To be devastated about this minor thing...

[Ninerina]

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

Devastated? Really?

Really?
Well it seems to have elicited quite a lot of posts revealing that how old they look, or not, is important to a lot of posters. And they certainly don't read as tongue in cheek.

I am also one of your people OP 🙋🏻‍♀️, I get why it has stung, I don’t get the shocked face of disbelief anymore either and it felt like it happened literally overnight, a bit like when Kevin (Harry Enfield) the angelic little boy went to bed and woke up as Kevin the teenager, except when I woke up one morning I had morphed into my elderly mother, I do try to be grateful for reaching my late fifties but when you are used to looking young and lovely it can be quite upsetting when you are no longer seen that way, I’m doing my best to be grateful for still being alive but it is a difficult adjustment, in the words of Kevin, it’s not fair! 😂

Even if you look 5 years younger than you are, it's still not particularly shocking that you could have a 29 year old.

Just how young do you think you look?

The last person who said I didn't look my age was a chap who was running alongside me at running club in the dark ie. he couldn't actually see my face!

I took it.

I'm 54 - pretty sure my face and hair says exactly that. I am in good physical shape. I have a 25 year old and I pretty sure no one questions whether I'm his Mum or not. I also have a 15 year old and sometimes feel like 'an older Mum' when I'm with him.

Oh actually, someone was really surprised I was over 50 (she saw a race result where I was in the female vet 50 category). That was quite nice as it was genuine and just off the cuff.

Eh? You do know that 55 minus 29 is 21? I mean 21 is young to have a baby these days but saying that you’re sorry OP had a teenage pregnancy? Wtf?

FWIW my parents were 20 and 23 respectively when they had me and my sister. That was the norm back then.

It made my day when someone on the bus, bemoaning her age said ”wait till you get to 70”
I said, I’m seven years older than you!

🤦🏻‍♀️ The poster this person is responding to is 38 and has a 22 year old.

Read the thread. it was lighthearted. In the same way me and other posters are “devastated” that no-one asks for ID any more ;)

The person she’s responding to (it’s in the quote history) said Im 38 and my child is 22 in may

38-22 = 16

(Also, 55 - 29 is actually 26.)

Im not sorry that i had him young no regrets at all i enjoyed every bit of it.
I bounced back quite fast after a c-section lost my baby weight and got on with it.
It worked out for me i now have no responsibility only for me my son as moved out and getting on with his life.
Im free so no regrets and i would never look down on anyone that as had a baby young and choose to keep it.

My eldest is 31 and I’m 51 and definitely look it! No fucks given. I’ve got a healthy daughter. Who cares?

I get what you mean OP

I was peeved at everyone assuming my granddaughter was my granddaughter and I'm in my 60s 🤣

Look I am sure you look lovely. But there is an age where most women start to age a lot faster. I certainly look my age now whereas before I was mid 40s I didn’t.

Why are you so worried about it anyway- who cares how old they think you are? Or are you planning on turning into one of those lunatics who want people to think that their son is their boyfriend (see also Alan Bennett plays).

You've probably just aged and now look your age. It happens to everyone.

Good grief.

Apart from the members in the Book Club!!

How bizarre. For you to care so much.
Surely most adults are aware that women are capable of producing children from the age of about 12 to about 45. I presume you don't want them to think you had a baby when you were 12?!
Do you make judgements about how old other people look? If so maybe you should try and think about people's personalities rather than their appearance. And not being do self absorbed and desperate for reassurance.

We have become a society where no one dare mention anything at all about anyone’s appearance, age, behaviour, family dynamics, hair colour, children, state of drunkenness, choice of car, dog, etc….😎

I get it OP. I'm not devastated but I do notice that the days are gone when people would say I looked young for my age and I'm pretty amazed I've got fully grown children ( how did 25 years pass by) and notice a bit whisfully when people just take the information on board. I'm hoping it's because they see me as a fully functioning, mature adult perfectly capable of raising a family. I think there comes a time for most people when your age just catches up looks wise.

As others have kindly pointed out on my behalf, I was responding to someone else who had their child at 16 and found people were surprised she had an adult son at 38. I quoted her post.

Honestly, reading comprehension on here is worrying.

"Eh? You do know that 55 minus 29 is 21?"

No it's not. It's 26.

How can I be fishing for compliments when you don't know what I look like?

I went out with a group for a birthday recently. In line for a club (already a bad idea at my age) they were telling people to get ID’s ready. Didn’t even glance at mine, just ushered my in. Ouch 🙃.

When DD was in reception I was shocked when two of her friends asked if I was her DGM (I was only 40 and always looked young for my age). I found out later I was older than both of their DGMs!