Husband picking au pair up from airport

[Wanttokeepmyprivacy]

Husband did the 3 hour round trip this eve as au pair went home for a few days. I am going through cancer treatment and I had another operation on Friday, discharged yesterday. Husband is a wonderful man but I know he is knackered. Au pair is a 21 year old stunner who is also a really lovely girl but I can’t help think she is young and fit and can make her own way from the airport and it’s not late at night. And my hubby could have spent the evening looking after me and the kids, or even relaxing rather than be a taxi driver for her. AIBU?

Saying she is a stunner belies your true feelings.

You either trust him or you don’t 🤷‍♀️
sorry to hear your under going cancer treatment

Sorry for what you're going through health wise.

Did you suggest alternatives for getting to the airport?

Sorry you're having such a tough time op 😔

If you asked him not to take her as you need him, YANBU.

If you expected him to know it would bother you YABU.

Super easy, it’s London. Trains, buses, taxi . We would have paid

Your aupair is meant to be treated as a family member

of course anyone would go and pick up a daughter

Im sorry about your health issues.

I think I’d need to know if this was something your DH would offer to do routinely for friends/family generally. I do think sometimes you need to listen to your gut instinct though.

My parents wouldn't have picked me up at 21

This. What did you need him to do, or is it just NOT helping her?

I imagine that the Au Pair has been a Godsend to you and your family and your husband expressed his gratitude by giving her a lift.

Don't add jealousy and spite into the mix of what is already a tough time for you.

Think positive, happy thoughts.

I'm pretty sure that there's a backstory here

Of course he fancies her. Why would you hire her though, it's such a cliche, husband and the nanny. I personally would hire an old dingbat, just saying..

I wouldn't have had a lift to the airport or from it at 21 nor would I have expected one. I do lots for my own DC but I would expect them to try and sort themselves out of I'd had an operation in the last couple of days, especially if it was for Cancer.

Yes OP. It sounds as though he got his priorities wrong.
You and the children should have been his first concern, especially given your health and very recent operation.
It must have been quite hurtful for you that he put the au pair before his family.

Mine would.

Au pair pay is generally a pittance so these extras are expected. Did you offer her a taxi pick up paid by you? If you want a more independent arrangement get a nanny as the expectations are different (as is the pay
)

Why are her looks relevant?

Frankly it's just courteous for someone to drop/pick up a young woman from the airport.
She is working for you for relatively little money. If you wanted her to take a taxi then you should have discussed and arranged this with her instead of husband but I think it's very reasonable that she is brought direct to your house from airport. Either husband, taxi or someone else.

I'm sorry for your illness and operation but I also think it's considerate for her to be given a lift

Did you actually say to DH "hey, I think that I need you here to help me with my recovery and the kids, lets arrange a taxi for the au pair" and he still went himself?

If you didn't, why not? If you did, he's a twat.

My dad picked me up until I was in my 40’s, until the day he couldn’t anymore. He would always insist bless him, me and my friends always dropped home safely

I suppose the clue's in this one's name.....

So would I. I'd just feel so tired, crabby and old next to pretty much any 21 year old let alone a stunning one.

That's so lovely