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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things DP said to me while on holiday

641 replies

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

OP posts:
Strawberries86 · 08/10/2024 07:02

He’s a massive bell end.

Jifmicroliquid · 08/10/2024 07:02

He sounds horrible. Why would you want to be with someone like that?

Thedownsideisup · 08/10/2024 07:03

You're definitely not being oversensitive. He's absolutely horrible and you shouldn't put up with being spoken to that way. He clearly thinks he's better than you and he really, really isn't.

Threewheeler1 · 08/10/2024 07:04

You're not being over sensitive.
He sounds like a rude arsehole.
Is he ever actually pleasant to you OP?
I'm sorry, sounds like he's been chipping away (hammering) at your confidence for a while.
Nobody deserves that bollocks.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 08/10/2024 07:04

OP, you need to have MNHQ edit your title to read "Things ex-DP said to me while on holiday".

Topjoe19 · 08/10/2024 07:04

Have you dumped him already? He is disgusting.

Fargo79 · 08/10/2024 07:05

I wouldn't waste a moment more of my life on someone who treated me like this. He sounds dreadful and I would hazard a guess that you're only with him because your self esteem is on the floor. He quite clearly does not like or respect women. I think if you got rid of him, you'd find your confidence would miraculously start to improve.

PresidentBarklett · 08/10/2024 07:06

What an unmitigated cock.

marmiteandminticecream · 08/10/2024 07:06

omg get rid of him
this time next year your have no confidence anxiety and very poor mental health
i've been there
dump him you are worth more

BadBarry · 08/10/2024 07:06

He's awful, what a creep.

Olika · 08/10/2024 07:07

Dumb him so he can go and try to pick up all those women he kept staring at on your holiday.

RampantIvy · 08/10/2024 07:07

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive

You are definitely not being over sensitive @noodlewoo . This horrible excuse for a man has done a number on you and made you doubt yourself.

It isn't you. It is him. He is nasty. You need to end this before he undermines you any more.

zileri · 08/10/2024 07:07

Vile, nasty, insecure 'man.'

Don't put up with him for a day longer. Amazed you even need to ask!

PinkyFlamingo · 08/10/2024 07:07

It's worrying that you already think you are being "over sensitive" so clearly a lot of damage has already been done! He is slowly but surely eroding your self esteem which is psychological abuse.

AlertCat · 08/10/2024 07:07

Turn this around. Why ARE you with him- does he have any good qualities?

(IMO they’d need to be fan-fecking-tastic qualities to overcome such a deeply unpleasant side, but each to their own.)

SherlockHolmess · 08/10/2024 07:08

He’s awful and you don’t deserve this.

He’s deliberately putting you down and destroying your self esteem.

I promise you will be better without him.

Waitingfordoggo · 08/10/2024 07:08

Sounds like a total cunt. How long have you been putting up with this nonsense? (I’m assuming he hasn’t just suddenly started being rude and unkind out of the blue).

Threewheeler1 · 08/10/2024 07:08

Yeah, don't waste any more time or energy on this tosser.
Can't imagine DH saying those things to me. Your (D)P sounds like he's got tickets on himself.
You don't have to put up with him, that's not how relationships work.
Remember how shit he's made you feel this holiday then take it from there, and eject the rude lump.

Lentilweaver · 08/10/2024 07:08

In over 25 years of marriage DH has never commented on what I wear or should wear. Unless asked for feedback. Or compared me to others.
He's bloody awful.

TenWeeCaramelJoeys · 08/10/2024 07:12

Well, put it like this, do you ever say stuff like that to him? I'm going to assume that you don't. That's because you're a decent person. He isn't. He's chipping away at your confidence and it will never be any different. He's a horrible human.

frockandcrocs · 08/10/2024 07:13

Why are you with him?

Twiglets1 · 08/10/2024 07:13

My husband would never speak to me like that!

How can he still think menstruation is disgusting, is he 12??

He lacks respect for you and very likely all women. Is one of you punching? Yes, and it’s him. He doesn’t deserve a nice partner.

eatyeateat · 08/10/2024 07:14

He thinks your period is disgusting? Surely you know that's not ok? Do you ever want children- because if so get rid of this looser right now, things get a whole lot more 'hanging' than a period

Cardinalita90 · 08/10/2024 07:14

He clearly thinks he's better than you and tbh OP, almost like he has contempt for you. These digs will continue like a tap dripping until your self esteem is gone. Bin him off.

AimieDaisy · 08/10/2024 07:14

What a horrible man. I’m sorry he made you feel crap on your holiday