To be devastated about this minor thing...

[Ninerina]

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

Just to clarify I have never mentioned this in real life to anyone so musing on an anonymous online forum doesn't make it a crime against humanity or mean that I'm self-obsessed and as deep as a puddle.
Tho I did the Olay skin age test just now and it says my age is 34 😂

Yes YABVU. Ageing is a privilege. Get a grip.

I went to a school event with a friend and there was a photographer there trying to promote family photos. She asked if I wanted a ‘mother-daughter’ picture. As she didn’t know if either of us had daughters she obv thought one of us was the other’s mother - we’re the same age!!!!

There was a polite laugh and “we’ll have to have a think” while moving off quickly etc. then it was never spoken of again! 😥

Lol. Also 55. Felt much the same recently when for the first time I was asked if my 34 year old daughter was my daughter. Up till now strangers have referenced her to me as 'your friend'. Take heart OP. You could have a 29 year old and be well under 50. Some people would think it ruder to draw attention to you possibly being a teen mum than to say nothing.

I assumed given the topic the quote was referring to how people perceive your face ie how young or old you look for your age,or if you appear too young to have children of a certain age. I find the quote helpful. In fact I'm keeping it in mind when asked my children's age in future rather than go into a full explanation of we had our first soon after leaving uni when I get the usual side look & 'never' comments. I'll now hold my head up & think it's none of my business what you think of how I look so think what you like 😁

This exactly.
Most women in their 50’s don’t look like 30 year olds.
Any more than a 25 yr old looks 15.

Come to think of it I have two friends who are my age who always tell me that they get told they look in their 30s
I never tell them that I used to get the same incredulity because it sounds insane
But up til I turned 53 I was always getting comments eg when I went to have a blood test the nurse had to double check my date of birth, another time told I was too young to ask about menopause, first time I met a load of cousins they were all shocked I had a son my age and on and on
So when that stops it is a big deal and you wonder if you have suddenly aged or what, what has changed so dramatically
Also I tried HRT and I immediately put on a stone and got thrush so had to stop and yes I tried a variety
So anyway I guess I have to accept it as I certainly won't be going down the surgical route
At least the sun is out now
Happy Valentines Day 💝

It really doesn't matter that much. If you're alive, you're in relatively good health, that's what matters. I'd rather look older and be healthy than the other way around.

My mother was one of those women who could be mistaken for 15 yrs & more younger all her life. She had to be persuaded to wear makeup & had little grey hair when she died into very old age. It's genetic.

It is, but it can also be medical. I'll probably never have wrinkles.

DS (then 8) was in hospital last year. I was asked if I'm mum or grandma 😱😫. Also I now have a new colleague who is younger than my oldest DC 😫

I envy you.

Honestly.

I get Id'd regularly. I'm 41. I hate it. I have a ridiculously young face, always have. I can't wait until it ages and I can stop getting the gasps and the "you'll hate it when nobody asks". Um no I won't I'll love it!

100%

It's actually not as flattering as people think. The fact is only those who know how it is to be middle aged & more have women the same age looking at you like you're from outer space know how it feels.

Take that as a win and quit thinking about it while you're ahead...

I'm in my 60s without a line or wrinkle. My mother was the same. Her hair at the end of her life was mainly black & no she wasn't as far as we know anything other than British descent.

You can get wine with Uber Eats?!

Oh, yes! There’s a supermarket section. You can get literally anything. 😊

This is brand new information!

I am delighted to be the bearer of good news!

I have 2 friends who say they don’t look their own age. One is very glamorous but her face, hands and décolletage are really wrinkled, she looks her age but still looks good. The other one actually looks older than her actual age. No idea what mirror they use.

Unless you have rare genes, certain nationality or have work done, you’ll look your age.

My mother looks much younger than her age because like a fairly large number of her siblings and aunts and uncles (when they were alive) she hasn’t gone uniformly grey. I don’t mean she dyes her hair, just that it’s only minimally grey. Regardless of any other markers it seems to fool the eye so you might think she was 60+ but she is close to 90. To be honest I do think it’s problematic as she an independent soul and it would probably be helpful if people realised she really shouldn’t be doing as much as she should.

My mum has also not gone grey and is in her late 70s. She’s got the odd grey hair here and there but mostly her hair is still very dark. It’s odd how this happens to some people, only a very small proportion.

The other side of my family all went grey in their 30s or even earlier!

I am jumping back on this thread because there were some nice people who commiserated with me and my 'devastation' and also I am full of cold and feel like crap and I always like it when posters do updates so here is mine
Not doing it to be controversial I just thought some people might be interested

Anyways, I had accepted that I no longer look young for my age, its fine, that's life, but then a few things have happened this year where people have commented the following :
At a party talking about menopause and I piped up about my symptoms and the other women all gawped and said I looked too young
At the same party I mentioned my late 20s son and one woman said 'I thought you were 30'
At the same bookclub another member who wasn't there the first time said: "You dont look anywhere near your age, you dont have any lines or wrinkles. If you told me you're 30 I'd have believed you."
The only thing that's changed is I am doing project pan and trying to use up all my skincare products before Christmas so I have been using everything religiously
Maybe that has helped or maybe I just accepted my age and relaxed?
I dunno
Anyway I am going back to sleep

I'm totally with you OP, I'm 54 and it's only recently I've stopped receiving the gasps 😱 and it's upsetting. To be honest, it was only teens and people in their 20's that were like this because they assumed everyone my age looks like their nanna and I'm nobody's nanna.