late 20s son and one woman said 'I thought you were 30'
At the same bookclub another member who wasn't there the first time said: "You dont look anywhere near your age, you dont have any lines or wrinkles. If you told me you're 30 I'd have believed you."
The only thing that's changed is I am doing project pan and trying to use up all my skincare products before Christmas so I have been using everything religiously
Maybe that has helped or maybe I just accepted my age and relaxed?
I dunno
Anyway I am going back to sleep

When I was 50 my new neighbour thought I was about 32, I always looked good for my age. Once I hit 60 though the aging process really sped up 😩. Unless you are really on top of it (I wasn’t), it’ll come at you faster than the speed of sound 😭

Bignanna · 13/12/2025 13:59

OP send a photo and we’ll give you our opinion.

Bignanna · 13/12/2025 14:04

I’m 78 and I definitely couldn’t be mistaken for Ann Widdecombe! I admit I liked it when someone said” wait till you get to my age” and I answered “ I’m older than you!” My mum didn’t go grey until she was in her seventies. Of course she had wrinkles, but not as many as most of her age. I’m lucky I take after her. Still hate my neck, though!

notacooldad · 14/12/2025 13:52

I must admit I look better than I did 15 years ago, not younger , just better.
Ive got time and money to spend on myself so I can afford treatments, haircuts, colouring and styling on a regular basis, good quality skin care, better food, regular, varied exercise, nice clothes etc.
15 years ago I was having a hard time and practically gave up on my self.

Old colleagues from that time that I hadnt seen in years, but i am now working with them again have commented how 'amazing' I look . I wouldnt go that far but genuine compliments have put a wee spring in my step, I'm not going to lie!

LadeOde · 15/12/2025 21:42

Bignanna · 13/12/2025 14:04

I’m 78 and I definitely couldn’t be mistaken for Ann Widdecombe! I admit I liked it when someone said” wait till you get to my age” and I answered “ I’m older than you!” My mum didn’t go grey until she was in her seventies. Of course she had wrinkles, but not as many as most of her age. I’m lucky I take after her. Still hate my neck, though!

Would love to have seen their face after you said.

LadeOde · 15/12/2025 21:50

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 23:33

People haven't a clue. Try getting dismissed as a child in the workplace when your in charge. Try getting refused into clubs on a night out when your the older one in the group.Try getting accused of being your Dh daughter. Try getting laughed at in the face of women your own age then ending up shying away from mixing with them. Try all that then say it's fantasy & there are women who thrive on being obsessed with looking young. Try living a day in the life of those whose genetics have given them younger looks than their age including those over 50/60 then you can appreciate what it's really like.

Edited

People can be really thick, if it's not their experience, then it can't be possible. Everything you've said and more. It can be utterly humiliating, but because its what they covet they're completely blindsided to the cons. We don't want to look too young or too old, just normal what's normal for our age.

SnowFrogJelly · 15/12/2025 23:05

This is a wind up right

Elsvieta · 16/12/2025 14:53

Someone at work the other day said something about "the young people" who work here and I realised she wasn't including me in that category. Not happy.

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