Husband picking au pair up from airport

[Wanttokeepmyprivacy]

Husband did the 3 hour round trip this eve as au pair went home for a few days. I am going through cancer treatment and I had another operation on Friday, discharged yesterday. Husband is a wonderful man but I know he is knackered. Au pair is a 21 year old stunner who is also a really lovely girl but I can’t help think she is young and fit and can make her own way from the airport and it’s not late at night. And my hubby could have spent the evening looking after me and the kids, or even relaxing rather than be a taxi driver for her. AIBU?

Not 100% sure who suggested collecting her. She def could have made her own way back for sure and I would have expected him to stay home with me if I was in your situ. But maybe your DH needed some time alone and the journey to the airport gave him that - the situ isn't just difficult for you, sadly.

Sending you all a big hug. Rest up and recover fully @Wanttokeepmyprivacy xxx

Tbf it's doing those young women a favour not being placed with families where the man is going to try stick it in her. Better to not get the job than have to deal with that nonsense. Families should really not be hiring any Au Pairs if that's the type of man in the house.

Listen, I wouldn't worry. The girl is probably tired out (which 3 kids would do at any age) and she herself is probably relieved to be going home for a few days to relax.

Your husband is probably the similar. Wanted to have a little bit of quiet after the weekend before he takes over with helping care for you and kids.
As you well know it takes alot of energy looking after a household and combined with worrying about you, his wife, I'm not surprised he's knackered.

Now, make the most of being home with your children and husband who will be so pleased to have you home and recovering.

Wishing you all the best xx

Quite, public transport is much better

The OP said they’d have paid for a taxi.

That’s different then. If you’d said you would pay for a taxi, there was no need for him to go.

Trains and buses are different- that involves navigating herself, probably with a suitcase.

True, so looks have nothing to do with it, which is why the 'I'd only hire a minger' type posts are ridiculous.

Things have changed a lot with au pairs since last July - they are now entities to min wage, which also means that due to the new budget the OP will have had to register with HMRC and will be paying employers NI.
they are no longer the cheap option.

We always took ours to the airport though.

If it takes so long by car expect it very long by Sunday public transport. Perhaps it could work better if she at house earlier to help out for evening

Not all men are nasty letches. Quite a lot would view her more on the level of a child to be looked after given the age gap.

Whoa, that was an unexpected twist! Hope she and her baby are doing well, and you too!

My parents have never once picked me up from an airport. Not when I was 19, 20, 21.

I always got the bus home.

Yes, absolutely this.

So did you say to him that you would prefer to pay for taxi and for him to stay and support you?

Sorry @Doggymummar 🙁

The time to mention it would be at the suggestion @Wanttokeepmyprivacy. There will always be younger pretty women and always gorgeous much valued wives/girlfriends.

But yes she can get back on her own next time.

OP, don’t read this post 😂😂😂

Thats stating the bleedin obvious

I'm on your side OP. I would be a bit annoyed. I can see why he'd want to do the right thing and pick her up. But you're not well. If I was him I would have stayed at home.

Are you worried he did it as he wanted to spend three hours alone with her? If so, YANBU.

Yep. It doesn't matter if the au pair looks like a supermodel, if your husband isn't a cheater he isn't going to cheat with her. However, if your husband is the type to cheat, he just needs a willing accomplice - not a supermodel.

There’s multiple jobs advertised for far less than minimum wage, is there some get out clause that the family takes cost of accommodation off then?

Would you mind if he picked her up if she had a face like a dropped pie?

Speaking as someone who had au pairs for years:

I would be appalled if my DH wouldn't treat them well. If course he can drive her to the airport. She is a young and vulnerable member of your family.
It's ridiculous to presume husbands must per default fancy the au pairs.
(It's also ridiculous to think she is likely to have him on her radar.)

And if my DH ever made a pass at our au pair, or had an affair, I would not consider it cheating, I would consider it predatory with her as the victim, not me.

I am sorry about your health.

I think some people are just in families like this and others aren't. My parents would pick me up for as long as I asked. I'd do the same for them, and my sibling, and my kids (and nieces/nephews). We all love each other and work as a team.

As would mine, and honestly I'd judge anyone who wouldn't go fetch their kids if asked