To be devastated about this minor thing...

[Ninerina]

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

I couldn’t imagine any world where I got offended or upset no one was falling over themselves in shock or awe rather than thinking I look somewhere within the general age bracket I am actually in 😂

This thread has turned predictably nasty.

Totally unnecessary.

makes me think of this

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1906168209703754

Same, I definitely cry internally a bit every time 😅

I also think it's something to with it taking absolutely forrr-e-vvver to get old enough to buy your own booze and then time passing within the blink of an eye between 20 and 40!!

OP my eldest is only 18 and I'm already getting offended that no one gasps in shock that I could possibly be old enough to have an adult child 😭😭🤣

If the OP was meant to be tongue in cheek, I’m afraid that completely escaped me. Perhaps a ‘lighthearted’ should have been added? It seemed so heartfelt!

I got the OP straight away and found it funny, but I don't get this and I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny. I hope you're being tongue in cheek about the emojis.

Literally no-one looks significantly different from their actual age.

A well kept /genetically lucky 50 year old looks like a 50 year old that has good skin/hair whatever, not a 35 year old.

Some people have extensive work which makes them think they look younger, but it just makes them look like an insecure older person who has had lots of work done!

As I generally rule I use the "you don't look your age" compliment to people who clearly look like they've had work done or are clearly dressing inappropriately young, as it's obvious that's the reaction they want. I'm well aware roughly what age they are - because they always look it!

I didn't look my age right up to late 40s, and used to get those comments, then menopause comes .... and my ego is adjusting to the aging process. Developing dry eyes in particular has really aged me sadly. We know it's particularly hard in this culture to actually age, if I think about my older relatives in the 70s, I wonder how I can age like them in this climate.

The only people I know ,who genuinely look very young in their 50s and later are the Filipinos .

Exactly, people who have had work done look their age but with work done, and that's okay.
Get some HRT if you haven't already OP

Although I absolutely agree we shouldn’t be fixated I think very few of my friends won’t have had similar thoughts around this

up until 2 years ago when I was asked my age around 50% of people would express surprise. Then it very suddenly stopped. A real pointed difference. Think the answer is menopause. It steals joy and youth from you

Ha! I understand your upsettness. When I was about 52 everyone would say 'Oooh you don't look your age!' which was nice to hear.
I went to a friend's wedding last week and when I said I was 59 (with a 20 year old son) no one said a thing 😁
I guess I now look OLD. But as a previous poster said, maybe it's time to stop caring so much and enjoy the years we have. (Although I do recommend YSL's Touch Eclat for the eye area)

Up until I was 52 people regularly looked shocked when they discovered my age. Sometimes I'd be chatting to someone 20 years younger and I'd see them looking puzzled as something I said didn't make sense in the context of them thinking I was a lot younger.

So I started finding subtle ways to weave it into conversation and would still see shocked looks. But at 55, gradually I have noticed that I can probably stop doing this as nobody looks surprised anymore....😂. The neck and hands don't lie!

I live this vicariously through my dog. She is 14 this year but acts like a puppy. People have always said ah, she's a young un but now she's going grey so looks like an old lady. It makes me ridiculously sad.

What were you expecting OP?
Shocked gasps?
Clutching of pearls?
People falling off their chairs?
Unending exclamations of ‘You don’t look it?’
Disappointed at the lack of attention?

Perhaps you need to find a different audience whose response will suit you?

'Your people' ???
You are really scraping the bottom of the barrel 😂

There was a thread on here a year or so ago where the OP was upset because she kept getting told she didn't look old enough to have a son whatever age he was.

You can't win with people so they've learned to say nothing now, whether it’s looking good for your age or losing 100lbs in weight and looking great or whatever. We’ve learned to keep it zipped 🤐

Clearly the majority of people aren't as vain, immature and self-absorbed as your people.

Just wait until the the checkout woman in Iceland asks for your card, because it's 10% off for OAPs on Tuesdays.

God me too. When I moved my new neighbour thought I was 30 ( I was fifty). The following year I had a full hysterectomy and everything just seemed to go to pot. Weight gain, dull skin, lifeless hair. No one ever says I look good for my age now (early sixties). I’ve got used to it but it did gall at first 😁

I’ve had similar done to me. Asked if I wanted a small (pensioner) plate at a carvery. My sister who is older did not get asked. 😭😭

Totally get you OP, I now 'look my age' and it's very upsetting 🤣 I expect to be told I look like a baby what is this fresh hell

Um, I literally put 'minor' thing in the title
If I had written it was a monumental travesty etc then you know you could be mistaken for misinterpreting it

God what is wrong with some of these replies today? 'I have found my people' is a well known, light hearted remark common on Mumsnet surely?

Poor OP must have aged even further from the stress of trying to get through to some of you that she was making a joke 😂

It's not vanity tho
It's just musing upon what has suddenly changed. Your people don't have this change to mourn and clearly have always been sour faced miseries