To be devastated about this minor thing...

[Ninerina]

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

I'm 31 tomorrow and have been asked for ID for Redbull (you have to be 16) 🙃 and yes they were deadly serious
And it hasn't just happened the once
I've been refused alcohol ffs

It's like using the self service tills to buy wine and the store assistant just presses the "visibly over 25" button!!

I know I'm 44 but it still stings a bit!!

🤣

What monsters!!! LTB (Leave the Book Club) as fast as you can!! 😆🙃😂

I was asked for ID trying to buy paracetamol in Aldi at 30 and again last year at 31 for trying to buy paracetamol in Morrison’s 😅 I’m now 32 and have not been asked for ID in a while 😂

Honestly OP there will come a time when you actually look your age.

Better get used to the reality of it and accept it as part of life for your own sake.

I get "offended" when I don't get ID'd buying alcohol.

I'm 36! 🤣

Yeah the older you get, the closer you get to looking your age 😁

You need to start thinking like a man. I’ve met loads of men who look well older than they are, yet happily proclaim how they look so great and young for their age. They have managed to maintain this self-delusion with no positive feedback from anyone ever. Think like a man. OP!

Me too - I just never think about it unless they mention them.

On the plus side OP no one commented on your nearly 30 year old son still living with mum and dad.

I don’t really understand why you were upset. Were you hoping/expecting them to say, ‘Oh, you don’t look old enough to have a 29 year old son!’

@Ninerina I am one of your people! 🙋‍♀️

I am 52 and my son is 35. I've always received people's surprise at his age very smugly and basked in the warm glow of my shocking youngness. But this week I told someone and nothing. Not a word. I can only blame the fact that I was not wearing makeup and I haven't had a period for 6 months.

I had a DC when I was young and had a long period in my 30s where people were shocked I had a teenager. I was mistaken for his sister a few times (which I always thought felt really weird.) Like you, somehow people stopped being shocked.
I look my age, and I am really privileged to have reached this age, and that both me and my DC are healthy. Age isn't something to be ashamed of. You should own it, it's a brilliant thing to be getting older and there are many positives to it!

Yanbu.

Everyone knows the standard response is "oh, you don't look old enough to have grown up children".

Obviously a woman’s face collapses a bit during menopause, well mine has! I was always told I looked young for my age, but now at the other side of meno, not so much!! Looking at myself and my friends, we’ve all suddenly aged, but that’s normal. Who cares what anyone else thinks OP.

Im 38 and my child is 22 in may.
I dont look my age but i do look awful in the mornings lol.
I get told no way you have an adult son but i do 1 and done.

As soon as your hormones shut off, everything goes horrible.

I can't decide if you are vain or pathetic or fishing for compliments.

To be fair, though, that could be more the age gap between you and your son. You were 17 when you had him, which is young, so that might cause people to do a double take.

What utter bastards they all are.

Is it really so bloody hard to fall off a chair in disbelief?
Really so hard to do???🙄

I regularly do this for people I meet, and I know it is hugely appreciated by them.

I call it a small but valuable service to society.

Don't return OP.
Ugly ugly people.

🤣

Mumsnet has got really weird lately

Well turn this the other way around: maybe they thought you had him at 15 and didn't want to ask awkward questions?

What's worse? They think you're the age you actually are or they think you got knocked up at 14?

I'm not trying to be mean; I'm trying to point out that you've turned an absolute non thing into something because of something going on within yourself.

Remember that most people are thinking about themselves way more than they are about anyone else. They probably barely noted it or the age because they were thinking about how they were being perceived.

Freeing yourself from this urge - we all have it - is the ultimate liberation.

Yup I was always told I looked 10 years younger than I am - that seemed to stop overnight at around the age of 48. I was a smidge upset at first but now (almost 51) quite enjoy being my age with the confidence that comes with not trying to impress or compare myself to anyone else.

Oh, only the third option, maybe. If you've been told all your adult life that you don't look as old as you are and then suddenly people stop saying it, it's going to sting a bit.

I get you, OP! Someone once told me they'd assumed I was the same age as them (40, I was 31) and I told it as a funny story but it was actually quite hurtful. Now I just aspire to be the best looking 50 year old I can be.

This might be more to do with you being 16/17 when you had your son.

For example, my colleague is 39 and has a 7 year old.

I’m sure you look wonderful though, 38 is still young!

Are you sure they weren't asking your husband's age and were shocked when you said 29?

I sympathise. It’s about not liking looking older which is pretty much what happens if we’re lucky enough to be living.
I was the same age as you when I had my first and have had the exact same experiences.
I struggle to accept my ageing face and body and wish I could make peace with it. That said my dh says I’m beautiful (I’m not) and he couldn’t care less if I were heavily wrinkled.
I have a few tweakments, take care of my skin, exercise etc. I’m having my lips ‘blushed’ to replace the colour they’ve lost.
Ultimately it’s how we view ourselves that is most important. I just think I look ok for my age and if I looked lots younger it would be odd.